School says my son must cut his hair or be excluded

[alexis52]

I have 2 children 1boy aged11 1 girl aged 14. They both go to that same school but recently they have a new head master who changed some of the uniform policy's. to begin with they were good changes like skirts can't be shorter than the knee and ties had to come down to the stomach but then he changed the hair policies. This did not effect my daughter because she fell into all the categories but it did effect my son. His hair is about an inch or so past his shoulder, the head said that boys hair must not come over The colour and I got an email telling me to cut his hair. I have refused to cut his hair and long hair doesn't effect his work because he ties it up for certain classes like PE and cookery and doesn't play with it. The school have now threatened that if I don't cut his hair soon he will be excluded .

I think the 60s and 70s had so many men and boys with long hair it was very different from today where it’s clearly a minority. I think we do live in times where we think everything should be equal between the sexes but schools can write their own policies on appearance and uniform. They should consult though. This is possibly where the new Head has gone wrong but who is to say that the majority don’t agree with the policy?

As I said, it could be taken to court. It’s a grey area, particularly with regard to punishment and continuing punishment for non compliance. All well and good if you have the stamina for all of this angst.

PR47bridge: if you read my whole post you would have seen that my comment was to a poster. I do fully understand the legal position.

@BubblesBuddy - apologies. My fault for skim reading.

Just read the first few posts on page 1 as couldn't be bothered with such nonsense except to say, OP, get a grip - which is more important; your son's hair or his education? I'll tell you what I would do, I'll personally shave my son's head to a shiny scalp if that's what I have to do! Seriously, I don't think my son had ever visited a professional barber until his early teens - he didn't need one; I was the one and only barber that he'd ever needed.

I think lots of parents do believe their DC should do exactly as they want and support their “right” to do do. Schools are continually challenged by parents who want to take a different path from the school rules.

I do recognise I was flippant about saying go to another school but sometimes parents do have this option. The DS’s hair isn’t that long so a couple of inches off might be all that’s needed.

And my daughter can do her own hair. I have to do my sons because he has dyspraxia and dyslexia so he finds it hard doing things like putting his hair in a ponytail

Dyslexia has bugger all to do with putting your hair up!
I would say that if he has dyspraxia and is unable to put his own hair up as a result then he should accept that he needs to keep it short. The school isn't being discriminatory if the rule is that all pupils must tie their hair up if it over a certain length. Neither is it being discriminatory because of his dyspraxia, as there is a suitable alternative to having long hair for all pupils. Cut it short.
However, if the rule is only boys must have short hair then it is discriminatory.

Schools are continually challenged by parents who want to take a different path from the school rules.

And so they should when the 'rules' are arbitrary, stupid or just plain discriminatory. If you want your kids to grown up to be docile, obedient, corporate worker drones then fine, snap your heels, throw a crisp salute, and stand to attention every time someone with an "I'm the Boss" hat tells you to. And bring your kids up to do the same.

Personally I want my kids to grow up knowing that, just because someone in authority tell them to do something it doesn't mean that it is the right thing to do - and if they do think it is wrong, they should question it.

History is full of heroes who said, "fuck this for a game of soldiers this is WRONG!" and then did something about it. Not saying the battle of OP's hair ranks alongside Gandhi, the anti-apartheid movement, the suffragettes etc. etc. But discrimination like that is wrong no matter how petty it may seem.

Many DCs challenge but in a thoughtful and non confrontational way. Questioning something politely is one thing, demanding change is another. Yes, the school can legally set appearance rules. I have said I think there should have been consultation. Also what one child/parent is angry about might be perfectly agreeable to 10 others. Challenging and asking questions is fine, assuming everyone agrees with you isn’t fine. It is not discriminatory to treat boys and girls differently in terms of appearance at school. It would be discriminatory to offer them a different curriculum based on sex. In addition schools must respect cultural differences when writing appearance policies. Long hair for most boys in most schools doesn’t fit into this category.

Long hair for boys has been a thing since the 60s. That’s over 50 years. Challenging had not got anyone anywhere much on that one. It’s too trivial. Hardly apartheid, independence or votes for women in importance. Choose your battles!

‘Choose your battles’ hahahaha!
In the face of schools that choose to battle over the most ridiculous details of uniform!

This hair thing just makes the school look stupid.

And as for this tiny minority of men with long hair..... have you really not encountered the man bun?

Peteneras: of course parents realise how important education is. How much random crap do they have to put up with from schools without politely pointing up that it is arbitrary nonsense?

he school isn't being discriminatory if the rule is that all pupils must tie their hair up if it over a certain length. Neither is it being discriminatory because of his dyspraxia, as there is a suitable alternative to having long hair for all pupils.

But this school has said that OP's son must get his hair cut despite the fact that he has been tying it up.

The fact that there is an alternative to long hair doesn't mean that the school cannot be discriminating on the basis of dyspraxia. If a child is prevented from having a certain length of hair purely because he is disabled and unable to tie it back, that is obvious discrimination as there is a very simply reasonable adjustment available in the shape of helping him.

It is not discriminatory to treat boys and girls differently in terms of appearance at school.

Yes it is!

Discriminating means 'treating a person or particular group of people differently'. If you say "treat boys and girls differently" that is discriminating between boys and girls. Boys will be treated one way girls will be treated another.

Discrimination, pure and simple.

Look, those are the rules, just cut the damn hair!

FrankieManca, never heard of this thing called, "discipline"? You join a community, a club, a school, an organisation, anything; each have their own rules, you don't like it, leave it. What's the problem?

And random crap, you say? I say, if you don't like it, go somewhere else you like that will take you. The school in this OP has clearly said the same thing.

FrankieManca, never heard of this thing called, "discipline"? You join a community, a club, a school, an organisation, anything; each have their own rules, you don't like it, leave it. What's the problem?

So if a headmaster decides all the girls in his school have to wear miniskirts, suspenders with stockings and wear their hair in pigtails it's suck it up and OBEY THE RULES?

Bullshit.

I agree with Frankie. You can't make any old rules up that you like. Particularly if one of those rules is discriminatory. 'You can't have long hair because you have a penis'- how bizarre. Not permitted in this day and age under equality legislation. The head doesn't have a leg to stand on. He's saying one sex cannot have a privilege afforded to another purely on the basis of their sex. It's the definition of discrimination.

Why can't he wear it tied back every day? If he can't, then cut it. Those are the rules.

Look, those are the rules, just cut the damn hair!

So what about the Equality Act 2010? Aren't those the rules? And don't the laws of the country outweigh rules some random headteacher decides to impose?

Why can't he wear it tied back every day? If he can't, then cut it. Those are the rules.

No, they aren't. Apparently the head wants OP's son to have his hair cut and tying it back won't do - even though it's OK for girls. Discriminatory rules are unlawful.

If you feel this strongly why not move him to a different school

Can someone who thinks this rule is absolutely fine, explain why the feel that way? Why should boys have to keep their haor shorter than girls?

Discriminating means 'treating a person or particular group of people differently'

No it doesn't, at least, not as far as the law is concerned. It means treating a person or a particular group of people less favourably than others. Treating some people differently is not automatically discrimination.

No, they aren't. Apparently the head wants OP's son to have his hair cut and tying it back won't do - even though it's OK for girls. Discriminatory rules are unlawful

You are again assuming the courts would rule that this is unlawful. You may be right but, until they do, no-one can say for certain that this rule is unlawful and nor can anyone say definitively that these are not the rules.

What does the duty to make ‘reasonable adjustments’ for disabled people involve?
Education providers have a duty to make ‘reasonable adjustments’ to make sure that disabled students are not discriminated against. This duty is triggered in circumstances where a disabled person is placed at a substantial disadvantage in comparison to persons who are not disabled.
The substantial disadvantage must arise from:
a provision, criterion or practice (PCP) – for example, a disabled pupil requires medication related to their condition but there is a school policy which states that no drugs are permitted on the premises;
a physical feature – for example, where access to important facilities in the school, such as disabled toilets, is not accessible to wheelchair bound pupils.
(Note: It can be very difficult to argue that a physical alteration to the building is a reasonable adjustment as it may not be cost-effective for the school to do so).
the lack of an auxiliary aid.

@JudyCoolibar
The above extract is taken from childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/disability-discrimination-in-education/
I completeły agree that having different rules regarding hair length for boys / girls is wrong. however, it isn't discriminatory to expect all students to comply with a particular rule regarding hair length. The reasonable adjustment here would be that there is a choice; long hair tied back, or short hair. This applies to everyone. Being unable to tie your own hair back and therefore being expected to have it cut shorter does not put a student at a 'substantial disadvantage'. Therefore a reasonable adjustment does not need to be made. I can just picture the scene in a changing room where a teenage boy has to let an adult member of staff put his hair up for him before PE. Now that's just humiliating. The fact is, one could argue that allowing students to have long hair untied in certain lessons is a health and safety risk.

Just to add, even if the courts were to decide that this rule is treating boys less favourably, it is still possible that the school may be able to argue that it is a proportionate means of achieving a legitimate aim, e.g. stopping boys from using hairstyles to identify as members of particular local gangs. If the courts agree the rule stands.

If the OP wants to challenge this she can take the school to court and see what they decide. That is the right way to challenge this rule. Defying the school will simply end up with her son being permanently excluded. Whilst that may lead to a bigger payout in court, would that really compensate for the disruption to her son's education?

Disagree with the 'cut his hair' comments.

However, he should tie it up. This should apply to girls to of course.
I'm sick of the number of children (secondary) constantly flicking hair out of their eyes, messing with it, letting it hang all over the place.

Many many jobs require hair to be tied up. It's compulsory and a good habit to get into for the future.