Should the school do more?

[NailClub1]

DD is 15 and has horrific period pain. For two years we’ve been to drs/clinics/hospitals/specialists trying to get a cure for her monthly agony. She misses a week every month, and stresses about catching up lessons and homework. This is only going to get worse as we head into her final year/exams.

My question is: does the school have to help us with a chronic illness. They do nothing, apart from set the truancy dept on us, even though we have drs letters and letters to teachers asking for work to be given so she can keep up. She’s an A student, but stressed over catching up. What’s the legal position of educating DD when she’s so ill once a month for a week. Seems really unfair on her.

I meant to say, teachers may not be able to say exactly what work they will set in advance, but they should know the topic area to be covered.

Vaginal ring?
Contraceptive patch?

Have you had a really upfront chat with the school SMT about this?

When I read your OP I did think "ffs why have you not just sorted this medically". Now you've shared more details I feel bad about that, and I recognise it's clearly a more significant issue you're having to address. Are the school aware that you are really trying to sort this out but it is looking like a long term issue and they need to be arranging long term solutions?

Teenage girl having period issues v serious medical problem are different things and it seems like your DD is, sadly, the latter.

You need to book an appointment and go and see the staff at school to explain it in person.

When she’s a walking zombie we send her in, when she’s going to vomit in my car in the way in, or cries from the pain whilst getting ready for school (fully dressed by the door) she gets to stay home. Walking hurts - ask anyone with normal period pain, let alone this. Can we please stop discussing her periods/medical history/details of what I’ve said, it’s of no help at all - just making me feel like no/one believes us. I’m only asking for help in what to say to them to make them give us homework/lesson plans in advance if sickness (that she can try to follow whilst sitting up in bed in her better than shit moments. She’d actually be better off staying home and studying when she can rather than going in, having migraines that she can’t see books through (blurry colours) fainting and vomiting. Moving hurts her as everybody knows when they’ve got a crap period.

I’ve tried writing to teachers for homework. 4 responded. I was going to write to hoy, but he told her to work harder. Can’t see how she can. Do I write to him? Do I complain? Surely this has happened before - what SHOULD be put in place to help support her education. I’m not a teacher, but I taught her to read at 5, I drive past the nearest crap school to get to the better one, we are serious about her schooling, but her education is being ignored by them. Please guide me, I’m losing the will to even ask anymore.

BareBum, thank you, seems good advice, though she’s effectively self teaching but it’s better than nothing. Thank you for your help.

You need to call a meeting with

• attendance officer (to tell them where to go!)
• head of year (to ask him/her how they expect your daughter to just work harder)
• SENCo (who should be able to co/ordinate work and help)
• school medical person (do they have a nurse anymore?)

Are her periods regular? So you know when she will be home? Can the work be co-ordinated before hand? Are her symptoms ‘easier’ if she doesn’t push herself to go to school during her cycle if so then use this to get help. Does the gp letter state she can’t attend school when she has her cycle due to her symptoms? If not would they be willing to write one.

My daughter (now 17) has a chronic health condition that means she hasn’t attended school since year 7. Completely no education year 8 and 9 and started online year 10 and 11 at home - I understand how frustrating it is for you as the fight to get any help is ridiculous.

You could also contact your local EWO and complain about the hassle you are getting from the attendance officer and also what help they think should be in place

Good luck

VLE - virtual learning environment, schools all have some sort of digital platform where resources are stored and shared. Ours is called Firefly but there are various ones. When she logs on it should take her straight to the home page.

Ring your local Education Welfare Service for advice.

Essentially it comes down to time and resources. Who would be responsible for coordinating the work being gathered and given to your DD? That is job that would need to be allocated to someone and takes time (and from experience, it involves a lot of chasing!). As a school we wouldn't usually send work home for illness/medical in most cases as long term would be offered hospital education and short term would soon return (and in that case - eg. Surgery and 3 weeks off - we'd provide some but no obligation to). Yours is a really tricky case because it's ongoing but not all the time. Speak to EWS for advice. Is it an academy or LA? (Just wondering whether they do their own EWO work or use the LA)

One issue with trying to advise you is it isn't clear (to me at least) what the school already knows.

In your follow up post you shared that the issue has been explored medically and all the 'usual' medical solutions tried.

What I still can't quite see is to what extent this has been shared with the school. Because either they are being totally unreasonable, or they don't understand the seriousness of the situation.

So as far as I can see you need an 'all cards on the table' with the people KT suggested. You need to not skirt round the issues. They need to understand this is a serious medical issue, not a teen girl being pathetic and an over-anxious mum.

Individual teachers won't respond well without a clear directive from management.

If you have already tried this then I'm all out of ideas.

If you haven’t already (and as suggested above) arrange a meeting with the School Medical Officer, Attendance Officer and HOY and discuss with them if there is a Medical Needs Teaching Service in your area that your daughter may be eligible for.

If you google Medical Needs Teaching Service in your area you might be able to do some background research before the meeting so you can push hard for it - obviously there is limited funding so it may be difficult to meet their requirements.

Try to keep working with the school (sometimes the Attendance or School Medical Officer are your best person to contact as they can then follow it up with HOY on your behalf) also ensure you have all medical appointments and in writing.

Good Luck.

If she's missed that much school, she's entitled to tutoring from the LA medical education team. They could provide home tutoring on the weeks she isn't well enough to get to school. A consultant will probably have to write a letter to support her referral. School may not be keen as they will have to fund it.

Speak to your local SENDIASS service to find out the details for your area.

Also request the involvement of the school nurse and for a health and care plan to be written with input from the medics involved.

You could also request a referral to CAMHS in case the pain is being amplified by the anxiety and creating a vicious circle. This is a thing and the right support can make a big difference.

Quick update DD passed out whilst trying to get on the bus home. Headteacher carried her back to school. Teacher who activated Education Welfrare Officers (Moriarty) to investigate had some snyoathy for what was going on, questioned DD for half hr before I collected her. Said she would put safety (lift access etc) first. Looked vague when I mentioned her loss of education, gave me a squeeze of empathy when I expressed I’m between a rock and a hard place. Got home to find a (generic) letter from Head Teacher regarding her poor attendance.

I’m currently writing a letter to HT with all your info, as HOY has removed any help for us, probably because EWO thought beating us over the head would work better than enticements. School do seem to be unaware, but I’ve inforned them via own attendance officer of every step. Presumably, that has not filtered through to anyone.

I’m writing to them with
Schools input - EWO and removal of help
Child’s input - huge stress on her
Our input - The effort we’ve put in
What we request - info,policies, contact info (as per your info) so we can locate the correct help.
Lastly, that we will endeavour to find the correct help and support from other sources, if this letter does not end with a complete care and education plan. I’ll put it nicely, but will have to take this higher and further with each refusal of help. After two years, I’m very saddened to complain, but I feel I have no choice. Thank you everyone for your help, much appreciated, and I’ve learnt what a lot of abbreviations are. X

Have you got a copy of your DD's GCSE timetable yet? We found that last year that DD's exams were split before & after half term with few subjects spread over more than 2 weeks. You may find that there are some subjects that your DD may not be well enough to take during her bad week whereas others may fall into her good weeks. I hope you find a solution soon.

Most of her exams will be next year, I understand there maybe issues on those times, nothing we can do about it as she’d be in no fit state to take tests, she’d have to sit them later. hopefully not timed for a month later....

I doubt they'd let her sit them later in the same exam period. That would mean setting whole new papers as she couldn't sit the ones already done.

She can’t sit them later in the same exam series, that option does not exist. If she is not well enough to take them Summer 2020 then her next opportunity ( apart from English and Maths) is Summer 2021.
Sorry I know that is not what you were asking right now but it is hopefully useful for you to know the score.
I second the advice gicen by a pp to buy study guides and workbooks.

Have you looked through the “supporting children with medical conditions in schools” guidelines? The school should legally have a policy too.

I would be demanding an urgent assessment for endometriosis in your position though. Also, I take cocodamol for three days each month. Nothing else touches the sides but that does help. Also please make sure that her platelets are normal. Low platelets can cause extreme bleeding. Not having a go but it took me more than 30 years to find this out.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/638267/supporting-pupils-at-school-with-medical-conditions.pdf

OP
Does she have close friends in each subject?
Is it possible one or more of her friends could take a photo of the notes in their exercise book taken in class and whatsapp it to her, collect any worksheets and homework and drop it off?
Could school lend her the textbooks and a fellow pupil/friend text her the page they are doing as they do it?
How are your finances? Would the school allow you to put an AV1 robot in class to stream the lessons one week from four - this will cost you 220 pounds per month unless you can crowdfund it or persuade the LEA to fund it?
Missing exams/controlled assessments/assessed coursework in year 10 is something you need to double-check.
Good Luck.

www.noisolation.com/uk/av1/pricing/

To be honest, particularly as she is KS4, it's in the schools best interest to help her do as well as she can academically. Maybe through your letter and the recent episode, they'll have a better understanding of the situation? I work with some families who provide limited information and are very defensive, and it is hard to know how genuine a case is.

Had a meeting with Welfare Officers who told me my drs letters/clinics letters were of no use. The demanded Consultants letter, stating that she is bed ridden and unable to walk. What a waste of consultants time. I wrote to complain two weeks ago to the school: as her illness has been witnessed by ALL of her teachers, passing out/vomiting, they are the witnesses! Spoken to Family Liason Officer who is contacting the school to put into place help for homework, lesson plans, lesson information, lift key, SENco for collating information, they may also help with home tuition but as a temporary thing. (Why temporary - her periods won’t be?) Also told me that the Consultant only had to state that she is unfit for school, and that their demands for ‘specific wording’ is unrealistic and shouldn’t have been asked for. These officers all work at the same council, which I pay for. You couldn’t make it up.

I taught her to read at 5, we are totally engaged as parents to her education - but the lack of formalised response to her illness has been dreadful. The response from the Educational Welfare Officers has been confrontational. 😳. Only seeing some form of help now from advice telling us to contact sentias. So without this group we’d be worse off than ever - thank you all for your advice. Following it all up.