My 13 yr old son, excluded permanently for having cannabis at school

[NickiBH]

Can anyone offer me any remotely positive advice please? My sons school called me in today, he has been found with a very small amount of cannabis at school and excluded. He was given it (for free) from another student. The school have said it is 99.9% sure that he will be excluded permanently and that no other school will take him on, as they all have a zero tolerance approach to drugs. They did however ask him for as much info as possible about the other child. My son was very honest and told them that he had smoked it quite a few times outside of school with 2 friends who attend another school, one of which has contact with a dealer. The boy in his school and him have had a few conversations about weed, and today he apparently called my son over and gave him this free (Tiny) bag. The school have told me that there is a massive drug problem locally and that dealers are often recruited this way, with freebies which will have to be paid back somehow later on. This boy has also told my son that he grows it at home...I can only assume he means his parents?? .... and that he gets £5000 a shipment and makes a lot for himself. Anyway, it seems that this boy may well get to stay in school, as he is saying he found the weed on the street, but my son’s only option is now a CSS unit with other excluded kids and limited GCSE options.
Needless to say, I am absolutely devastated. I didn’t realise this was happening and feel like a complete failure as a Mum. I just feel like he has now blown so much opportunity for the future over one stupid thing.
The school have said I will have the right to appeal, but that this will most likely come to nothing.
Does anyone know anything that may help me?

I am so glad this worked out relatively well for your DS. I am sure that is due to the questions you asked etc, and that without your interventions a permanent exclusion would have resulted. But now that the dust has settled you still need to get to the bottom of why your DS accepted a 'gift' of drugs worth £20 while at school. Did he want the drugs that much? Was he coerced and if so how? etc etc Any 13 year old with a modicum of intelligence knows that drugs in school are an absolute no-no. And any 13 year old with a modicum of intelligence knows that no-one gives anyone £20 worth of drugs for no reason.

Yes, exactly as that - fixed term exclusion to work from home with provided work, then return to school isolation unit for 6 weeks, which may be at another school depending on available space, or at his normal school with a later school start and finish time, indeed to prevent him mixing with other students. And then gradual return to normal - all being well.

This still stinks of illegality. There are rules on the use of isolation units which too many schools ignore, and six weeks in one sounds like a major breach of those rules. Further, unless he is being taught the full curriculum by qualified teachers whilst in those units, that's another breach of the law. He is supposed to receive full time education, so the later start time is law breach no. 3. Repeatedly breaking the law sets an appalling example to the students.

Good schools can and do manage a pupil's return to the classroom after a fixed term exclusion perfectly well without this sort of overkill.

I'm so pleased they've done this, lesson learnt and no long term harm,

Just for some perspective - my son is 13 and never seen cannabis let alone smoked it. I'm sorry this has happened but maybe its a chance for him to get away from some children influencing him and have a fresh start. I doubt that his education is ruined over one thing but hope all goes well.

Itcakes, unless you live in a bubble, that is incredibly naive bollocks,

That's great news OP

@RockinHippy it’s not necessarily naive: plenty of children this age won’t have come into contact with drugs.

ittakes2 - before you pat yourself on the back, consider what you might have done in this situation. My children are now adult, but I am sure there were things they got up to that I was not aware of.

I would ditch the complacency and thank your lucky stars that such challenges have not come your way......yet.

Agree with Parsimon. Drugs not a thing amongst DS friends at 13. At 13 it was one or two drinking. At 14 vaping. Drugs started after that & it's not the majority still at 15. I think mainly because his group are all sporty & know they'd be kicked out of teams as well as school.

My son (14) Is a geeky kid at a leafy comp (not in the cool crowd) and says lots of his peers have done drugs, and that parents on the whole are unbelievably naive

One of his friends was being groomed by a gang to sell drugs, nice middle class kid, got caught by police, luckily. They interviewed him for 3 hours.

My DC (both are teens) say parents in general are completely out of touch. Until the shit hits the fan....

I was shocked /naive too!

Another school will take him in generally. Its unlikely they won't.

Similar happened to a girl we knew, though she was older - 16 and in sixth form. She brought cannabis into school and gave some to a younger pupil (year 10 or 11) - I don't think money changed hands.

She was permanently excluded from her school, but a week or so later turned up at a different local school in their sixth form to continue her studies.

Your son does need to understand that this exclusion will stay on his school record and so for instance if he is applying for university the exclusion will have to be revealed. So there may be some long-term impact in the future

I don't think that's true. My son had a day's exclusion for a different reason in Y7 and we were told at the time that if he kept his nose clean for the rest of school (he did) there would be no repercussions when it came to applying for sixth form college.

I think exclusion is over the top. They have a no tolerance for drugs and know kids can get messed up in the dealing side of it so there solution is to exclude and give him no chance for education.. okay then. Why not have a proper discussion etc and give him another chance if he fucks up again then they can exclude. My personal opinion is it’s weed, it’s not the worse thing going and it’s silly to be so harsh in regards to it.

If he should not be excluded for procession what would you exclude for?

Possession even

My school would not permanently exclude for possession. It would be fixed term. Permanent exclusion for dealing drugs in school. Previous schools same. Great result in my opinion although I think the initial reaction of school was OTT.

RockinHippy and Mishappening - I am not naive or patting myself on the back. I was drinking alcohol and smoking cannabis in school at a very young age myself which is why I know the signs - just because you think your children are doing this does not mean every child is - it is not possible to generalise.

This boy has a fixed term exclusion and a period of isolation before reintegration! He has not been permanently excluded! Read the latest update!

Many schools do not permanently exclude for possession. Obviously this school warned the Head could exclude permanently (not sure who gave the warning) but appears to have gathered evidence and looked at their policies regarding behaviour and sanctions and have formally said its fixed term. Therefore they are going to give DS another chance and this fixed term exclusion should not go on his university or any other reference if there are no further instances.

Bubbles. I disagree with you. A fixed term exclusion letter will be part of his pupil record. The UCAS application form has a specific question about disclosing any criminal conviction. Whilst in this case there is no criminal conviction when the school reference is written the staff have to be truthful and it is difficult to see how a fixed term exclusion can be completely ignored.

Hi @NickiBH - I read your thread when you posted and came back to add this (non clicky) link I came across tonight regarding Kieran Hayward. It's painful to read (aside from it being in the DM).
Sorry I've got no advice for you but your thread has been eye opening for me.
I really hope things work out for you and your son

mol.im/a/7653223

I haven't kept up, but how on earth will a brief fixed term exclusion affect his UCAS application? Unless I've read wrong Op's DS hasn't even done his GCSE's let alone his A-levels where he can transfer to a different sixth form or college. Having filled in UCAS applications on behalf of students several times there is nowhere where I would include a brief period of exclusion. Why would any teacher or school do that to one of their pupils? It's ultimately not in their best interests.

What imaginary school record are you all going on about. When you apply to sixth form or UCAS you provide your results and a reference. There is often a part asking if you've been permanently excluded but it doesn't have much weight especially when it wasn't recent and you have a good reference.

And this boy is 13 and on a fixed term exclusion! Stop scaremongering this poor mother that's had plenty on her plate already.