Page 22 | GCSEs 2018 (18) Well that's all over, let's get the party started

hmcAsWas · 27/08/2018 08:45

I don't know where the 'Gee' came from

Sostenueto · 27/08/2018 08:54

No offence taken whistl I think that A levels may suit dgd better in a way because she will be doing research and reading around the subjects, fact finding and learning as she goes which she loves to do.. The trouble is she is a perfectionist and always has been. She clearly didn't know everything or her grades would have been all 9 s but she knew enough and that's what mattered. She will always be anxious and drop a grade or two in exams for that reason even if she knows everything. She won't relax under exam conditions but she is learning bit by bit and the experience of GCSE his to cope with multiple exams. Sometimes you cannot change the way people are and if you try too much then trouble could ensue. We supported her, tried to give her self confidence and lots of love and she got through very well. Of course we are worried about his pressure will affect her but as long as she can tell us his she is feeling ( which she does) then we can step in with the support. Uni doesn't suit all and we will cross that bridge when it comes. I know my dgd so well and can spot when pressure is hitting her before the tantrums come and so can her DM. DgD is intelligent enough to know her learning strategy may have to change ( with a few pointers from me) for A levels and any advice will be welcome to help us help her.

Original poster

Stickerrocks · 27/08/2018 09:00

One of the biggest issues I have with my own students is that they can't get to grips with only needing 55% to pass an exam, with first time passes in all exams being far more important than winning prizes. I constantly repeat the phrase that they must be "Consistently Mediocre". I actually think that this year group may be better at appreciating that because they haven't had the buffer of coursework to protect them and have had so much pinned on end of course exams. Surprisingly, we find that students sitting 3 exams at a time get stronger results than those sitting 1 exam per sitting, perhaps because the fear factor kicks in and forces them to work like ours had to.

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Oratory1 · 27/08/2018 09:23

I think we need to recognise the difference between working lots of hours and unhealthy perfectionist tendencies. Not suggesting for a minute any of our dc fit these categories but they are different. Some dc genuinely enjoy study and put the hours in happily with no ill effect. Perfectionism is something different.

It seems like we all learnt a lot about our dc (and ourselves) in the last few months which will hopefully stand them in good stead next year.

AlwaysHid1ng · 27/08/2018 09:55

I’ve found these threads incredibly supportive and, while I may not contribute as much as some of you, I do try to keep up with everyone and the information shared over the last 12 months has been invaluable.

My DD, although not in the same category as many DC on here with their majority 8-9 grades, achieved the highest results she could, given the significant issues she experienced throughout year 11 with her ongoing health conditions.

She is delighted with her 7&8 in English, 6s and 5. Beyond thrilled, as are we. She was so, so poorly that we truly believed everything was going to be a below 5 grade. No special considerations were awarded, even though we’d been told she was eligible. It’s all her own effort, which makes it even more impressive.

So, for us, her results exceed the 8s and 9s she originally hoped for because she faced them under such difficult circumstances and she is beyond thrilled at meeting the entry criteria for her choice of sixth form.

Going forward, she is going to have to balance health with study and my job is to facilitate that. I’ll be needing moral support here as I have no doubt it will be a challenge!

I value the opinions of you all and enjoy seeing everyone’s latest news - I cannot plan ahead, with uni hopes, etc but I can offer supportive and encouraging words to those who need them, while leaving the experienced amongst us to provide the information needed for A level study and beyond.

We all have a place here. Everyone has been made to feel welcome, in my opinion.

cubscout · 27/08/2018 10:35

beautifully put Always. Your dd is awesome. The strength to carry on under extreme pressures is something to be very proud of and will hopefully put her in good stead for the future.

jenthehen · 27/08/2018 11:00

Can I ask for some advice regarding telling grandparents exam results?Like the rest of you I’ve been going through a whirlwind of emotions the last few months doing my best to keep my ds motivated yet not stressed. Results day was a real stress point, not because I was desperate for him to achieve but I really wanted him to be happy. I’m not sure if I’ve handled it the best way I could though. The background briefly is that I’ve been NC with my dad and virtually NC with my Mum for several years. They live very close to us but were very reluctant to help or even see my children when they were little. A family dispute in which my dad said some really hurtful things to me has resulted in the situation. When I speak to my children they tell me not to worry as they don’t miss what they never had etc etc
Spring forward to results day and my parents were texting, ringing and bombarding both myself, my son (who had done the exams) and even his younger sister. I responded politely that he’d done really well thanks and secured his place st 6th form. They continued to bombard us for his actual grades. I’ve remained calm and just said that he’d done well and we’re really proud of him but what I want to say is that they’re complete cf’s and it’s none of their business as they’d made more texts and phone calls to us on results day than they’d done in the last 8 years. I now feel that I’ve possibly deprived my son of shouting from the roof tops how well he’s done.

AlwaysHid1ng · 27/08/2018 11:22

@jenthehen.

No helpful advice here, but we are also NC with parents, extended family and we’ve felt very similar guilt about recent events.

My DD is truly not bothered as she remembers only too well the stressful events that led to it all going wrong.

We’ve made a big celebration within our family unit, which is more than enough.

Ours have no way of contacting us, which takes the pressure off slightly.

So I just wanted to send from someone who understands.

Oratory1 · 27/08/2018 11:26

I feel for you in that situation and inderstand some if where your coming from.DS was always locally sort of the lovely boy who struggled in class or the bright boy who didn’t do well in exams. He went to a school that none of his peers or friends kids went to and when asked i am politely saying he did better than expected or we are really pleased whilst inside wanting to, as you say, shout his actual success from the roof tops and wanting everyone to know the details. But in reality I also know that wanting everyone to know how well he has done is for me not for him - he doesn’t care one jot and I’m guessing your ds won’t either

LooseAtTheSeams · 27/08/2018 11:26

Jen I think your original response was perfect! You could just reply that the grades have all changed since your day and it would be very complicated to explain but that they can rest assured he's done well.
Always I absolutely agree that your dd is awesome. I know you'll get lots of support here but I'm also sure she will continue to amaze you!

LARLARLAND · 27/08/2018 11:35

Does anyone have any advice on remarks (reviews)? In three subjects DS is off the higher grade by one, two and three raw marks. School have advised reviews and we have agreed but is it actually worthwhile and is it usual for grades to rise?

jenthehen · 27/08/2018 11:41

Thanks Always, that does put me at ease a little, to know your DD feels as she does also shows that they cope better than we think. Sometimes I wonder if they try to protect us. Oratory and Loose, thanks also for you comments. I have been beating myself up about it but I’ve got a really happy son and part of me does wonder if they were secretly hoping for disastrous results so they could continue to mock me as “I thought you were the clever one” or to try and seek some pleasure if we were struggling etc but we’re not, we’re super proud of him, not only for his results but because he’s a super human being all round. Thanks.

LARLARLAND · 27/08/2018 11:58

jenthehen We haven’t told any family members DS’ exact results. They are not happy but that’s our choice. DS and his DGM have fallen out over it but DS is determined to keep his results private. He also did well. You are not alone!

LooseAtTheSeams · 27/08/2018 12:07

LarLarLand it's not usual for the grades to rise but it does happen and sometimes by quite a bit. The difference now is that they don't remark the paper but review the standard of marking so if someone has been too harsh it could certainly push an answer up into a higher band and attract the 1 or 2 marks needed. There is an outside chance the reviewer would move it down a band but this isn't likely if you're at the top end of the grade boundary. It's more of a risk lower down.
I mark exam papers and if I got that advice from school I would still put in for a review.

jenthehen · 27/08/2018 12:08

Thanks Larlarland, well done to your son too! I think there are more in this situation than we realise, perhaps we need our own NC with GP thread? Social media is awful for showing how blissful some extended families are and my heart often sinks.

AlwaysHid1ng · 27/08/2018 12:12

I removed myself from social media for that very reason and to also ensure we remained anonymous following the decision to go NC.

You’re not alone and if you’d like to take this off thread and DM, I’d be happy to do so.

Original poster

Stickerrocks · 27/08/2018 12:18

Jen we were all chatting about this a couple of weeks ago and several of us were actually going to find it easier to broadcast the results on here for various reasons, so we could get heartfelt congratulations from people who have been on the same journey over the last year than in real life. I actually think the answer lies with your D'S, because they are his results not yours. If he would like to send them a text message giving as much or as little info as he choses, he can. You've already shared as much any reasonable person could in polite conversation, now the rest of it is his decision.

Larlar at the end of the day here it would come down to money. I think it 8s between £30 to £46 per paper, so you could be looking at £300 for all 3 papers. I'm in the fortunate position to be able to affording, but (with my accountants hat on) I understand that grades only rise in 18% of those papers reviewed, so the cost/benefit isn't worth it. If it was in a key grade, such as 3 to 4 or 4 to 5, I would probably take the risk, but I would hate to build DD'S hopes up when the reality would probably be no change.

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Original poster

Stickerrocks · 27/08/2018 12:21

But I would be guided by Loose, not me (especially as I can't even type coherently!)

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Oratory1 · 27/08/2018 12:30

We have gone for one but I haave told ds not to expect anything as it’s unlikely to change and only done it because a 9 in his a level subject would be amazing - and I do feel a bit uncomfortable about it because I don’t really agree with questioning results just to try and get the next grade up - someone has to be at the edge. I would normally only query if the result was a real anomoly. I guess it depends how much you are bothered about the next grade up.

AlexanderHamilton · 27/08/2018 12:40

We are still debating.

The grade boundaries for AQA higher French are 132 for a 6 & 152 for a 7. Dd was 4 marks off a 7 & she did feel she had done well on the papers. If we went for a review it would be two papers.

AlexanderHamilton · 27/08/2018 12:41

Its her only Grade 6. She has 1 Grade 7 & the rest 8’s (with two 9’s)

whistl · 27/08/2018 12:42

Jen if they are good, then I'd normally wonder why you wouldn't want to tell people? I know that's different from many on here.
However, in your parents case, I'd have four issues:-

Suspicion: What do you want the info for (given you've shown no interest until now)?
How dare you try to bully me into giving them! (for that reason alone, I'd be inclined to withhold them)
If this is the start of you trying to re-establish a relationship, then I want to know your level of commitment as I don't want my son messed about with (and btw reason 2 isn't a good way to start trying to rebuild a relationship)
(question for yourself), These results might be good, but how will it feel if you get the same bombardment in 2020 and this time you don't want to share them because they are disappointing results? In that case, you would be better off having established the precedent now.

Oratory1 · 27/08/2018 12:58

Wow Alexander those are seriously good results. Very well done to your DD

LooseAtTheSeams · 27/08/2018 13:08

Stickerrocks no, you're right to highlight the cost. It is an important factor - and you have to decide how much it matters to have the higher grade. At college we're prepared to pay for them but we're only dealing with a very small number of reviews as we just do maths and English at GCSE.

jenthehen · 27/08/2018 13:19

Whistl, these are all things I’ve considered along with the fact that his cousin didn’t do so well last year, (his results were never revealed to our family but I know he couldn’t do A levels) and I’m sure they wanted to use my son as a comparison!