Why do people openly criticise decisions to send your kids to a private school?

[scotmum1977]

I sent my Son to a private school (Glasgow) last year for various reasons and it's working out really well. There is the cost but we just do without expensive holidays etc. I can't think of a better gift for my children than a good education. I was so surprised at how offended people get when they ask which school he attends. They think it's ok to criticise you openly and make bitchy comments here and there. Surely how you spend your own money is your own business. Anyone else have this experience?

No I’m not trying to say that (although I can see that’s how it comes across) it’s just I live in a very MC village and everyone I meet and socialise is MC. I have a few friends from work who I socialise with we’re in a profession and middle aged therefore mainly MC and affluent due to time served.
I don’t discount anyone as a friend due to their background d but I do choose friends who live close to me and are of similar age to me and have similar interest and so they’re MC.
Anyway I’m off out now happy new year to you sll.

“I find it frankly disturbing that you feel you have more in common with people because they are the same class as you, rather than because you have the same hobbies/taste in tv or music/values etc”
To be fair- the two often go together.

IamAlways
I live in a very rough area
so I do not socialise with my neighbours
any of them
I socialise with friends from Uni days
I socialise with work contacts
I socialise with gym friends
none of whom live round here

I cannot see why that is a problem.

Having worked in mainstream school for the last 15 years I am happily content that I worked hard, didn't have holidays and expensive cars and preferred to spend my hard earned cash on private education for my two children. Admittedly they both had scholarships but it was still expensive. If I had my time again I wouldn't change a thing. It was worth every penny. It's you money, you spend it how you want!

Iamalways what sort of people do you socialise with? Presumably you keep well away from anyone who was privately educated since you seem to dislike them so much.

dapple where did I say I dislike them? You’re extrapolating.

I don’t live in the UK, class is much less prevalent where I am so I basically hang out with whoever.

Iamalways you sneer at them which indicates you don’t think much of them.

dapple darling, where have I sneered at them?

Please provide evidence.

Iamalways
This comment
yes I’m sure little Arabella from St Snootingtons spends vast amounts of time hanging around the youth centre with Kylie from the local estate.

Is that sneering then?

Surely that’s just a joke, not like I was exclusively taking the piss out of the posh was it.

@IAmAlwaysLikeThis I am sure that was just a joke but on a separate note not everyone who attends a private school is posh. Tbh none of the kids in my ds class are posh. (Including him) They all have different backgrounds. Might be different in public schools - never met anyone from a public school so couldn't comment. Also judging by this thread the schools differ substantially. Someone joked about my kids playing lacrosse and fencing - Insisting they must participate In these sports as attend a private school. This is simply not the case.

scot this has been gone over 100000 times in this thread.

Posh is relative. Fuck, on my parents estate, we’re the posh ones and my mum’s a cleaner and dad’s a builder.

@IAmAlwaysLikeThis that's very true. I have to say I hand never been called posh in my life. I have a responsible job, 2 businesses and a trustee of 2 charities but posh has never been a requirement. It's probably because I live I a very down to earth part of he world do realise it's different for everyone.

“responsible job, 2 businesses and a trustee of 2 charities”

Yeah, not posh at all, sure.

@IAmAlwaysLikeThis sorry hit send too soon. I am not posh. My friends world laugh so hard thinking I was ever referred to as posh or thinking I was in any was elitist.

@IAmAlwaysLikeThis awww really? that's really so unfair. I work my backside off for charities and no I dont need too but I do because I want too. You know nothing about me or the work I do or charities I lead so please be respectful. And after all that no I'm still not posh. That will never change. (Not that there's ANYTHING wrong with being posh fgs please let's just try be tolerant of each other x)

scot where did I say there was something wrong with being posh?

You know nothing about me either.

You can do plenty for charity and still be posh. The queen does plenty and she’s pretty posh.

@IAmAlwaysLikeThis totally agree. The queen is another thread though

I just don’t get people like you. You do loads for charity so???? What??? Therefore you can’t be posh or you are immune from any criticism/judgement or what?

@IAmAlwaysLikeThis “responsible job, 2 businesses and a trustee of 2 charities”

Yeah, not posh at all, sure.

I don't get your issue with posh! I'm not posh so not personal but intruiged what's the issue?

I don’t have one.

You’re the one insinuating it’s an insult.

@IAmAlwaysLikeThis oh gawd but you're going on and on about it. Anyway I'm not really interested in why it's an issue as sidetracking and busy here with family and lovely things. All the best to you and your family in 2019. Hope you have a brilliant year!x

People think I’m posh and I’m not ashamed of it . What is wrong with being “posh” should I change the way I speak and start watching the Jeremy Kyle show? Would that make me a better person? I think not. I would be being disingenuous I am a product of my environment I will not make myself into something I’m not to appease the prejudices of others.
Being posh (or not) doesn’t have to make you an up your self arrogant Daily Mail reading and uncaring and clueless about those who struggle with their daily lives. I’ve spent my whole working life amongst those who are on the bottom of the heap, the sort homeless that even the homeless centres don’t want prisoners including murders and rapists refugees illegal immigrants those dependent on substances those living in unbelievable poverty victims of social deprivation and all its impacts, those who abuse their children I might be “posh”but this doesn’t mean I don’t try to emphasise with them (although I would be the first to admit at times I struggle with those who deliberately abuse their children) and try to treat them professionally and with respect. Where necessary I will fight with every oz I possess and even speak out on their behalf if they can’t even if I dont agree to ensure any of the above receive the relevant support and help. I do not judge anyone according to their wealth nationality past or currant history sex gender etc so being posh doesn’t make you a bad person anymore than being working class.

@happygardening absolutely. as I said earlier whilst Im not posh there is absolutely nothing wrong with being posh. Those who have an issue with this have reverse snobbery. Happy new year to you and yours!

State primary and state comprehensive saw me into Cambridge where I was partnered with boys from Winchester for supervisions and my year was littered with Etonians. This all reinforced my desire to have my kids state educated all through as I was.

Fast forward several decades and my son starts in the local village primary where his desire to learn to spell is frowned on, they don’t even know that he can write and there is no funding for music lessons. And all the rest and all from a school that is OFSTED
“good”. Resourcing and expectations seem to have collapsed. So I was driven to go private. Tried same path for DD a few years later and things have only got worse. So same for her and now both in private. I quit an academic job for an industry one to fund it. I am still not happy about it and well aware of the fact that my kids have access to academic and extra curricular provision that others do not because I am paying. It isn’t right that it is that way but I have no power to do anything other than do the best I can for my kids. Apart from fee anxiety I am not losing sleep over it.