GCSEs 2018 (12) Are we nearly there yet?!

[mmzz]

mmzz none of us should feel as if we have to apologise for helping our dc! The extent of help will vary with each dc and their particular needs/wants but I can't believe anyone would criticise - and if they do, then ..... Some people are unable to separate 'pushy' from 'helpful' and 'supportive'. I know from experience that couldn't push ds if I tried.

I think that support and help organising will pay off in the future too- if dc learn how to organise work and revise effectively then it will not be such a shock gong to uni and having to study independently.

The professional exams I teach for have a flat 50%, 55% or 70% pass mark, which results in a pass rate as low as 28% for some of my subjects in some sittings. Luckily my classes usually get around 90% through with the odd global prize winner thrown in. Sometimes you look at a student who has failed with 49% and think that that's not fair, but that's life. Better luck next time (if their employer doesn't sack them as a direct result of their exam results).

cubscout there was another thread a few months ago, a sort of spin-off thread from these GCSE ones, where the posters were falling over themselves to demonstrate their superior parenting and laissez-faire attitudes by not helping their DCs prepare. Most of the posters on that thread were very keen to set themselves apart from those on this thread in a way that I thought was a bit sneering.
In end the thread it degenerated into an argument and the OP flounced because some posters were saying that maybe a little bit of help wasn't OTT.

Since then, I've been conscious that there are people who reading these threads who do so to feel superior about themselves.

I would describe parents and grandparents on here as supportive, not pushy.
Roused DS from his slumbers - he thinks AQA higher Biology was ok although some of his friends said it was the hardest exam so far! Geography was ok but his hand hurts from writing so much! Let him go back to his nap!

Absolutely!!!!

No one on here has come across as a pushy parent (and I know quite a few in RL in that category!!) only as parents who give a damn and will help their DC. The world would be a far better place if all parents (and grandparents ) gave their DC the support you guys do.

We are all hoping for them to do their best - no more, no less.

So here’s to everyone on this thread

We’re nearly there!!

My experience has been the opposite. I have been less involved than I envisaged. Partly because DS didn't want me or seemed to need me we shall see if he was right on the 23rd. I did oversee a rough and messy timetable and on a couple of occasions he asked me to test him, mainly in Latin and French. So all my energy and anxiety went into this thread instead !

Cblue indeed!
It's really hot here - I'm amazed anyone has managed to write anything in an exam today!

where the posters were falling over themselves to demonstrate their superior parenting and laissez-faire attitudes by not helping their DCs prepare
Oh yes mmzz I read that one too!

So Geography OCR A paper 3 went very, very well according to DS. (It will be one of his A level subjects so that's a relief). I was informed this by text but when I called to ask what had come up he clearly was with friends and didn't want to speak about it in front of them. so I have to wait until he comes back from sitting in the park area in Cambridge!

I also read that thread.

Agree that for most dc you can't 'push' them - most teenagers are wilful and will do as they please. If they want to work - they'll work, if they would rather not - they won't. If you are fortunate enough to have a dc who wants to study and try hard for GCSEs its sensible and reasonable to offer help, support and advice

It never fails to amaze me the breadth of what people think of as 'good' parenting - or that's it's OK to sneer at others approach. What a sad society we live in. I am 'that parent' who always limited screen time - with the result that ds has only played his PS4 a handful of times since Easter and is pretty self disciplined about turning it off. But the number of comments I have had over the years.......

BTW, can anyone link to that thread/ I'm intrigued now!

@brainmelt - and there’s more than sitting down and overseeing their revision. There’s pointing them to revision notes, buying stationary, listening to the meltdowns, giving pep talks, suggesting the take breaks supplying cake cake and more cake, getting them up early, making them sleep, getting them to school, giving them a work ethic
The list goes on.
There’s more to this parenting malarkey than just the final few weeks. The support we have given has come in a variety of ways depending on what our individual DC needs (one size most certainly doesn’t fit all).

I haven’t given DD a huge amount of direct support but have piled on the emotional support and love.

So if anyone is reading this and think we are wrong....,sod’em

- for all of us!!!

I completely agree that others often confuse "supportive" with "pushy".
There is no doubt that the parents (and grandparents!) on this thread are nothing but supportive.
There is also no doubt that the DC who generally are most likely to achieve their potential are the DC with supportive, engaged parents.
It's a fact I've seen evidence for again and again as a KS1 teacher, and absolutely think it becomes more important the older they get.
And that's all we want - for our DC to achieve their potential.

that thread

cblue oh yes indeed I have done all that especially the pep talks! So still the "involved" type whether I am aware or not...

Well I should have known that mmzz would have the organisational ability to beat me to it! Actually, I got distracted reading through it again.

I would add that there are a few posters on this thread who were on that thread. Its not a problem. I know you either not thought we were all hyper pushy, or, at least you don't now.

Thanks. Interesting reading... most of the posters appeared to be supporting their dc, so why the competition to be the most hands off...?

I said it on there and I'll say it again, I'm here because I like the chit chat!

cubscout I think it's the parent of teenagers equivalent of being the first one to tell your DC that Father Christmas doesn't exist "because I could never lie to my baby". Out-cooling each other, whilst ordering the revision guides regardless.

mmzz I am one who participated in that thread with a different name not because I agreed with the title but because after reading the title, the OP's intro post was different to what the title had promised. She instead went on about how her child not doing any revision. She sounded pretty anxious to me for someone who "didn't care". She even complained her DH didn't care as much as she did. At the time DS was doing very little revision too. The she totally flipped and said that's not what she wanted to talk about ... I say this OP was in denial.

Don't get much in the way of feedback from DS but he did say the two today were " good" so that's a relief especially for a rare "double" day.

As we were standing in the kitchen he did count off how many he's done and how many to go - exam timetable is on fridge door 😊
21 down and only 3 to go!

So I think yes, we are nearly there yet!!

On the subject of being involved or over involved the thing is incremental improvements make a difference with any performance don't they?
If I get him up in time to get a few Weetabix in him before his morning examit might just push him up a few points over that grade boundary.

After five years of study and 12 years of schooling since reception in a way it would seem silly not to?!

Plus it's nice to have company through this whole thing isn't it? 😀

The OP of that thread had been on these threads first (no. 4 or something like that).
I think her basic point was that her DC was hopefully off to Oxbridge all without any help from her, and maybe she could do something to support them, or even just be informed about what they were up to, but... nah! Then she started her own thread to see if anyone could out-compete her on the high achievement / low effort ratio.

Well thankfully all our DC have survived today quite nicely which is great!
terf terf well done to your bouncy child!