Should the school do more?

[NailClub1]

DD is 15 and has horrific period pain. For two years we’ve been to drs/clinics/hospitals/specialists trying to get a cure for her monthly agony. She misses a week every month, and stresses about catching up lessons and homework. This is only going to get worse as we head into her final year/exams.

My question is: does the school have to help us with a chronic illness. They do nothing, apart from set the truancy dept on us, even though we have drs letters and letters to teachers asking for work to be given so she can keep up. She’s an A student, but stressed over catching up. What’s the legal position of educating DD when she’s so ill once a month for a week. Seems really unfair on her.

Have they not out her on the minipill so she does not have periods?

*put not out

Does the school not have a VLE with all the schemes on it ?

I agree with Something . If you haven't already, I would ask for her to go on the pill. DD1 did this in y10 to help with heavy periods, DofE and exams. Worked a treat.

Not sure I would class it as an illness although she’s clearly suffering. Haven’t you asked about the pill? I wouldn’t want any student missing a quarter of their GCSE education.

Sounds odd to me
Amy half decent gp could sort this out with the pill. Or if she can't have it due to contra indications the mini pill.
Failing that most specialists will put a mireena coil in a teenager under general anesthetic.
If you have been spending two yrs hawking her round specialists either your refusing the pill or your daughter has some very very rare medical conditions that preclude all hormonal therapy

My dd went on the pill - problem solved that month.

Don't know whether school should do more (what would you like them to do? (genuine question)) but Id put most of your efforts into the medical route. What have they tried? What are they proposing to do next?

What have you done with the medical route to try and solve this? It must be awful for your DD.

Have you had a meeting with the HoY to dicuss your concerns and ask for support?

I'd be focusing on the medical route to try and improve this for your dd. I get bad periods but not for a full week so I do really sympathise!
Re school: What else do you want them to do (genuine question, as in what do you have in mind)? There will be a limit on how much 'extra' a mainstream school will be able to offer due to resources.
Legally, I'm not sure what obligation there is. If chronic illness means attending school regularly is out of the question, hospital education could be put in place by your LA, but that doesn't sound appropriate in her case.

OP has your DD been assessed for endometriosis? She will need a transvaginal ultrasound and possibly a laparoscopy, as it often doesn’t show up on ultrasound. If endo is found, it can be removed. In the meantime, is she on stronger painkillers such as mefenamic acid, which she can combine with paracetamol? Also ask her to try giving up dairy, as it’s inflammatory and can be a cause of period pain.

Suffering like this is unacceptable and the doctors need to find the cause of the problem. The pill would just treat the symptom of the problem, and has its own risks.

Tbh there's not much more they can do.

You need to get her sorted medically. It is nowhere near normal to have a week off a month for period pain.

Hmmm. seems odd that this hasn't been able to be sorted out in two years, essentially anything that stops her from ovulating should improve the pain at least in the short term.

are you 100% sure there isn't a teeny bit of embellishment going on by your daughter?

I have severe endometriosis I'm coping fine just now because I'm on the mini pill. Going on the mini pill should help. I'd also recommend speaking to the doctor about referring her to hospital to see a specialist. Every period you get the endometriosis spreads. I didn't know I had it until I was having difficulty falling pregnant at that point it was too severe to be removed and lots of my insides are fused together.

With regards the school I'm not sure what they could do or you expect them to do. She can't live her life missing work every month so I'd be looking at the medical route.

Most schools have access to a variety of online resources mymaths/Hegarty/the VLE etc.
It is a lot of time to have off and whilst your daughter should be getting help she is missing so much that teachers cannot really help. You need a meeting with head of year/house to sort it out and ensure your daughter is returning and completing work. I have five year 11 pupils who do not attend school (either at all or have less than 60% attendance). I spend ages sending, copying and collating work - only one ever returns it.

What are the doctors saying after two years?

I think for your DD's sake you really need to get to the bottom of her illness rather than focusing on just what the school can do.

Is there a reason that contraception that would prevent her having period at all isn't an option?

She’s trying the implant, kept vomiting up the pills (tried several ones)

What’s a VLE and how would it help?

We’ve tried 4 different pills, now on the implant, certainly not refusing medical help, trying everything they give us but so far mefanamic acid has caused burnt stomach lining causing vomiting, pill induced auras, migraines, eyesight migraines (pretty colours not seeing clearly) vomiting regularly, passing out 2/3 times a day when on period, nosebleeds (May be part of illness or have no connection at all) blood from ears and eyes after falling but we think caused by noseblleds. Loss of weight recently. Bloods indicate folic acid low, supplements given, but I noticed pain levels were not realistic after bloods, way higher than normal. Each dr/clinic/specialist takes 3 months for referral, issues pills, then books for three months which after them cancelling and rearranging takes 5 months, so we lose more time. I’m seeking ANY help I can.

Head of year, told her to work harder in the subjects she’s struggling with😳

There’s not a jot of embellishment going on. She cries at not being able to go in. She’s a walking zombie, goes in, vomits in class or passes out in class. We’ve gone through every pull they’ve given us. She vomits them up to frequently they’ve put the implant in. The pill will only work in a third of cases. It either stops the periods, makes them worse it changes nothing. Everyone is worried about the medical side - we’re doing what we’re told/offered. My original questions still stand. What can we do about her education?

There’s nothing medically we’re not doing - but it’s just not working for her. I want the school to collate work for her, I’ve written letters to the teachers asking for this, 4 responded. They’ve triggered the absence officers instead of sending us homework. They are not helping her education at all. Isn’t she entitled to get simple help/homework/lesson plans so she has something to work on at home in her better moments? I’m saying we’re doing everything we can medically, but the school are failing in supporting her needs educationally. If I was a shit mum who didn’t care, I wouldn’t be on here trying to find out what can or should be done. Her attendance (minus period absences) is 100%. I’m pleading for help in getting them to help us. Her education surely cannot just be forgotten?

Join some home education groups - the ones geared toward taking independent exams. You should get some good advice on there from those preparing at home for the same exam boards.

Have a look on gov.uk about illness - it stars that after 15 days of illness (and these don’t have to be consecutive) that an alternative education should be provided. I’m not sure what you expect them to do - surely if your daughter is that unwell ever 4th week how will she manage to do work at home?

I would ask each teacher for a textbook recommendation, as it’s much easier to follow a course through a book if you are not attending every lesson. Ask for the exam specification for each subject, and if you know in advance when DD will be off school, get each subject teacher to say what topics they will cover that week.

Some very specific requests might get you more information.