Using phone to ask friends about homework

[Dancergirl]

Dd has just started Year 7. They're getting a manageable amount of homework at the moment, however she's pretty exhausted at the end of the school day and needs a bit of nagging to get on with homework so it doesn't build up.

I try and keep her off her phone during the late afternoon so she can get her work done with no distractions. However, almost every day she's asking me to use it to ask something about the homework on her class WhatsApp group. This generally leads to chat about other stuff and me nagging her to get off it.

I know this is the modern day equivalent of phoning a friend but I think she should start doing homework independently without needing clarification for every little thing. I'd rather she did what she thought was right and get feedback from the teacher.

Any advice how to manage this?

Is she asking what she needs to do - in which case she needs to pay more attention when it is set
or how to do it - in which case she can ask you!

Seems like an excuse for distraction to me!

I don't know exactly what she's asking, she won't tell me!

Well for a start off you can view the WhatsApp messages, so you can find out!

I think it's early days so I'd not worry too much. Dd1 always did a lot of work with half an eye on her phone. She's 6th form and still does. She has several WhatsApp groups for different subjects and they'll say "anyone know the answer to question 3" and things like that. It really does help, and she helps others in their turn.
Dd2 doesn't work like that at all.

Like Witchend , my 2 of my dc have done this to a greater or lesser extent. If she is doing her fair share of explaining / helping, as well as asking for help, it isn't necessarily a bad thing. With Whatsapp, she can show you the message trail so you can see if it actually is mostly about homework or if it is more just chatter.
Again, like Witchend, my dd is in 6th form, and can have several message groups going whilst doing homework. she still managed to do weel at GCSEs.
It is difficult to understand / accept that they can work so differently from us, but, as long as her feedback from the school is right, I'd let her get on with it, tbh.

My experience of this (DD2 now 19) is that it's not a good idea. If you can get her into the habit of putting her phone in another room now during homework sessions, she'll get a lot more done, and be much more focused, which will pay off later when schoolwork requires a lot more effort. Also, they are probably doing a lot of "group work" at school; my DD IMO has suffered academically from not getting enough experience of working truly independently, without constantly checking with her peers whether what she's doing is OK. It made her unsure of herself academically, and lacking in confidence in her own skills and knowledge. Homework is an opportunity to develop that experience and that confidence that she may well not be getting at school.

I meant to say also that having the phone available means homework takes up a lot more time, and leaves less time for other activities, and this too became an issue once GCSEs and A levels started.

This study is also very interesting;

Your cognitive capacity is significantly reduced when your smartphone is within reach -- even if it's off.

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/06/170623133039.htm

Sounds like classic distraction to me too. On the occasions where ds1 tries this I find out exactly what he needs to ask and why . 9 times out of 10 he doesnt need to check with anyone at all.

Also not helped by schools putting all the homework online

I don't know exactly what she's asking, she won't tell me!

I don't think it is at all unreasonable for you to have access to her messages. DD has also just started Y7 and agreed to me being able to see her messages whenever I want. This is the price of her having a smartphone in this house.

Thank you. I do have access to her phone, I've insisted I know her password. But there is so much rubbish on these chats! Mostly a million 'hi's', quizzes and stuff. I'll need to scroll through and find the relevant bits.