Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Eton, Harrow, Winchester, or Westminster?

272 replies

MECC · 09/07/2019 20:06

So our son is in prep school, and it's around the time that we begin considering which schools he should apply for.
His marks are very good and he enjoys reading. He is apathetic to sport, so we think an unashamedly academic school may be good for him. That's why we initally thought Eton and Harrow were probably not good choices, although we don't want to completely rule them out.
The issue with Westminster is that os only boards during weekends. It is also partially coeducational, and we want our son to have an all-male education.

OP posts:
TheBigBallOfOil · 11/07/2019 21:36

I’m not dishonest but neither am I silly. You are prepared to generalise about thousands of people on the basis of a few you dislike. That is not a position anyone is obliged to take seriously.

howwudufeel · 11/07/2019 21:41

They are the most prominent Etonians of recent years. Why are we not allowed to comment on them?

marytuda · 11/07/2019 21:44

Yeah . . . . It's not just, you know, any two random blokes off the street we're talking about here, BigBall . . .

marytuda · 11/07/2019 21:46

. . They have been, y'know, kinda influential on us all, in general terms, for better or worse . . I mean for worse, much worse . . . And they are not through with us yet!

Spinnaret · 11/07/2019 21:50

@ArtichokeAardvark Lastly, ignore the idiot PPs berating single sex education. He isn't necessarily going to turn out gay or socially inept. Both my brother and I went to single sex schools.

Clearly, it did nothing for your comprehension skills. OP had stated that co-ed was bad because girls were a distraction. The joke is that he might be gay, so boys will be far more interesting to him. I went to a single sex school, as did my brothers, and my son is also about to. I give no fucks if he does turn out to be gay, but if he does, it won't be the result of single sex education.

TheBigBallOfOil · 11/07/2019 21:50

Criticise them as much as you want. The problem comes when you make that a basis for criticising thousands of others.
I know you want an excuse for your rabid dislike. You want it to be justified and respected. But it doesn’t stand up.

howwudufeel · 11/07/2019 22:00

You sound surprised that people hate what the school stands for TheBigBagofOil. It’s nothing to do with being envious. It’s because they screw others over in their scramble for power and money.

VanillaSugarr · 11/07/2019 22:16

Can you get anymore EMO than The Jesus and Mary Chain? Grin

TonTonMacoute · 11/07/2019 22:18

Two people - two- are cited as evidence for the proposition that all the alumni of a school, which has educated thousands over centuries, are assholes. I’m sorry but this is idiotic

This, with knobs on 😂

howwudufeel · 11/07/2019 22:19

Say the mothers of current pupils...Grin

VanillaSugarr · 11/07/2019 22:19

Sorry. Wrong thread.

whattodo2019 · 11/07/2019 22:44

Winchester would be a great choice

ArtichokeAardvark · 11/07/2019 22:47

@Spinnaret sorry, I'm trying to work out why you are having a go at me here? Did I at any point say there was anything wrong with being gay? Are you really attempting to insult me for defending the same education that OP prefers and that you have chosen for your own child? I'm utterly confused, and can only assume that it's late, you're tired, and you are surfing Mumsnet looking to pick a fight. Go to bed.

Spinnaret · 11/07/2019 22:53

Er, you are the one who referred to people making jokes about single sex education turning people gay as idiotic. Not me. Hmm

ArtichokeAardvark · 11/07/2019 22:59

Again, I fail to see your point? OP asked for advice. A bunch of PPs started making gay jokes. They are idiots. I called them idiots. I answered the OP's question with my own thoughts. In what world do I lack comprehension, or am I in any way deserving of you having a go at me? Genuinely confused here, and I suggest you rethink your posts. Have a good night.

QuaterMiss · 11/07/2019 23:04

They are the most prominent Etonians of recent years.

No, the adults you are talking about are former Etonians. Old-Etonians. Ex-Etonians.

Actual Etonians are currently schoolboys between the ages of 13 and 18. Mostly just like the teenage boys you know. A large proportion from homes of very average means - there on full or partial bursaries. Many of them are frankly embarrassed by the shit-show of a government this country has inflicted on itself and the prominence of the word ‘Etonian’ in the midst of it all.

But remember - Etonians are schoolboys. Usually to be found, in termtime, playing or watching football, eating pizza, doing homework - with no idea, yet, of how much they will be vilified by complete strangers who know nothing about them either as a group or as individual boys.

peteneras · 12/07/2019 00:04

You obviously, @howwudufeel, come across as someone who thinks that life has dealt you a bad hand and the government - the world - owes you and your family a living. You talk about recent OE prime ministers, their austerity programmes and how they are forced onto you and the underprivileged to make you lot suffer. In other words, you thrive on handouts. No prizes for guessing you're another hypocrite Labour supporter. What are you doing on a thread like this one is beyond me.

Never have you once asked why is the Cameron govt imposing austerity on the population. No, it is not to enrich themselves as you claim. Well, let me tell you - that's because your beloved Labour govt left a big fat welcome note for Cameron saying: "There's no more money here" when they left office. That's on top of the multiple billions of £s debts they'd left for Cameron to pick up.

And please don't sell me all the crap about equal opportunities for all, etc. I'm way past all that (Labour) nonsense. Don't know exactly where you live or what your background is but the fact that you can afford to spend the whole day here at your keyboard dealing with matters that you've absolutely no ideas about suggests to me that you're comparatively speaking, quite comfortable in relation to many outside your immediate front door who are homeless, jobless, hungry, unwashed and in many cases need urgent medical help.

So, tell me, what have you or your school done to bring "equal opportunities" to these people? When was the last time you, or your school, donated something - anything - to that poor guy sitting at the front entrance of Tesco's stretching out his hand holding a pathetic plastic cup begging for help?

Just so that you know, Eton donated (appx) £7.5 million last year to fund needy kids both inside and outside Eton. The amount donated each year is a "year-on-year increase" over the previous year. That's not to mention physically and financially sponsoring a few state schools in the UK and outside it.

And Old Etonians don't come any more recent than my own son. Whilst you'd spent the whole day contributing absolutely nothing here, my OE son has been saving lives and limbs as a doctor since 7.30 this morning in a 700-bed NHS hospital. More than twelve hours later, he's still there - thanks to Eton who gave him two scholarships so that he can now work his guts out (possibly) to save you and your family's/relatives'/friends' lives and aches for many more years to come.

What you need to do now is to give Eton an apology.

TheBigBallOfOil · 12/07/2019 06:43

But your son is an exception, Petenras. As is my friend the paramedic, or my other friend the long-serving army officer, or another friend, QC and devoted father of five. None with trust funds, none in any sinister clubs, all skilled people giving their best to their jobs.
It has been decided that Boris Johnson is what Eton stands for. And that’s the end of it, apparently.

howwudufeel · 12/07/2019 06:57

No apology. I have never taken a handout in my life. Just because I don’t like Eton and what it represents doesn’t make me the lazy scrounger you have described me as being. Doesn’t take much to scratch the surface and see the hatred for others that people connected with Eton have. What a joke to call Etonians philanthropists. There would be no need for charity if the rich weren't getting richer and the poor getting poorer. All of this is propped up by your beloved school. It’s Etonians own fault they have a bad reputation. Who supplied future members of the Bullingdon Club who trashed businesses and made women get on all fours and give the men blow jobs? Eton. Who provides jobs for the boys and grooms these men into politicians who happily screw everybody over? Eton. Who supplies boys who go into the city and make the rich richer and don’t give two hoots about the impact it has on the wider economy? Eton. So yes you can wait a lifetime for your apology. Eton have brought this on themselves and if you don’t like that then frankly I don’t care.

mimimoo22 · 12/07/2019 07:56

My husband and thus all his friends went to one of those schools.
My husband is amazing BUT some of his friends have ummm issues.
We are sending our sons to mixed schools all through and already they are more balanced socially than my husband remembers any of his peers.
When your son go’s to uni he will discover girls ( if he is into girls, if he likes boys he will already have all the distractions in the world). My DH yes went to Oxbridge but he has a 2:2 many of his school friends have 3rds and a few didn’t survive. Many very unhappy highly academically able people cant cope with the pressure it appeared.
They also attended uni with kids from state schools who just carried on working hard and walked out with 1st class degrees into dream jobs.
Your child is not actually more able than a equally bright child who’s parents can’t afford those schools. But the child in the state system will learn to work hard. Also mixing with the opposite sex as we all have to in the work place is not a disadvantage.

GoFiguire · 12/07/2019 09:19

pete puts his hands over his ears and shouts Ra ra ra

jeanne16 · 12/07/2019 09:30

I cannot quite believe that one school produces such extreme views. My DCs went to private schools, including Westminster, so I certainly have no axe to grind with private schools. However I would never send a child to Eton now, as they will have to live with this awful negativity and will be expected to justify their very existence. I’m afraid the current bias against old Etonians now equals the advantage they used to have.

ExpeditionEverest · 12/07/2019 09:43

I do happen to agree that being in a mixed sex school can be very distracting. Not for all, but for some.

I was one of them. Extremely capable at primary and for the first couple of years of secondary and then it all fell apart. Most of my time was spent mooning over boys and I would have done significantly better had I been at a girls school because I just couldn't concentrate.

My husband went to an all boys school and did very well and says that this was mostly due to the fact that he wasn't obsessing over girls 24/7.

It's not a popular opinion to have OP, but I do think that it's a relevant consideration.

marytuda · 12/07/2019 09:46

Let me get this straight . . . Some Eton parents are demanding apologies from some probably-state-school parents (I'm certainly one of those) for daring to suggest their £30,000 + per annum school probably has a proliferation of exceptionally wealthy pupils which probably - no, make that definitely - serves as a cover for distinctly moderate ability and even lesser moral fibre, over many far more able, conscientious but less-privileged young people, and fast-tracks said distinctly underwhelming toffs into positions of inordinate influence, where they have utterly unmerited power over the rest of us, in almost every area, to the terrible detriment of society as a whole . . . . Ummm . . . Just who needs to apologise to who, exactly?? Remind me again . . ?? Wink

Needmoresleep · 12/07/2019 10:09

They are all good schools.

He can apply to all, then depending on which offers he receives, make his own mind up, perhaps in consultation with his teachers. He has to go there so might as well feel responsible for the decision.

DS had offers from both St Paul's and Westminster. It was very obvious. He loved the atmosphere and the historic feel of Westminster. Other boys we knew, loved the playing fields and open spaces at St Pauls.

I think girls in the sixth form at Westminster are a real advantage, and increasingly so. The boys smarten up, play fewer video games and start working harder. Academic girls at 16 tend to be far more diligent than the boys, but the boys don't want to be outsmarted in class.

It is also a good preparation for University. Sadly unfettered access to the internet means that many boys have played too many violent video games and seen too much porn. Too much time in exclusively male company can lead them to not understand what is acceptable behaviour with female peers. There have been ugly incidents at both Exeter and Warwick, and a friends daughter had problems at Oxford in a tutor group dominated by public school boys. (The University dealt with it quickly and effectively.) For that reason I would strongly recommend co-ed at sixth form, especially somewhere like Westminster where pastoral care is very strong.