Corona Cohort - Year 12 - 2021 - NO 'Self isolating' please.

[Oblomov20]

We just want our kids in school. Please. If at all possible.

And driving lessons. And good Mental Health. And happiness.

In-and-amongst all this Covid nightmare and lockdown debacle.

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DS doesn't really know what he wants to do - possibly law or history or a mix of both or politics. He has had assessments this week which has been tough. I think the step up from GCSE is really hitting home, along with the lack of being in school. Steep learning curve! He is on the Oxbridge stream thing at school so is looking at that, otherwise I'm trying to push him into narrowing choices down. He prefers Cambridge to Oxford, wants a campus "probably". Has done the online open days for York (too close to home I think), Lancaster and UEA (and not UAE as I keep calling it by mistake). UEA seems too far away - difficult journey and after this year I don't want him quite that far away in case of issues. He doesn't want a year out so I think going straight from not leaving the house to going away to uni - well, I wouldn't want it to be a 5 hour drive away. Having seen it mentioned on here, I've told him to look at Sussex. He is registered for Durham open day and thanks to whoever posted it (sorry can't remember) but has registered for that Russell Group thingy. I would just like him to narrow his choices down a bit but it's nice to read on here that he isn't the only one faffing about! He has Othello and French assessments tomorrow (Tess was yesterday - on his birthday!) and history were before Xmas - we get grades and parents evening beginning of Feb. Yesterday he had his first Oxbridge Teams school intro and he has another one tonight and then next week. That might make him decide if he wants to pursue that path or not.

He also wants good sports facilities and a swimming team (!) - I'm just worried he is going to go absolutely crazy when he hits uni as he swum for 10 years so no time for anything else and now is sat at home with us pretty much 24/7! Never had a girlfriend or gone anywhere really. Very home-based boy. I think uni years could be interesting.......!

DS is very home based which is why I think he struggled boarding this September and am hoping the university leap won’t be as traumatic.

Friend’s DS doing law at Southampton Estherfrewen and really enjoying it if that helps to know? He wanted easy access to London having just missed UCL offer and that seems to have worked well for him, he is pretty home based too.

Loughborough esther?

Also a bit UEA inaccessible though (but not quite so much!)

Happy belated birthday to your DS Esther! He really isn't the only one here who hasn't been able to make his mind up on potential courses.

Crazy, one of the reasons your DD may not want to engage now is because none of it still feels 'real', without actual visits to unis to get a feel of whether you could fit in or not. Not that I believe an open day does that 100%, but my DD has definitely not wanted to have any deep discussions, but now school is dragging her along, probably because the virtual open days are being released and the extension groups are open this term and pace of learning has moved up substantially.

What is it about the aversion to campus style unis? Another one who's against here, with no real foundation for her bias. They really must pick up vibes from their peers.

Glasgow is definitely a maybe here Proggymat. DD really does like the thought of Scotland. Until I told her of my aspirations to early retire to Edinburgh. One day, she need not panic yet

I think Southampton a bit too far away still. I'm seriously pushing Lancaster - even though it is red rose it isn't massively far from us and looks really nice and small townish. Loughborough he has looked at but he knows a lot who have gone there from swimming over the years and he just doesn't seem keen. I think he thinks they will take their swimming too seriously!!!

I never understand the big thing some people make about campus unis, but I may be misunderstanding. Basically, campus unis have everything in one place, usually just outside a town/city? Is Birmingham a campus uni in that case?

Surely it only really affects your first year? After that, whatever type of uni, you will usually end up living 'out' in the local area (maybe except Oxbridge). So isn't the bigger decision whether you want to live in a large city like Manchester, a smaller town like Loughborough, a historic small city like York etc etc?

@ealingwestmum I agree, it doesn't seem very real when you can't visit.

Also, I just don't think dd feels in the mood for decision making! It took her about six months of going round the houses to decide between 3 sixth forms!

I'm trying to do some of the work ahead of her, so I've made a list of good places for Psychology and Occupational Therapy as those were the two options she was considering. But if she decides to do a History degree we're starting from scratch!

I don’t blame them for being in denial though. After the extended UCAS deadline to 29th this month, the next full cohort intake is....ours!!

That is a good point about campuses Crazycrofter. With Warwick a lot live in Leamington Spa after I think ? I just can’t see DS living in Birmingham, would be much more comfortable in smaller place. We looked at about 7 six forms so think he may still feel a bit burned out from that.

Happy Birthday to your DS Estherlewen, hope he had a good a time as possible.

It does seem quite surreal with virtual open days . Can you imagine us having this discussion a year ago?

UEA has had a few mentions on here. Ds1 is at UEA. It seems to be a good university. But not a Russell group...I know some prefer those. We live in Suffolk so it is our closest too. Ds1 wishes he'd gone further away now...but nothing wrong with the university at all and with covid having him so close has been easier.

I printed out all the course descriptions and redacted the University names with a big black marker and then got DS to read and order them. It made a big difference to his final choice of 5, as it brought home that the courses at his (until then) fave uni were not taught in the way he wanted to study.

@estherfrewen One of my DS's friends is doing Politics, Philosophy and Law at Warwick and loving it.

That's a great idea Kingscote, thank you!

Really good idea @KingscoteStaff. That Warwick course sounds like something DS would be interested in - will mention it, thanks.

He celebrated last night by watching Netflix and eating Colin the Caterpillar....!

Aw, Colin the Caterpillar wins every time (or Wiggles, Morris, Clyde, Curly, Cuthbert, Cecil). Hope he enjoyed his lock-down birthday.

On the University thing, it is good to stay open to the idea of a gap year. What you really don't want them to do is to rush into the wrong degree and waste time and money before they know what interests them. Part of that is due to the range of subjects at University - when I went I studied maths because I was good at it, but should have done engineering or architecture, just didn't think of it. My sister started a maths degree, didn't like it and changed to physchology, her husband started a business degree, didn't like it and dropped out, he should probably have been a physiotherapist. Taking a year or two out is not a big deal in the long run if it helps to find the right path, particularly for current generation who have not had access to some of the stuff the older ones had.

Dd's preference for city centre universities is entirely down to the proximity to shopping malls and cinemas tbh.

She's been prescribed Sertraline today - not sure whether to post a sad or happy face alongside. I'll choose the positive slant and cross my fingers that it might end her agonising anxiety over physically attending school (and engaging more generally with the world).

Colin is a great way to celebrate too - dd is miffed that there is, as yet, no vegan Colin. She has to stick with Percy Pig .

Still think Newcastle can not be beaten as a location. The university is mostly in one place. The city is compact and has all the big shops and entertainment venues you could wish for, and the metro system means you can daytrip to the beach very happily. I love it up there. Also LNER makes it accessible.

Inspired by you all I have just spoken to DS again and he has flip flopped back to being negative about university (which I think is the right decision for him as he cant self motivate at all and doesn't enjoy academic learning). His dad is dead set on him going though.

That is an excellent idea Kingscotestaff

ChristopherTracy that’s difficult if your DH set in him going but at least he has you to fight his corner so to speak.

TheyseeherRowling, that must be difficult but hopefully it will help.

Monekey I am fan of gap years and you are right, they are missing out on a fair bit right now that means for some their horizons are narrower than they might be.

I just tried engaging dd on the subject in the car - no go!

@Zandathepanda we went to Newcastle for the first time in the summer and dh, ds and I absolutely loved it. Dd hated it (we literally spent a few hours there so I've no idea why) and it's now ruled off the list. Useful to rule places out I suppose, but strange!

@TheySeeHerRowling I hope the sertraline helps. My dh has taken it on and off over the years as needed and it's been helpful, alongside other things. Would a city centre university not be a little bit overwhelming for her?

@KingscoteStaff that is an excellent idea, once there is a 'short' list.

@FoolsAssassin Ds's dad isnt DH thank goodness - one of the reasons that DS flip flops between us - so if he spends any amount of time at his dad's then he comes back saying that he should go to uni.

His dad would like him to go to uni to do exactly the same course that he did.

I will have another look at the apprenticeships and the forces engineering jobs.

DS has no idea about what course he would want to do at university. He does seem to want to go. Actually he doesn’t want to do maths, thinks if you do philosophy/ethics/religious studies you’ll get too introspective so I’m hoping he’d like to do something to do with geography....

Also no idea where he’d like to study. We’re in York so would prefer him to go a little distance but maybe not too far. Will interrogate him at some point!

Sorry for jumping to conclusions ChristopherTracy

Someone may have already posted this so apologies if they have but this came up on College feed recently for apprenticeships:

nas.vfairs.com/en/register

crazycrofter I can't imagine her at university at all at the moment, let alone a big city centre type - she has a fantasy image of how she wants her life to be, and she can't let go of it at the moment. But we have time to work on this - I want her to be near home or, failing that, in a city or region where we have family, which covers a lot of the south and west of England.

She's lived all her life in a small town a long way from what she views as 'civilisation' - so she wants bright lights. It's a question of developing the coping skills. Hopefully the sertraline will kick start all that.

Thanks @FoolsAssassin that's really helpful. I keep wanting to type foals instead of fools - don't know what that's about.