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Original poster

WWYD? derogatory comment from teacher

63 replies

moshmoshi · 13/12/2020 23:53

Y8 DC told me that one of the teachers made a derogatory comment towards another child who wouldn’t stop talking. It is the kind of comment that was common when I was in school in the 80s but is now rightly seen as disablist.

My DC was quite shocked at the comment as was older DC. It is possible that he misinterpreted the comment but not likely. I want to email school but as it is not my DC the comment was directed at would I be just seen as interfering?

OP posts:
cansu · 17/12/2020 19:20

A teen might use the word special in a derogatory way. For me and for most adults, it would mean something quite different. Are you special would mean exactly that - ie do you think that you are above the rules?

cansu · 17/12/2020 19:28

You have taken something your ds overheard, misconstrued it and made a complaint essentially alleging that the teacher is making a derogatory comment about people with special needs. This is based on your ds ideas about the word 'special' and his opinion of a teacher he dislikes. I am completely speechless. It isn't a regional thing. It is the difference between a teen and an adult. A teen may well say this in a nasty, unpleasant way to a peer who they are mocking; an adult would not. You are right by the way, the teacher will think that both you and your child are utterly ridiculous! She won't say a word to him, but she won't go out of her way for you or your child in the future.

TheLadyOfShallnott · 17/12/2020 19:31

😶

ChessIsASport · 17/12/2020 19:34

I can’t believe you emailed the school about this!

FestiveChristmasLights · 17/12/2020 19:43

@cansu

You have taken something your ds overheard, misconstrued it and made a complaint essentially alleging that the teacher is making a derogatory comment about people with special needs. This is based on your ds ideas about the word 'special' and his opinion of a teacher he dislikes. I am completely speechless. It isn't a regional thing. It is the difference between a teen and an adult. A teen may well say this in a nasty, unpleasant way to a peer who they are mocking; an adult would not. You are right by the way, the teacher will think that both you and your child are utterly ridiculous! She won't say a word to him, but she won't go out of her way for you or your child in the future.
Agreed and it won’t just be the teacher who will think that, but all of the teachers and the head.

It also says something about you and your son that it’s your immediate thought upon hearing certain words.

notanotherlockdownsurely · 17/12/2020 19:48

I live in the SE OP and ' are you special' would clearly mean ' do you have special needs'
It's nasty and disablist
However I'm not sure in this situation what I'd do

MissEliza · 17/12/2020 19:50

I live in the SE and would understand 'are you special' in this context to mean do you think you are above the rules.

hedgehogger1 · 17/12/2020 19:54

Coz teachers don't have enough shit to deal with right now. Well done OP

unmarkedbythat · 17/12/2020 19:55

A teen may well say this in a nasty, unpleasant way to a peer who they are mocking; an adult would not.

I am aghast that anyone would seriously make this argument. Yes, some adults would say this and it is ridiculous to pretend otherwise.

MissEliza · 17/12/2020 20:03

@hedgehogger1

Coz teachers don't have enough shit to deal with right now. Well done OP
Well said.
MyGazeboisLeaking · 17/12/2020 20:11

@notanotherlockdownsurely

I live in the SE OP and ' are you special' would clearly mean ' do you have special needs' It's nasty and disablist However I'm not sure in this situation what I'd do

I also live in the South East, and would think it meant 'are you above the rules' .

OP - I think you have got yourself involved in something you have no definitive knowledge of. Wrong call.

MyGazeboisLeaking · 17/12/2020 20:15

@moshmoshi

Thanks for all the opinions, it seems to be a regional thing. I mentioned it to a couple of local teacher friends (without namiing the teacher/school) they were quite shocked and thought I shoul raise it with the teacher/school in the way a pp mentioned 'You may not be aware...' type email.

Nether friend thought I was overreacting and thought either the teacher must be very unaware as to how it would come across or meant it in a derogatory way.

I emailed the school to mention it but have hopefully phrased it as 'maybe this teacher needs to be made aware' rather than a complaint. My DC was very concerned that the teacher concerned would be angry at him, in his mind she can be very angry, not sure how true this is, so I emailed the head of year instead.

I'm sure they will be really pleased to get your email on the last working day before Christmas, when they have pandemic restrictions, isolations and January plans to deal with.

Nellle · 17/12/2020 21:30

This isn't a regional thing. Sadly, it reflects the depressingly low expectations you clearly have of teachers.

That head of year will have to raise it with the teacher. Both will know she meant "Are you above the rules?" but the conversation will leave a bitter taste nonetheless and it will always be remembered just what Student X's mum thinks of teachers.

Nice conversation for the last day of term too 🙄

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