Help! I don’t want to send my DD to WHS anymore

[SWMum345]

There was an article in the Mail, Times, Telegraph and Tatler about an open letter written by the ex head girl of WHS about KCS school being a hotbed of sexual violence (there is another thread on this with a link to the letter). We have just accepted a place for DD to start at Wimbledon High School in September but having read this letter and the testimonials I don’t think I can do it. While the focus of the letter is about the behaviour and culture of the boys at KCS most of the experiences are from girls at WHS (or those from WHS who transferred to KCS in 6th form). Just to be clear I am not victim shaming here and I believe that no girl should ever have to endure sexual assault but I have serious misgiving about sending my daughter to a school where so many girls have been victims of sexual assault. The letter claims that “everyone knew” what the KCS girls were like - but if this was the case why did girls from the school continue to go to parties with them? Why did girls from the schools continue to get so drunk they were unconscious in the presence of known sexual predators? Where were their friends when they were being abused - why do so many accounts reference the fact that female friends of the abused (WHS girls) laughed off their stories and implied it was their fault for being too drunk? What were the parents thinking, letting their daughters go to these parties? Why did WHS not intervene if so many girls were being assaulted? So many alarm bells are ringing in my head and I honestly don’t know what to do. Part of the reason I am paying for private school is that I (clearly erroneously) thought it would provide my DD with a better chance of finding friends who were well behaved and whose parents were maybe stricter about what they did and who they were hanging out with. I have a decent state option that thankfully I have held on to (as there were questions around DHs job security in the pandemic). Should I cut my losses with the deposit and just run?

..as if there is a “normal” that’s acceptable.
I too, would be concerned about the culture among the girls. Maybe they act this way as they don’t want to be alone in their abuse? It would be more worrying to believe they actually think it’s okay. However, the more stories they have, the more mainstream these acts become, and therein acceptance of it.

Sadly, several thousand girls are coming forward on www.everyonesinvited.uk to share their sex abuse and rape stories. Girls as young as 10 years old! Many of which are at the hand of their peers while adults at school or in the community stood by doing nothing or not believing them, or worse - telling them it was their fault due to how they were dressed or being outnumbered by boys in their group or even being drunk (or most likely drugged without their knowing!). I have spoken to many English mums, who have shared that this happened when they were young too - as if it's natural? wtf?! Wake up and die right.
TAKE ACTION, there its something everyone can do. Talk to your boys, talk to your girls, talk to your schools. Talk to your husbands. This is clearly snowballing, and not becoming a smaller problem. Nothing changes, if no actions change.

Hi all,
Bit late to this thread but I just wanted to add that I think WHS have a problem with supporting victims of sexual assault and are negligent to the reports from girls. My DD who no longer attends WHS reported a sexual assault that she experienced to the school and they brushed it under the carpet and she received no pastoral support. I felt that the pastoral head at the time didn’t even believe my daughter’s report and was very dismissive of it. Of course I think the main problem here is rape culture in boys schools that needs to be focused on, but I think proper support and pastoral care should be given to victims in girls schools as a priority too.