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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

WWYD? derogatory comment from teacher

63 replies

moshmoshi · 13/12/2020 23:53

Y8 DC told me that one of the teachers made a derogatory comment towards another child who wouldn’t stop talking. It is the kind of comment that was common when I was in school in the 80s but is now rightly seen as disablist.

My DC was quite shocked at the comment as was older DC. It is possible that he misinterpreted the comment but not likely. I want to email school but as it is not my DC the comment was directed at would I be just seen as interfering?

OP posts:

lockeddownandcrazy · 14/12/2020 07:31

I think its been misinterpreted and given that it wasn't addressed to your child I don't think you should do anything.

DecemberSun · 14/12/2020 07:36

Total over reaction, OP.

lanthanum · 14/12/2020 12:08

@TeenPlusTwenties

I guess if you wanted to do something you could email the teacher:

DS says you said 'are you special' to another pupil on Friday. He came home quite shocked as he had interpreted it as you asking in a derogatory 'special needs' kind of way. I explained that you couldn't possibly have meant that and were meaning 'above the rules'.
However I am letting you know because in this area DS's interpretation is commonly held, so you might want to stop using that phrase in case someone takes offence.

Thank you very much for teaching DS science this term, and I hope you have a relaxing corona-free Christmas.

Best wishes.

Agree with @TeenPlusTwenties.

There are some regional variations in use of language, and it's entirely possible that the teacher has not come across this use of "special".

Ginfordinner · 14/12/2020 12:17

and it's entirely possible that the teacher has not come across this use of "special"

TBH neither have I.

Fedup21 · 14/12/2020 12:22

It is possible that he misinterpreted the comment but not likely

Or,...it’s actually massively likely that he misinterpreted the comment.

I would do nothing.

Bluntness100 · 14/12/2020 12:24

I would also assume this means are you special as in do your think you’re better than everyone else. I think if it meant anything else it would be phrased differently.

FestiveChristmasLights · 14/12/2020 12:24

@Ginfordinner

and it's entirely possible that the teacher has not come across this use of "special"

TBH neither have I.

Same here.

I wouldn’t report it. It’s impossible to prove the context.

Scarby9 · 14/12/2020 12:32

It would never occur to me that that could be interpreted the way your DC have interpreted it.
I too would use the question without much thought to mean 'I meant everyone, no exceptions'.
See also 'I am not at home to Mr. ButIwasjust' which became a catchphrase in one class. I din't even know the origin of the 'Not at home to Mr X' phrase but i would use it in exactly the same context.

Scarby9 · 14/12/2020 12:33

Din't = don't

Moondust001 · 14/12/2020 12:33

I've never heard anyone use the phrase in the way that you describe, as a disabilist insult. I have heard teachers described as mean. It usually suggests said teacher entices the rules, expects good behaviour, and unreasonably thinks that the classroom is a place to study and learn.

Moondust001 · 14/12/2020 12:34

Enforces not entices...

KarenMarlow3 · 14/12/2020 12:34

It's not possible for teachers to stop and think before their every utterance, just in case Mrs. Offended comes rocking up with 'you shouldn't have said this.'
The child in question wouldn't stop talking. He/she was told off, and it's not remit of parents to question the language used - unless, of course, the language is blatantly offensive, which this comment certainly wasn't. It obviously meant, 'do you think you are above the rules?'

lanthanum · 14/12/2020 13:34

So it's clear that some people have heard "special" used in derogatory way and others haven't - probably regional variation. If I were the teacher, I would want to know if it was potentially offensive in the area where I was teaching. For those of you saying "I've never heard it used like that", that's exactly the problem - this teacher probably hasn't either - but it doesn't mean that it isn't ever used that way.

supportivemyarse · 14/12/2020 14:49

good grief, poor teachers.

I wouldn't email but if I did I'd be more inclined to ask what they're doing about the DC disrupting my child's education.

SheldonesqueIsUnwell · 14/12/2020 14:57

Crikey. At this rate teachers will have to be mute.

As if their job isn’t hard enough at the moment.

TicTacTwo · 14/12/2020 15:24

Teenagers here say "are you special?" meaning "Are you Special Needs?" but if a teacher said it I would assume they meant it the normal adult way as teachers don't usually talk in teen slang do they?

TicTacTwo · 14/12/2020 15:26

I'd personally be pleased that the teacher was telling chatty kids to stop talking. Why wouldn't he stop talking ? Was he discussing something important ?

Ginfordinner · 14/12/2020 17:24

@TicTacTwo

Teenagers here say "are you special?" meaning "Are you Special Needs?" but if a teacher said it I would assume they meant it the normal adult way as teachers don't usually talk in teen slang do they?

Yes. I'm inclined to think it is teenage slang.

BalloonSlayer · 14/12/2020 17:34

@Ginfordinner

and it's entirely possible that the teacher has not come across this use of "special"

TBH neither have I.

If the kids use it then the teacher will be aware of it.

blue25 · 14/12/2020 17:47

Oh just keep your nose out. Your child has probably misheard. Teachers/ schools have enough on their plate at the moment!

BefuddledPerson · 14/12/2020 19:14

@Moondust001

I've never heard anyone use the phrase in the way that you describe, as a disabilist insult.

Find this amazing though, it is so well known.

Ginfordinner · 14/12/2020 20:08

Find this amazing though, it is so well known.

I find it amazing that you find it amazing, since clearly it isn't "so well known" as so many posters have never heard of it as a disablist insult, and neither has the teacher by the sound of it.

BefuddledPerson · 14/12/2020 20:12

@Ginfordinner

Find this amazing though, it is so well known.

I find it amazing that you find it amazing, since clearly it isn't "so well known" as so many posters have never heard of it as a disablist insult, and neither has the teacher by the sound of it.

Hoppinggreen · 16/12/2020 17:22

“Special” is certainly teen speak here for SN but for me it means better than everyone else. It’s hard to tell not being there but I can see an adult using it in a very different context to a school child

Original poster

moshmoshi · 17/12/2020 19:12

Thanks for all the opinions, it seems to be a regional thing. I mentioned it to a couple of local teacher friends (without namiing the teacher/school) they were quite shocked and thought I shoul raise it with the teacher/school in the way a pp mentioned 'You may not be aware...' type email.

Nether friend thought I was overreacting and thought either the teacher must be very unaware as to how it would come across or meant it in a derogatory way.

I emailed the school to mention it but have hopefully phrased it as 'maybe this teacher needs to be made aware' rather than a complaint. My DC was very concerned that the teacher concerned would be angry at him, in his mind she can be very angry, not sure how true this is, so I emailed the head of year instead.

OP posts:

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