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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

How bad is it for a child to be put on a behaviour report?

53 replies

Andyfromtoystory · 09/05/2019 19:05

Is it bad for a child to be put on behaviour report? Something I’ve never taken lightly but starting to think that maybe it’s not that bad considering the amount of pupils on it in my sons year

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Dermymc · 09/05/2019 19:08

Approx 3% of the year group are on it at my current school. It's not great and usually a step towards collecting evidence if/when an exclusion is required.

cottonwoolmouth · 09/05/2019 19:08

I’d be hugely embarrassed and wondering wtf was going on with my child that they could be acting like such a dick in school.

It could effect his secondary application if it’s kept on file

Pipandmum · 09/05/2019 19:12

Depends what the child is on report for. My son was on reports, had an unbelievable amount of detentions too. His crime? Chewing gum, talking in class, not handing his homework in on time, missing registration repeatedly (though not missing any classes). He’s a cheeky boy who can’t keep his trap shut. He’s also very charming and the teachers love him, even if frustrated by his behaviour.
If he had the above detentions for bullying, being rude, talking back, hitting someone I’d be a lot more concerned.

Original poster
Andyfromtoystory · 09/05/2019 19:12

Sorry what is a secondary application? As In for secondary school as my son is already at secondary school so that’s nothing to really worry about. 3% of pupils is roughly how many would you say ?

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Original poster
Andyfromtoystory · 09/05/2019 19:14

Pipandmum you could say your sun was being rude for talking when ghe teachers were talking and not following instructions , this seems a lot worse than just casually talking.

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Original poster
Andyfromtoystory · 09/05/2019 19:15

*son sorry I can’t type on my phone very well

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Prequelle · 09/05/2019 19:17

I despise all these 'he's a loveable rogue' crap. pip it doesn't really sound like you're taking the bad behaviour of your son seriously. Him talking in class is disruptive to others. Not handing in work on time isn't fair to the teacher having to do the marking.

Wolfiefan · 09/05/2019 19:17

I would be cross. There would be sanctions at home.
Pip he doesn’t sound charming. He sounds a PITA. Hmm

LizzieVereker · 09/05/2019 19:26

I teach a number of “cheeky chaps”in a year 8 class. I’m very experienced and scary, so they don’t tend to get beyond chat and the odd bit of cheek. Despite this, by my reckoning I spend about 15% of every lesson dealing with their silliness, time which could be dedicated to learning. I point this out to them from time to time, and ask how they feel about stealing that time from other students. They do care, for a few minutes, but then go back to being silly again. You can tell when a child has a genuine inability to control their impulses, but in my opinion most are just given far too much sway at home, and allowed to interrupt and hold court, knowing that adults find them charming.

viques · 09/05/2019 19:31

pipandmum

Good. About time someone told your child a few home truths about not relying on charm to make his way through life while at the same time disrupting other people's education by continuous low level classroom disruption.

viques · 09/05/2019 19:35

And OP, yes you should be concerned. Being on a behavioural report is a warning, you and your child should take note of it and sort his behaviour out before it becomes a way of life as it now seems to be with pipandmums child , who to be fair hasn't been helped by his indulgent parents couldn't care less attitude towards her entitled and rude sons appalling behaviour.

Curiousmum69 · 09/05/2019 19:39

Chewing gum, talking in class, not handing his homework in on time, missing registration repeatedly (though not missing any classes). He’s a cheeky boy who can’t keep his trap shut. He’s also very charming and the teachers love him, even if frustrated by his behaviour.

Trust me his teachers don't love him or you. These are incredibly disruptive behaviours in class.

BiBiBirdie · 09/05/2019 19:41

DD was put on it for a week. Scared the shite out of her and, instead of acting a twit, she is now working much harder and dealing with difficult stuff (frustration over work, a boy acting awful to her), by lashing out or being gobby to teachers she asks directly for help.
She's in year 7.
I was mortified. I also grounded her to kingdom come, her head was actually quite fair though, she spent some time with DD one on one, asking her to tell her what was going on, whatever it was. All came out about aforementioned boy calling her fat and ugly etc after she turned down being his girlfriend. She then talked to her cousin who reported back the same.
School were great, it worked a treat. I'm now pleased she was on it.

Dermymc · 09/05/2019 19:41

I gave a percentage so you can compare between different sized year groups!

Pip your son sounds awful to have in a classroom to be honest. As likeable as someone is, they shouldn't be disrupting the learning of other students. If he doesn't go to form, where is he? That's a safeguarding issue right there. Sort your kid out and stop indulging him.

PineapplesandtheGovernment · 09/05/2019 21:44

Op here's a percentage calculator so you can work out how many 3% would be in your dc's year
percentagecalculator.net

clary · 10/05/2019 11:37

His crime? Chewing gum, talking in class, not handing his homework in on time, missing registration repeatedly (though not missing any classes). He’s a cheeky boy who can’t keep his trap shut. He’s also very charming and the teachers love him, even if frustrated by his behaviour.

I agree with others, he doesn't sound like someone I would have loved as a, teacher. Please don't minimise his behaviour ("his crime?" makes it sound as if you are). Talking in class is disruptive, not handing in HW is annoying to teachers who have set it and need to mark it, and not bring in form time is a, safeguarding issue.

Op 3% of a typical year of 200 would be 6 students.

OKBobble · 10/05/2019 12:22

Ah "Casually talking" - you mean disrupting the lesson for the rest of the class.

BiBiBirdie · 10/05/2019 15:20

Yes I'd agree with the limiting way you describe it. You have to support the school and reinforce that his behaviour is unacceptable, or he will get worse. I really hope you haven't displayed this flippant attitude around him towards it.
I think because we reinforced that we were as unimpressed with DD gobbing off and supported the school in putting her on report probably helped her see what an arse she was being.
To be honest, you sound like a nightmare who never sees anything but the sun shining out his backside, so no wonder he's acting like this. Disruption and disrespect towards teachers is inexcusable.

EvilMorty · 10/05/2019 15:43

If there are 30 in a class, 3% would be 1 child in each class. It’s bad.

hsegfiugseskufh · 10/05/2019 15:51

in my experience both from me being at highschool (about 11 years ago!) and dss being at high school now, they're not that bad. I never was on one but there were always maybe 3 of 4 kids in a class on one at any one time.

DSS has been on one twice so far and whilst me and DP aren't happy about it and there have been consequences at home (not any more as he now lives with his mum who doesn't care) I don't think its that horrendous really, especially at his school which is run like a prison camp. you can get put on report for wearing the incorrect socks (ffs!) more than once, and tbh that I couldn't give a shit about.

I am bothered when he's been rude or disrespectful, or not done homework though.

Iamnobirdandnonetensnaresme · 10/05/2019 16:04

'Low level' disruption costs each pupil 38school days a year!
It is selfish and entitled and should not be tolerated.
Every day at least one child in my DC's class is 'exited' from a lesson. Most lessons are distrusted by chat and 'cheeky' behaviour. It is draining my child, she is exhausted by the constant disruption.
Her whole class are on report because of it.

Do not minimise this or it will continue.

treenu · 10/05/2019 16:20

It is definitely not good to be on report. I imagine it is easier for some people to minimise it but if my dcs came home on one I would not be happy.

Students only go on report when they are repeatedly disrupting lessons. Low level disruption is just as bad as the more confrontational behaviour.

Those students that think they are being subtle communicating across the class of whispering to friends make listening to key information or examples really difficult for the immediate students around them (could be up to 6).

How hard do you find it to focus on a task or listen to something that requires concentration when people are gossiping nearby? Think about how hard it would be for teenagers.

"But I did my work" - Yes but what about all the students around you distracted?!

crosser62 · 10/05/2019 16:29

It’s bad but my question is what a parent can do to tackle this behaviour?

CordeliaWyndamPryce · 10/05/2019 16:37

what a parent can do to tackle this behaviour?

Talking to the child to find out if there are any underlying issues and help them identify better strategies for dealing with them. Check they are getting the basics - enough sleep, proper food, not too much gaming etc. Rewards and sanctions at home.

Basically, side with the school in reiterating that the behaviour is unacceptable and support sanctions they put in place.

Original poster
Andyfromtoystory · 10/05/2019 18:39

I agree with this , I think it differs with schools. I’m my Sons school , this year there have been around 24 pupils on reports such as departmental , tutor time , year leader. Obviously these may not be exact numbers as my son gave me names of pupils so not necessarily a reliable source. They obviously differ between length of time spent on this but I agree this is. A large number. In my opinion , although parents can help minimise behaviour, they cannot stop it altogether - the only thing they can do is back up the school and give consequences but this doesn’t always work for children

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