Experienced secondary parents - help please!

[seeker]

DD has just started year 7. She has gone from a very sport oriented primary school where they the were chased out to play every lunch time unless it was actually pouring down to a secondary school where they only seem to have three games periods a fortnight and they can stay in the library all lunch time if they want to. DD is sporty, but it's hard to say to more sedentary friends "come on let's go outside" and anyway, she's enjoying the grown up feeling of being free to do what she wants at lunchtime. She is also having school dinners for the first time - they are good meals, but there is always a pudding, and there is hot chocolate and muffins to buy at break too! I always do a a proper dinner in the evening - sometimes with a pudding as well, which was fine when she was having my ridiculously healthy packed lunches, but less so now. Did you all find that food consumption went up and exercise went down when your dcs went to secondary school - and what did you do about it? Should I just give her less money? I would feel bad doing that...

yep and ds1 put on a bit of weight despite walking 4 miles a day and going to a sports specialist college (he is not a sports specialist but has always typically been in good shape)
he also plays tennis 2-3 x a week.
But they always buy crap with their money...
so now if I'm cooking a decent dinner he gets a packed lunch
if light dinner he can have cooked lunch at school.

Not had this with DS1 - his secondary school is quite sports-orientated (and he is) and he takes packed lunches (whereas he had school dinners in primary).

She doesn't have to have the hot chocolate and muffins at breaktime. I'd talk to her about dropping them, and the pudding isn't necessary either really. Perhaps you can drop the pudding in the evening, or choose some lighter puddings instead?

Talk to her about the difference in food/exercise in the two schools, and suggest ways she can up her exercise levels away from school if she can't find a way in school.

Don't worry too much. The girls at secondary school "don't go out to play" they text etc!!

However, my DD was not at all sporty until she started secondary. About now they will be offering clubs (lunchtime & after school) which ARE socially acceptable to join. Netball, Basketball, Tennis, Badminton, Cross country etc.

Mine also got fed up of school dinners & went back to sandwiches. She got into being very health aware/calories/sugar content etc which you have to watch but does help.

The only thing I am disappointed about in the school is the sport. It's very successful locally in sports competitions and so on but I don't see how when they seem to do so little. Yes, I will talk to her about the things she buys, but I am a bit reluctant to do so, because I don't want to make an issue of it -and she is SO enjoying being grown up and buying her lunch. Maybe that will wear off! I don't want to change what they eat at home because ds is still subject to the draconian seeker lunch box regime, and deserves his occasional syrup sponge and custard!

I've been having this with my DD too. Her school sells food at break time, she has taken a particular fancy to the warm bread rolls and butter (for which they are charged 10 p for the butter alone!) I've been a bit concerned about it too, she's slightly on the chubby side and I certainly don't want her getting bigger. Not only that, it's costing a flipping fortune with bus fares, lunch money etc. I have stocked up on Special K bars for her to tske for break, and this morning she took grapes. On the exercise side, they do gym once a week, swimming once a week and hockey once a week, so not too bad. I suggested to her why doesn't she get the bus to school so she's there on time, but walk home? She won't hear of walking though, it's about 2 miles, and her bag is always so heavy and some days she has games kit or violin to carry too.

It happened to my nephew. But to be fair he was a bit large to start with an not at all interested in sport. They bought a card for him to pay for the healthy options at school (not quite sure how that works) but he was spending his pocket money on pizza on the way home . So he did get very big.

I'm hoping my DS (who has a tendency to eat for a much larger person ) will work off a bit walking or cycling there each day. And thankfully it is a sporty school.

Can she do after-school sports ? either at the school or other clubs? Can she walk to school with friends? Or could you simply offer her a small evening meal rather than a big cooked one?

Sorry - obviously I am not an expereinced secondary school parent

Or non-experienced secondary school parents - didn't mean it to be an exclusive thread!

dd and I talked about it today and we agreed that she would take some fruit in for break, have packed lunches two days a week and that I would tell her when there was going to be a pudding for dinner so that she wouldn't have one at lunch as well. She's also going to find a sporty lunchtime club to join - she does dance and choir already so she can fit in another one. Fortunately there's no opportunity to buy stuff on the way home, so I don't have to deal with that one! I also think I've been doing too many treats - I miss her now she's at secondary school, so I have baked a cake or two........!

I refused to let my dss have burgers and pizzas every day at school, so they took healthy sandwiches for packed lunches. they were happy to do that as the queues for the cafeteria were so long.

We do fruit for puddings at home.

In the school I teach in which is huge, this is normal for secondary school. There has been a big push on food in secondary schools, the last few years, and it is staged This year, cookies have gone for ever, flapjack and shortbread served at lunchtime only. Healthy main course served and promoted all over dining room (eg buy one healthy option, get one free). Chips available once a week only

Last year, buns, cookies were available, but not crisps.

Year before, everything available (although not fizzy drinks)

However I have been teaching a fair bit of time. 6 years ago we had a chocolate vending machine AND a tuckshop!

Have to say, though....in the first week back the only drink available was bottled water (due to late delivery of juice etc), and suddenly loads of bread rolls appeared as a replacement for cookies etc.

The kids were moaning, they were only being allowed bread and water

I don't have a problem with the food that's served - it sounds like a good healthy substantial lunch for a growing child. And they don't have an option to refuse vegetables - the dinner comes plated with three different vegetables. It's just that dd isn't used to having a substantial meal at lunch time -our "big" meal has always been dinner. And I don't think it's good that she eats two main meals in a day! There's no burger or pizza on offer, and only water, juice, milk or fruit smoothies to drink. It's a matter of getting a balance, I think, and how best to help her do that.

And I'm still bothered about the exercise thing!

She will probably grow out of it. My dd1 is now 15 and in year 7 she was so excited to go to the newsagent and buy chocs on the way home, she scoffed hash browns at every opportunity at school and also guzzled lots of thick shakes at lunch.

She is now 15 and takes sandwiches to school. She has 3 pieces of fruit and a wholemeal sandwich. She won't drink pop of any description and only drinks water. I don't know what happened to my chocolate/hash brown loving 11 year old, but things definitely change. I can't speak for boys, but I think girls become quite health and diet conscious. I am always concerned that she eats enough now, not the other way round!

(My year 8 child, however, is still in the eat, eat, eat phase - but I think they have stopped the hash browns, etc, so she is feeling a bit underprivileged at the moment. I live in hope!)

i am sure she will grow out of it and tbh - the only weight related issue my dd has had since starting at the grammar school is silly talk about being too fat which annoys me

my kids eat like grown men and look unhealthily thin...