GCSEs 2018 (18) Well that's all over, let's get the party started

[Stickerrocks]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/secondary/3341060-GCSEs-2018-17-What-will-be-in-your-coffee-cup-on-Thursday

Perhaps when I say congratulate I mean I've been possibly a bit matter of fact with the various results without devaluing the achievement, so that grades aren't made into a huge big thing for the next one down? Not that it was especially conscious.

That's my sister too Oneteen.

Korma completely understand very similar in our house. DD has done spectacularly well - one grade short of perfect score. She has always been the really bright one in the family. DS bright but only realised it when he applies himself. He too had a really good year last year. In the card he write to DD yesterday he said congrats on dong so well - you have no set the bar for me and created so much pressure. He too is 13 and going into year 9.

I spoke to them both about being on their own journeys and forging their own paths with their own interest. Like somebody else said above we focus on their individual strengths and magnify them. If handled correctly this whole scenario can also be a big motivator in working hard for their GCSEs. DS is already talking about how disappointed he will Be if he gets less than x in terms of grades. We will have to watch it over the next few years and ensure that he uses it to inspire him not pressurise him. I know my DB is feeling the pressure too in terms of how his DD will do who sits them next year.

And yes for celebrating the effort more

I mean throw up, not through up. Grr.

Too many typos for me too but hopefully you get the gist

DS3 and DD (going into Y10) are not as academically able as DS2 and are likely to get mostly 6s.

DD should be OK because she's at a different school, and tends to focus on her own progress rather than comparing her grades to others'.

It will be harder for DS3 to follow two years after DS2, whose results were one of the highest in the year and who is staying at the same school for sixth form. Hopefully the staff also remember DS1 (has just left) and will realise that our children are not all cut from the same aptitude cloth.

Hmm that’s difficult korma. This is where for us I think dyslexia diagnosis helped as ds could feel his lower level of success was down that and not his innate ability or lack of work. He is also at a school where focus is on values/behavior/character and he has been praised a lot for that which has hugely increased his confidence in that he sees that he has a value and a value to the school other than results. And like pp says it is often those things and the personal skills that determine how far people go in life. But it is a skill I’m still learning to stress those things without either appearing condescending or playing down DD1 successes. Whether this matters too depends on the nature of the dc and how competent I’ve they are.

Sorry that wasn’t much help but hopefully others will have more practical suggestions

I suspect that DS2's siblings see his Maths & Science aptitude as part and parcel of his disability (the savant stereotype) so can accept that it's just part of who he is. The truth is that his results were just as much down to the conscientious effort he put in every day.

lets talk Has your DC considered Interhigh if there is a worry about having to take longer than 2 years for A Level? It's an online high school and there are course fees (which may or may not be possible for your family) but it gives flexibility that a school 6th Form or FE college can't offer.

GGirl it is so hard when the hard work doesn't translate to official results, but those skills of persistence and resilience will be what counts in RL. I love reminders that not everyone takes the same path, but if there's a goal, it's possible to get where you want to go (and the creative thinking to get there is an added benefit to your character and personal skills).

Good luck to all making decisions and choosing their next steps - I hope that the next stage is full of positivity for their potential

It's a new chapter for all!

Dd would like to thank mumsnet for the support & info I’ve passed onto her, especially things like recommending revision strategies & Tassomai. She had some poor science teaching in previous years (though new teachers in Year 11 improved things a lot) but she wasn’t finding her school revision guides helpful. She’s convinced Tassomai lifted her physics from a 6 to an 8.

Korma now on a train and able to reply, and I see you’ve had some really good advice from others already.

It’s a really difficult one. Despite all our efforts, and a good amount of external ‘evidence’ to the contrary (6s in SATS, a couple of scholarship offers at 11+) DS just seems to have grown up thinking he wasn’t as academic as DD and at times has been at risk of that becoming simply ‘I’m not academic’. He attends a highly selective school (different from the one DD was at) and his dyslexia was picked up quite late (Y8) so I don’t think it helped that he was surrounded by high achieving peers who appeared to be doing so effortlessly and there were certain things he was struggling with.

What we have tried to do is play up his strengths and encourage his interests. DS and DD are very different in many ways so thankfully they don’t really overlap. DD is very good at doing this too; she will often say to him things like ‘I wish I was as good at X as you’ or ‘you look at things in such an interesting way’ and because he holds her in high esteem it seems to really get through to him (plus she’s mostly foul to him so he knows it’s genuine when she’s complimentary!!)

To be honest, I was absolutely determined that he was going to do as well as he possibly could at GCSE because I knew how important the results would be for the way he saw himself moving forward. I got him organised, helped him sort his notes, helped him draw up a revision timetable, and made sure he stuck to it. I printed reams of past papers, marked them, etc etc etc. In fact, most of mumsnet would have called me an insufferably pushy mum! And I don’t regret it for a minute, because at that stage he needed the support and over the months I’ve seen his confidence grow and he’s finally understood his potential, without reference to DD. His results yesterday confirmed it (he was beyond ecstatic, and utterly shocked, when he rang me with them) and I cried my eyes out when we came off the phone. I have no doubt he will now fly at A Level.

I guess what I’m saying is all you can do is reassure your DD2, emphasise her strengths and wait for time (GCSEs will soon be forgotten) and a bit of maturity to do its work. She’ll be really feeling it right now, I can remember DS quietly saying the same thing to me when DD got her results, but things will calm down once they’re back at school and normal life is resumed.

It’s very tough though!

Gosh I’m so sorry, that was an essay!

Cheryl that has made me well up. Well done to you and your lovely family.

It's a tricky one. DS1 is my high achieving DS academically, and DS3 certainly felt some pressure to be as good as him. They are also very similar in their strengths, with maths being their obvious talent.

I think DS3 is quite stubborn and determined to forge his own path, though. He deliberately chose different options, history rather than geography, Chinese rather than French and music rather than electronics. We also have DS2 in between who is so completely different academically which has acted as a buffer.

Personally I think DS3 is just as smart as DS1 but he doesn't put the work in. He was seen as the smarter one in primary school because he was an astonishingly early, self taught, reader, while DS1 struggled with reading for years. I think it has made DS3 lazy as he didn't have to try too hard.

Sooo, actually, I have no advice! Except maybe don't do what I did!

DS2 wrote in the card he gave to DS1 yesterday: "well done but I am still going to beat you"
Not even any punctuation. In his head its all one breath.
Sibling rivalry is something else!

What year is your DS2 going into, whistl?

GCSEs will soon be forgotten

That's certainly true. DS1 can barely remember what he got. The same will be true for his A-level results in a year or two.

TheThird year 10

So you'll have A levels and GCSEs in 2 years time. That'll be fun!

Yes, I can't wait!
I get to relive the last 11 months with DS2 and learn about A levels, university applications etc with DS1 and even better I get to do it all at the same time!

whistl come and join our DC1 A-Level/DC2 GCSE thread in a couple of years! There are lots of us in the same boat.

There is definitely pressure (self-induced) on DD2, especially as she has chosen so many of the same subjects (they are utterly different in so many ways, but strangely share the same academic interests. Except for Art. DD1 can't 'Art' for toffee!)

I happen to think DD2 is actually a lot brighter than DD1, but she doesn't work as hard, doesn't have any confidence in her abilities and can't seem to manage her time at all. I will need some tips on how to support her, Cherryburn!!

Yay whistl me too - gosh I can hardly wait!

Cherry not Cheryl - sorry auto correct. Not sure if you are a Cheryl

I bumped into Cheryl Baker (Bucks Fizz fame) in a lift on our cruise a few weeks ago. She hasn't aged badly at all. This could be promising for Cherry if she is really a Cheryl!