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Secondary education

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Original poster

WWYD? derogatory comment from teacher

63 replies

moshmoshi · 13/12/2020 23:53

Y8 DC told me that one of the teachers made a derogatory comment towards another child who wouldn’t stop talking. It is the kind of comment that was common when I was in school in the 80s but is now rightly seen as disablist.

My DC was quite shocked at the comment as was older DC. It is possible that he misinterpreted the comment but not likely. I want to email school but as it is not my DC the comment was directed at would I be just seen as interfering?

OP posts:
PinGwyn · 13/12/2020 23:58

What was the comment?

Augustbreeze · 13/12/2020 23:59

No, yr DD witnessed the incident, not good for her either.

Original poster
moshmoshi · 14/12/2020 00:07

It was ‘Are you special?’ meaning ‘Do you have special needs?’

I thought the teacher might have meant ‘You’re not special.’ As in stop showing off, you’re not special but DC adamant it was the first meaning, they said they could tell it was by the way the teacher was saying/shouting it.

OP posts:
PinGwyn · 14/12/2020 00:14

I wouldn't report that tbh - context is everything with that comment and you weren't there so it's hard to judge.

I'd assume (hopefully!) it was more an "are you special?" as in "do you think the rules don't apply to you" type thing.

Original poster
moshmoshi · 14/12/2020 00:25

I hope it was meant in that way pingwyn. Apparently teacher is quite mean so this might have influenced DC’s view of what they thought was meant.

OP posts:
Pieceofpurplesky · 14/12/2020 00:31

I've said 'are you special' to children who think they are above the school rules - never meant in a derogatory way and has never been taken as such - strangely a lot of children wouldn't think of 'special' as a derogatory word as it is not one generally used to identify pupils with additional needs any more.

Being 'mean' in the eyes of a 12/13 year older doesn't mean the teacher calls other pupils names - it probably means she doesn't let them misbehave in her class!

Original poster
moshmoshi · 14/12/2020 00:41

It is in the area I live in! I am aware that his idea of mean is probably very exaggerated as well.

I would always say ‘Do you think you’re special?’ rather than ‘Are you special?’, it seems hardly different but when I grew up, and in the area I live now the second version is definitely derogatory. Hence both DC being quite shocked by the comment.

The teacher may not have meant it like that at all though and reading yours and pingwyn’s replies my DC and I may have misinterpreted her meaning. I hope so.

OP posts:
AlexaShutUp · 14/12/2020 00:48

It wouldn't occur to me that "are you special" would mean anything other than "do you think you're special", i.e. do you think the rules don't apply to you. Obviously, no idea how the teacher actually meant it, but it's possible that the dc have misinterpreted.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 14/12/2020 01:03

That doesn't mean "have you got special needs" to me - just the teacher asking them if they think they're above the rules.

housemdwaswrong · 14/12/2020 01:09

I've asked pupils if they are special, always in terms of being above the rules. I think you may be right and it's been misinterpreted as he doesn't like the teacher anyway. Special needs is also a fairly outdated term I think, whenever we discuss them in a professional forum it's usually additional needs or learning keeps, so I doubt the connotation was intentional.

I'd wait. If this was how the involved child took it, the school would rightly hear from their parents soon enough.

caringcarer · 14/12/2020 01:14

Surely "are you special?" is asking a child if they think they don't have to follow the rules. If teacher had said, "do you have special needs?"I would complain but not complain for "are you special?"

cabbageking · 14/12/2020 03:40

Are you special? Would tend to infer the child felt rules didn't apply to them.

TW2013 · 14/12/2020 05:49

It is in the area I live in!

I guess this is the issue, if the teacher is not local they might have no idea that it could be misinterpreted. I think that professionally I would probably want to know.

TeenPlusTwenties · 14/12/2020 06:32

I guess if you wanted to do something you could email the teacher:

DS says you said 'are you special' to another pupil on Friday. He came home quite shocked as he had interpreted it as you asking in a derogatory 'special needs' kind of way. I explained that you couldn't possibly have meant that and were meaning 'above the rules'.
However I am letting you know because in this area DS's interpretation is commonly held, so you might want to stop using that phrase in case someone takes offence.

Thank you very much for teaching DS science this term, and I hope you have a relaxing corona-free Christmas.

Best wishes.

TheSilentStars · 14/12/2020 06:34

Are you special- as you understand it OP, tends to be used as an insult between kids I find.
Teachers use it to mean something else.

ScrumptiousBears · 14/12/2020 06:41

I agree with PP. it's far more likely the teacher meant do they think they are above the rules. I think you need to stop looking for issues where there aren't any.

Skipsurvey · 14/12/2020 06:42

i would not report, i t hink your dc has interpreted it wrongly

my own dc was shocked that i wanted The Specials CD

BefuddledPerson · 14/12/2020 06:45
  1. This comment could be interpreted either way, so I wouldn't complain.
  2. If it was more clear cut, I absolutely would complain even if not aimed at my child. I have for example complained about blatant misogynistic remarks in my male child's class. A horrible culture affects everyone.
Pandabuzz · 14/12/2020 06:50

I would definitely think this was meant as “Do you think you’re so special that the rebukes don’t apply to you?”.

Pandabuzz · 14/12/2020 06:50

@Pandabuzz

I would definitely think this was meant as “Do you think you’re so special that the rebukes don’t apply to you?”.
Rules! Sorry.
rabbitwoman · 14/12/2020 06:56

'do you think you are special, that the rules don't apply to you?' - I use it all the time.

Also I often get 'but I'm special, miss!' (usually meaning, I can't do what you are asking me because I have a learning difficulty - yes, I know, but bless them, they are children) - I always reply 'you're all special to me..... Now sit down and do as you are told!'

Kids can interpret what they hear through any filter they like - and unfortunately, teachers who are quite strict with high expectations of behaviour can sometimes be perceived as mean. But it can take so much will and energy to get a class of 30 kids to do what they need to do - especially now. It's tough in the classroom - and my skool is lovely, one of the best.

Don't complain. Instead, back up and support the teacher 100%. Really, they deserve it...... :-)

Lougle · 14/12/2020 07:09

I'm quite sensitive to this as DD1 has SN, but I think it sounds like the teacher was asking what was giving them the right to break the rules.

Sittinbythesea · 14/12/2020 07:10

Generally when kids say a teacher is ‘mean’ they mean strict or has told me off or won’t let us get away with stuff or isn’t trying to be our friend and that is a good thing!

Ginfordinner · 14/12/2020 07:11

@Pandabuzz

I would definitely think this was meant as “Do you think you’re so special that the rebukes don’t apply to you?”.
I would have assumed that this is what the teacher meant as well.

I suspect that "are you special" is teenspeak for something else that adults don't use.

PresentingPercy · 14/12/2020 07:28

God: what a minefield? It would have been completely avoided if the DC had stopped talking! What about complaining about the rude child that was holding up the lesson? You never know, your DC might actually learn something!