Have we got a year 7 support thread this year?

[KangarooLady]

Hi all! DD1 is starting secondary this year! She's very nervous about the travel (train and bus) but definitely looking forward to it . Any other new year 7s?

@daisiesflower mine is the same. Don't worry. In fact I told my daughter that it might take to the end of the academic year to find friends she really likes. It takes a long time to find out who suits you. Of course she had the same situation when she moved up to junior school, and I reminded her of that, and how she made friends so quickly. Maybe you could remind your daughter of an instance where she made friends out of nowhere. That seemed to take the pressure off trying to find friends quickly. She is also continuing with Guides and other clubs, so she will see 'old friends' at other times of the week which should help. Just some ideas!

Also the downside of going to a school with lots of primary friends is that you're not 'pushed' in the same way to look for and make new friends. So in a way those primary friends who are all going to the same school are missing out on the Harry Potter Platform 9 3/4 experience.

What an exciting time for all of them though regardless!!! Hope everyone's DC are settling in and finding their ways around. (Feels like this time will pass soon enough and then they'll just take off and do things on their own...and share less of their worries...)

DS’s school is a Grammar school so I think lots of homework is just the way things are!

We live in the middle of nowhere and he needs to catch the bus into the city but we found out on his first attempt on Friday that the bus doesn’t get there early enough in term time as it gets stuck in the traffic outside another secondary school 🙈 he’s been getting it home this week though it yesterday he pressed the button but the driver drove straight past his stop 😡 he managed to get off at the next stop and find his way home which was really good of him as we haven’t lived here very long.

He also managed to forget his face mask this morning so I gave him a full pack of 4 disposable ones out of the car which he has also managed to lose 🙈 he used his ingenuity though and got one of the free ones from JD. Probably not the most moral thing to do but I’ve spent enough money on him in there lately so I they can owe us one 😂.

Re the PP whose DD doesn't know anyone from primary - sometimes having friends from primary in class isn't all it's cracked up to be. My DD has just started Yr 7 and is in a class with a small group of friends from primary, except over the summer holiday they seem to have bonded more into a clique and somehow DD seems to have become the outsider/underdog of the group They aren't excluding her entirely (ie not physically), but it feels like she's just mostly just being tolerated. On the rare moments they have one-to-one chats things seem OK, but chances for individual moments at school are limited. We used to enjoy walking our dog regularly at the weekends with one of the other friends and their dog, but since their dog died a while ago, that activity doesn't happen obviously. (I feel it would have helped keep that particular friendship going better over the summer).

DD seems not devastated about it all thankfully and seems to be enjoying school nonetheless. I am encouraging her to speak/make friends with other girls in class which she has done but it's early days yet. I'm being really supportive/positive about everything but I feel sad for her that feeling subtly excluded from your own group of primary school friends is not the ideal start. Hoping the situation evolves for the better as time goes on.

Hello all. DD came home today and she started sobbing. She says that the people she made friends with have rejected her for the popular group and she's going around all day with nobody to talk to. I've suggested she tries making friends with people in other forms but she says she only sees them at break and lunch. She can't go to clubs or netball either 😔. I'm sleeping next to her again tonight and I've emailed her form tutor. Hopefully she can find some other girls and boys she can befriend. She is still very emotional so I think it might be a sleepless night. Hopefully I'm wrong!

Ah that’s so tough Kangaroo. Girls can be so shitty to each other sometimes. My dd has a similar problem in year 5 and it’s such a confidence knocker. Hopefully with so many newbies she’ll find her tribe eventually. That doesn’t help in the short term though does it? Not really got any advice but

@QueenMabby, she's had a similar problem at primary but she has one person coming from her old school who was her friend, so she wanted to put it behind her. It turns out that friend is the one who is rejecting her. She is quite loud and determined, my DD is quite shy at first, and she values learning new things and following the rules, which led to her being picked on at primary. I hope she manages to make new friends quickly as she does worry very easily and she can be physically sick if she is very worried or scared. She says there is a group who is very kind and she gets along with them, she says she will try and hang around with them tomorrow. Night all

Sorry to hear that @KangarooLady My year 5 daughter sounds very similar to yours and has a long-term friend trying to isolate her from the group. It's not nice at all - especially when they are friends for so long and then they have no idea what's changed.

Hope she has a better day today and it's a good thing in the long-run; hopefully she'll find some kindred spirits.

@KangarooLady I hope your daughter has a better day today, it is just awful to think of our children feeling rejected. It's definitely early days and there absolutely must be a nicer crowd in her class. I have a slightly different worry in that my DS in Year 7 is very likely to stick with the friends from his primary and make zero effort to get to know anyone else, he has been like that since nursery, once he has one friend that is all he wants or needs and it makes me feel he is missing out as often the one friend does not seem to have a lot in common with him/no natural conversation etc. But what can you do?

@mcmooberry you’ve just described my DS down to a tee too 😂 he’s made 2 friends now and he’s happy with his lot 🙈 he doesn’t feel the need to bother with anyone else.

That's my DS too. He is fiercely loyal, which is lovely, but he has spent the last few days in the library with a particular new friend who has an injury and wants to read at lunch! I've tried to gently say he doesn't have to feel obligated to keep him company so soon, and maybe there's a compromise to be had so that he keeps mixing with other people, but it's also very sweet!

Yes DS is too. He had a massive problem in year 5 and 6 where he’d massively outgrown his best friend but was too loyal to drift away. An admirable quality but DS found the last 2 years of primary school very difficult because he was stick with someone he didn’t actually have anything in common with (at the end of year 5 I heard with my own ears this child trying to convince that the Octonauts were really good. DS thought so too... when he was 4!)

I hope all dds and dss are happy with their first full week back. My DD was so tired. We had a hiccup on Tuesday with her missing the school bus home, and then having to wait on her own at the school gates while dh fought through traffic to collect her. Oh well, its a steep learning curve and I think she'll be fine....

@WeakandWobbly DS’s bus broke down on Friday on the way to school. It was a little stressful...

Hope he was ok lady and that those with wobbly starts are settling in.
Dd had two days off school this week for a bad cold - there were 7 off in her class yesterday! No Covid in our house though although school have had positive cases in two year groups higher up the school.

Has my year 7 zoom induction. There seems to be no info of what is going to happen if/when school closes. No Microsoft teams or zoom is set up for teaching.

Ds2 is extremely happy and thriving. He's got all homework ticked off on Show my homework/Satchell app. He's eaten sausage rolls and Oreos in the canteen. Seen all his mates, been to school football team trials after school.

My only concern is he's been allocated a 'partner' with very special needs. Ds2 is so sweet natured he can easily deal with this, but I am concerned it's asking too much of him?

@Oblomov20 whats the partner for? Like all his lessons? I would see how it goes but I can understand your concern, my DD spent her first few weeks of y3 spelling things out for the boy sitting next to her and not finishing work as a result which wasn't great

DDs been a bit upset last night for the first time since starting. She met up with her 2 closest friends from primary after school who both went elsewhere and one of them seems to have turned into a whole other person. She just wanted to talk about how she's on her 3rd boyfriend since starting already, and repeatedly asked the other 2 how many boyfriends they'd had and patted their arm patronisingly saying "Aaaah, never mind". She also told them she's incredibly popular and lots of children follow her home from school just to spend more time with her despite living miles away, and similar rubbish for the whole time they were out. Her and DD were very close so it's bothered her a lot - she says she feels like her best friend has disappeared and she doesn't like this new person. I've advised her to focus on all her other friends and the new friends shes made and distance herself from this one, but DD is fiercely loyal and hates the idea of dropping her completely - she had been looking forward to this 'reunion' since starting. Have to let her sort it out herself but it really seemed to have knocked her last night and I feel really sad for her

That’s a shame shiny. Maybe DD’s friend is worried that dd is moving away and that’s how she reacts to those feelings? I know that there are all kinds of random friendship groups happening in DD’s school. Friends who have been joined at the hip for years drifting apart and people who just haven’t really got to know each other in primary really getting on! It’s an odd time for friendships at the best of times and made even weirder by the Covid situation.
I hope your dd wasn’t too upset.

Thanks @QueenMabby the girl who's being weird has gone to a different high school to all her primary friends so I think it may stem from jealousy and insecurity that most of her old friends are still together, I've told DD not to take it to heart. She seems OK, was bringing a different friend home for tea every night but now we're in local lockdown so thats the end of that!

Hope everyone else is getting on okay

We’re in local lockdown too Shiny. Such a pain.
The children are all mixed up in their form at DD’s school and the girl my dd is sat next to keeps moving to go and sit next to a girl she was at primary with leaving my dd sat by herself! Dd doesn’t seem overly bothered but my mum heart is 😭

Oh that would upset me so much too! Hope she's okay.

I think she’s ok shiny. She says she’d rather work by herself and I don’t think that’s bravado but still...
How’s your dd getting on?

Shes fine, came home buzzing with excitement because there was a huge fight at break and loads of people are in big trouble... clearly social distancing going well there

Lol! My dd also gone in this morning in high spirits. Drama club today and they’re planning a murder mystery!