GCSEs 2018 (14): the aftermath

[mmzz]

Following on from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/secondary/3275972-GCSEs-2018-13-Untwisting-our-knickers-lucky-for-some

I had a conversation with DS2 this morning about measuring himself against DS1. DS2 is in year 9, about to start his GCSEs and a very different character to DS1. Basically what came out of it was that DS2 is pressurising himself to be at least as good as DS1 in everything ( every GCSE, socially, height, strength, everything!).

It's hard to know how good DS2 is academically (the school reports don't give any hint).

However, I'm not happy with the way he's putting pressure on himself already.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Oh yes. DS3 wants to be as tall as DS2, do as well in maths as DS1 etc etc. Luckily DS2 is not bothered by comparisons with his brothers. DS3 could do with a bit of DS1's work ethic.

Well done to your DS Ellen
Mmzz - glad your DS had a good prom experience.

DD went to Warwick Uni Biology Lab Experience today and loved it, a lot of the DC were from the year above but didn't phase DD and she seems to have met a really nice girl who also wants to go into Pediatrics they will keep in touch and meet up....

Wimbledon yesterday was brilliant - so glad we had Court1 tickets - Cilic/Pella match was close and tense....nice to really chill out with DD although it seemed odd to be drinking Pimms/Cider with your 16 year old.

Great IB results from DD's school today one girl getting the full 45 (top 0.1% of all IB students) brilliant achievement.

DD has a friend (1st year) at Pembroke College Cambridge studying Economics and the main stipulation of her offer was a Level 7 Higher Maths (IB ) which is very hard to achieve (but she nailed it)...so offers were geared to very high achievement in Maths...she's planning on working in the City.

Dd going into London Pride tomorrow with friends - so its packing time for me and maybe watching a certain footy match.

Ellen quality result!

Teen Look out for Britannia 24 hours ahead of you & if I see you, I'll wave! I must start to pack...

DD has re-accepted her 1st choice college tonight, but switched her A level choices, so English Language is top & Politics is now 4th. She has decided to consider whether It's really worth putting herself under pressure to excel at 4 and do her EPQ on a political theme instead. We await 23rd August with baited breath.

I think my two sons might not be related!

DS1 really driven academically, very motivated and ambitious, loves learning, essays, etc. Also very solitary and self-reliant. A leader, doesn't care about the herd. Tennis, badminton, swimming are his sports although he follows football and knows a lot of facts. Career plan mapped out - Oxford, investment banker, millionaire

DS2 "too cool for school" but works hard because hates to be bad at anything. Clever but unmotivated by academia. Reading, essays, thinking - all boring. PE and hands-on stuff is brilliant. Looking for a practical career in building or sport. A follower, can be led astray. Team sports all the way. And very able at any sport he tries. Also left-handed, which adds an unusual twist into our family of righties. Has no desire to be like DS1, and in fact finds as many ways as possible in which he is better (except in his grades!!) Competitive is DS2's middle name.

I find it all fascinating!

Thanks all. We're going out for tea to celebrate.

Ellen well done to your DS1!

My three are all so different and with SpLDs and medical conditions in the mix it sort of negates competition. I was worried about DS dyslexia and lack of confidence having more impact when his sisters got A*s at GCSE but thankfully the school has been brilliant for him in raising his confidence in other ways and it hasn't mattered.

May be your DS2 mmzz needs to find his own 'thing' where he can achieve in his own right in something his brother doesn't do and become his own person.

We had family friends where the children were all so competitive when they were young to the point that a success for one, or even birthdays etc, were really difficult to handle and caused all sorts of problems in the others. They are all really close and supportive now in their twenties

Tonight's drama has been DS2 discovering that DS1 had some of the left over pizza for lunch that I made for DS2 last night. DS2 even competes over leftover pizza (& takes umbrage when he loses out)!

Unfortunately both boys have dysgraphia and both are better at maths than anything else. By personality they are polar opposites though.

Cold pizza wouldn't last long here either, but it would be me raiding the fridge, not DD.

One of my twins (end of Y9) tries to be competitive with his siblings, especially with his twin sister. None of them really respond to it, so he runs out of fuel.

Thankfully he and his sister attend different schools with completely different ways of grading and reporting progress, so it will be difficult for him to make any direct comparisons until Y11 mocks.

None of the others attempt to compete with DS2, I think they see him as being on a different plane of existence.

Not sure if you are still reading, @Sostenueto, but just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and hoping that your treatment is now successfully finished.

My eight DC - four girls and four boys, all singletons - went to the same school so comparisons were inevitable but they're all incredibly similar academically, though with different interests. Perhaps the syndrome is more diffuse when there's more than two. They joke about doing better than each other but anyone who pushes it is knocked back pretty fast so that's a good extra layer of levelling.

DD is an only so no competition here, but she does compare herself to her cousins.

So, DD and friend went to one of the Prom after-parties (but not the Prom!) - I picked them up at 4.15 this morning. First time DD has ever been to a teenage party. Her friend had two ciders and DD had a bottle of water! Just about to wake her up for her five hour dance class

8!!! One & done here. DD says we couldn't improve on perfection. We say that we didn't want to realise what we were missing!

Bet you're popular Jufus

Definitely advantages to one and done Stickerrocks!

Not a single cat's chance that I'd have gone out at 4.15am Jufus, I just don't have it in me :)

I come from a big family, my dad from a bigger one (8). You get a lot of cousins that way!

My parents were both onlies, so I Don't have a single cousin. Technically DD does, but 2 have serious SN and the other two live 500 miles away. Hey ho.

DD is my eldest DC, but she does have 5 cousins. One has sat his GCSEs this year too so direct comparison amongst wider family he is on course to get top grades.

Really makes me cross all the competition within family. Eldest cousin made to interview stage for Oxford Uni but went to another RG uni instead graduating with Masters degree...

DS has 3 cousins who are also taking their GCSEs (England) / Nat5s (Scotland) this year. I've made an explicit pact with my siblings that none of us will engage in a conversation with anyone that compares their efforts or attainment. I feel quite strongly that this was the right thing to do.

However, oddly, that doesn't apply to cousins on DH's side! I've spent 16 years listening to MIL praise one of DS's cousins for their achievements and all round wonderfulness whilst being completely silent about DS and now I can't help but secretly hope that DS blows his cousin away next month. I'll know if it's happened when MIL can't recall the other cousins results!

DS has a cousin who also took GCSEs this year. The cousin allegedly has done no work and doesn’t care. This means DS should come out of the comparison well. However, I am deliberately not going to ask in case he gets brilliant results on no effort and beats DS who revised!
Sostenueto hope you’re starting to feel better now - we miss you!
Yesterday, we dragged the dcs to Hyde Park for the British Summertime Festival and they enjoyed it despite having to hang around with us! We were very amused to see a lot of similar middle aged parents with 2 boys (I nearly started talking to a random boy thinking it was mine!) who were also there to see The Cure!

Padstow was full of teenage daughters negotiating with their mums to top up their levels of Jack Wills/Fat Face/Animal last week. They want us when we provide cash!

Well, I'm packed & ready to go. Ha det.

Hi all xxxx have been in hospital as was so I'll after treatment. Family been busy in garden for me catch up soon only now back home xc

Sostenueto hope you are able to get some rest to recover. The garden looks lovely and tranquil.

Afternoon - hope all are enjoying this weather!

DD has her NCS meeting on Tuesday and then Prom on Wed - finally - and now not so great as England are playing that night! She has just informed me that 3 or 4 of her friends are coming here first to have their photos together in the garden - sh*t will have to sot the garden out tomorrow night and put some colour in the four pots, and tidy the house and put away all the crap! I asked whether the parents were coming too - one dad is staying in car and is bringing two of them, so just need to find out abut the other one - level of cleaning / tidying depends upon who comes! Typically got an old bed in the lounge ready for tip and then all the stuff I have bene gathering for the primary school leavers party !!! Argh - kids!

I see we are still on thread 14 - managed to keep it short and brief here since the exams have finished!

We went to another school to look at 6th form - it is a selective school on the outskirts of Liverpool, with a good reputation - however, it was a whole school open day and she decided 5 mins in to the journey that she didn't really want to go to the school - despite me asking that question 5 or 6 times - how are you going to get there (2 buses and over an hour versus 20 min walk), who else is going there, why do you want to go there, etc etc. Typically had to rearrange stuff to take her and hen she says that! So we drove up there as it is near where I stayed as a student and she was horrified at the type of roads I lived in - no fancy student blocks in those days! Also the place was heaving with hundreds of kids and nowhere to park, so we came home again!