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My 13 yr old son, excluded permanently for having cannabis at school

147 replies

NickiBH · 17/10/2019 21:06

Can anyone offer me any remotely positive advice please? My sons school called me in today, he has been found with a very small amount of cannabis at school and excluded. He was given it (for free) from another student. The school have said it is 99.9% sure that he will be excluded permanently and that no other school will take him on, as they all have a zero tolerance approach to drugs. They did however ask him for as much info as possible about the other child. My son was very honest and told them that he had smoked it quite a few times outside of school with 2 friends who attend another school, one of which has contact with a dealer. The boy in his school and him have had a few conversations about weed, and today he apparently called my son over and gave him this free (Tiny) bag. The school have told me that there is a massive drug problem locally and that dealers are often recruited this way, with freebies which will have to be paid back somehow later on. This boy has also told my son that he grows it at home...I can only assume he means his parents?? .... and that he gets £5000 a shipment and makes a lot for himself. Anyway, it seems that this boy may well get to stay in school, as he is saying he found the weed on the street, but my son’s only option is now a CSS unit with other excluded kids and limited GCSE options.
Needless to say, I am absolutely devastated. I didn’t realise this was happening and feel like a complete failure as a Mum. I just feel like he has now blown so much opportunity for the future over one stupid thing.
The school have said I will have the right to appeal, but that this will most likely come to nothing.
Does anyone know anything that may help me?

OP posts:
NickiBH · 17/10/2019 22:26

Thanks, I will look in to this now. The school have said that the confiscated drug will be given to the police, I will chase this up tomorrow too.
I was only told to await official notice that they are requesting permanent exclusion and then I will have the right to appeal. I left feeling like there was nothing I could do, hence posting on her and searching for advice.

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LolaSmiles · 17/10/2019 22:28

Yes you're naïve, but that's not said Inna negative or judgemental way.

I wouldn't expect many people who work outside of education and children's services or police to be aware of it actually. Some of my colleagues were surprised when we did our training.

The proximity to London in your situation makes it all the more pressing.

In terms of where to do from now, the following would be in my mind:

  • I'd be still looking at getting contact with a local drug charity for support. It's not normal to be trying drugs at 13 at all. Even in areas with county lines, most teens will have zero contact with drugs at that age (and most will never try any).
  • going to a PRU isn't the end of the world and they can do a lot of pastoral work for at risk teens, which your child is at the moment. The downside is they don't always get the full set of GCSEs depending on the PRU.
  • A managed move only happens if another school will agree to take the student on a trial run. If there's county lines in your area then a receiving school will probably be highly reluctant to take a student with a drugs record in school.

It sounds like your son is probably a nice lad with good prospects but he's still an at risk young person as most teens wouldn't be in this position. It's a very complex situation and one that needs sensitive handling on all sides to keep him and others safe.

P.s. Ask him if he is aware of any of his friends having a second mobile. They're usually cheap pay as you go phones and that's how the deals are arranged. If he's aware of that then that information must go to the school.

NickiBH · 17/10/2019 22:29

I have reinforced the fact of his bad decisions, and yes, I was unaware that he was friends with drug dealers. I know several of his friends and their parents, but didn’t know these boys.

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ChickenyChick · 17/10/2019 22:31

Yes, keep a dialogue going with the school

And your DS needs different friends (!) so a move might be a good idea. He also needs to understand this was not one small mistake, but a pattern if bad decisions (smoking weed, befriending dealers, taking weed into school), it was not just “one small mistake ”.

There is a real problem with 13yr olds and weed, in our area, lots of parents are oblivious

NickiBH · 17/10/2019 22:31

Thank you very much. I will take this all onboard.

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noblegiraffe · 17/10/2019 22:35

I agree it sounds like your DS is being groomed and a permanent exclusion for him would be not taking into account the bigger picture.

If he doesn’t get permanently excluded you should consider moving him to a different school anyway now you know he is a target of some very unpleasant people.

PoppiesarelethaltoSpellmans · 17/10/2019 22:35

Another one who thinks the post screams "County lines"

He is being very naive. He needs to step away from any of these people he's associating with. Kicked out of school + County lines affiliation = a very bad time for your kid.

I hope he doesn't get permanently excluded and I seriously hope he gets away from whoever is providing him with drugs.

He's 13 ffs, he's still a baby. It breaks my heart.

cabbageking · 17/10/2019 22:40

I am assuming the Police were called and he provided them with details they can follow up.

NickiBH · 17/10/2019 22:44

I have been told to expect to hear from the police but will be calling them too. He will not be associating with any of the same friends for definite.
These posts have been such an eye opener, thanks to everyone trying to help.

OP posts:
GovernorGal · 17/10/2019 22:48

Hi OP, I work in exclusions as part of my job so might be able to give you some helpful practical advice.

Lots of schools do have ‘zero tolerance’ to drugs in their behaviour policies but there is DfE guidance on drugs DfE drugs advice that states that “exclusion should not be the automatic response to a drug incident”

I’ve clerked two panels recently where governors overturned PX for drug possession for pupils with no prior history of poor behaviour. The PX were overturned essentially because the school had gone ‘drugs = automatic exclusion’ and hadn’t considered any alternatives such as a managed move, and the school hadn’t provided sufficient evidence to show that the detriment to the pupil in being excluded outweighed the detriment to the school community in said child being reinstated. That’s vastly simplifying it but gives you the general gist.

I’d suggest talking to school and asking them for a managed move. If your son keeps his head down, behaves at the new school the managed move can become permanent. Schools often work together in geographical areas and have sharing panels where schools in that area organise managed moves between themselves. This might limit the number of potential schools available but is probably the best chance of securing a managed move.

If a managed move is not possible and the case goes to PX there will be a governor review meeting / hearing. You should attend this with your son and give as much information as you can in support of your son. It can sometimes be very helpful if governors see genuine remorse from the pupil. It can also be helpful if governors see your acknowledgment of the severity of your son’s behaviour.

At the meeting you will be able to ask questions of the school. Some things I would consider asking:

Why was a MM not considered (if they point blank refused one and went straight to PX)?
Why was permanent exclusion considered the most appropriate sanction and why does the school have a zero tolerance to drugs policy when DfE advice is not to automatically exclude for drugs incidents?
What advice and information has the school previously given to pupils on the dangers of illegal drugs?
Where / Who could my son have turned to if he had wanted to own up to having drugs in school? How is this communicated to pupils, ought my son to have reasonably known this?

It might be that the school an provide perfectly reasonable and justifiable answers but they might not. And even if they do it will help governors to consider whether the school might have been a bit ‘trigger happy’ in going straight to PX which is probably your best chance of getting the PX overturned.

The DfE exclusions guidance is also well worth reading.

purplepalace · 17/10/2019 22:48

This thread is an eye opener for many of us. He is still young OP so will not be deeply involved in anything yet.

NickiBH · 17/10/2019 22:56

Thank you @GovernorGal. One of the first things I said at today’s meeting was couldn’t he go to another school, but was told no, other schools will not accept him. I will call and discuss this further with them tomorrow. Otherwise, I will follow your advice to try and get the px overturned, and then look for a new school. Thanks so much.

OP posts:
NickiBH · 17/10/2019 22:59

@purplepalace I really hope this involvement ends today and have made this very clear to my son too. Thanks for your comments.

OP posts:
Bluerussian · 17/10/2019 23:02

Well, my son and friends smoked weed at 14 (I don't know about 13), they didn't get caught except by me, I confiscated and disposed of it but of course they did it again. They often drank too. They grew up and stopped, all pillars of society now. I'm sure the school would have kicked them out had they known although one boy, who smoked and drank regularly, was the son of one of the senior masters who managed to shield him from a lot of trouble at times. He's OK now though.

Might be worth mentioning that the gorgeous actor, Laurence Fox (Hathaway in Lewis) was kicked out of Harrow for dope smoking, they let him back to do exams. He says he spent a year smoking it and doing not much else, mooching around, then got his act together and went to RADA.

The education authority cannot turn their back on your son, they'll find something for a while and then maybe let him back in the school again.
It's hard for parents when their children are in trouble but this doesn't mean he is a bad boy, he is young and made an error of judgement. Who didn't at his age?

All the best, Flowers

LolaSmiles · 17/10/2019 23:06

One of the first things I said at today’s meeting was couldn’t he go to another school, but was told no, other schools will not accept him.
Definitely look at GovernorGal's excellent advice.
It may be that school have already sought a managed move and no school has agreed, hence them being at this point.

I hope it works out for you OP

GovernorGal · 17/10/2019 23:11

Agree with Lola it may be that the school have tried to get a MM but not been successful. If that was the case I’d expect to see written evidence of that in the paperwork which sets out the school’s case for exclusion and which you’ll get about a week before the governor review meeting. If there isn’t any evidence of them even trying then definitely probe them on that. I hope things work out for your son.

NickiBH · 17/10/2019 23:30

Thank you @LolaSmiles too and @Bluerussian that does make me feel a bit better

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prh47bridge · 17/10/2019 23:31

and that no other school will take him on

This is simply not true. The LA must find a place for him somewhere even if they have to invoke their Fair Access Protocol to do so. It may be that he will go to a PRU in the short term if he is permanently excluded but he should be returned to mainstream school as soon as possible.

Rivkka · 17/10/2019 23:41

How did the school find it?

Also if he can get a MM that might be a good thing. Especially if there might be repercussions for telling where he got it. If it's county lines stuff it is not to be taken lightly.

I know lots of teens who have smoked weed at a young age and who have grown up, got jobs and are responsible members of the community.

Good luck to you both.

CatherineOfAragonsPrayerBook · 18/10/2019 02:13

No advice really, just to say I'm sorry you're going through this, you must be very worried and concerned for your ds' future, and he must be very anxious. I sincerely hope he doesn't end up in the CRU. You ought to do everything you can to avoid that outcome for him. Although its not common for young children to take drugs, neither should his entire future be affected for a one time fuck up. However I would crack down and start vetting his friendships.

Hope the situation is resolved in a positive way and best of luck to you bothFlowers

Oblomov19 · 18/10/2019 02:49

I feel sorry for you. I've had similar happen, but more minor.

A big group, one had some stuff, but all the others were implicated. Some got off Scott free and others who had done practically nothing where treated harshly.

You have to know your stuff and fight hard. Which I did. In the end only one boy was excluded. Good luck!

C0ldtea · 18/10/2019 06:22

Can’t help thinking your son op has been let down. If school knew there was a problem then surely he hasn’t been protected. I think him ending up in a unit is surely going to make the issue worse ie shove him in an environment more likely to involve children involved with drugs.Confused

LolaSmiles · 18/10/2019 07:18

If school knew there was a problem then surely he hasn’t been protected
Can you explain to me how schools are meant to police and monitor every friendship and every interaction between every students when they've got 1000-2000 students in their cohort, and each of those students has a network of friends out of schools across the local area, and friends in different areas, and most have social media and phones etc?

I'm intrigued. There's a lot in this very sensitive situation and it's really not helpful to start blaming the school for not being able to control and monitor thousands of students and their actions and movements.

pinkprosseco · 18/10/2019 07:36

Thanks No real advice op but others have made some helpful points. You obviously care a lot about your son and I'm sure you will both get through this. Good luck.

malteasergeezer · 18/10/2019 07:42

This screamed 'county lines grooming' at me too.

OP you need to get your ds to understand that he is in a very dangerous position. Getting involved in gang dealing will either lead to prison or death. I'm sorry, and I don't mean to shock you - but it's the truth. Sad.

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