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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

GCSEs 2018 (4 already)

999 replies

Stickerrocks · 24/02/2018 20:56

Following on from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/secondary/3152060-GCSEs-2018-3

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
LooseAtTheSeams · 19/03/2018 16:18

Oddsocks note sounds good and the chat in the car - hope your dd gets the help and support she needs. Thanks

BlueBelle123 · 19/03/2018 16:37

Oddsocks I know someone in similar situation and they sent an email to Dr beforehand detailing all their concerns......Good luck I hope its a fruitful appointment.

Original poster
Stickerrocks · 19/03/2018 17:27

Oddsocks I agree with the others about putting it in writing. My DH has had a difficult appointment with his elderly mum & a hospital consultant today, where he had to repeatedly correct her. It's not helpful to their relationship and I think the same would apply if you tried to "prod" the doctor, in case your DD thinks you are contradicting her. It would also allow the doctor to focus on the underlying issues rather than having to go over all the base work first. Keep it factual, but it will help her GP send a very limited time slot more effectively.

OP posts:
Oddsocks15 · 19/03/2018 17:33

Thanks everyone, didn’t go down the note route in the end. We discussed in the car points she needed to raise. Did get a few raised eyebrows from DD but mostly went okay. I asked to leave the room to give her some space. Dr was guided by her and referred her to PCAMS

Teenmum60 · 19/03/2018 18:00

@oddsocks - Well done on the way you handled the situation by leaving the room ...glad the Dr was guided by your DD and hope she gets support asap.

JufusMum · 19/03/2018 18:11

DD is doing very minimal if any revision. Seems to have ground to a complete halt. Just tried to speak to her about it but shes gone off to her room in a massive sulk

Oddsocks15 · 19/03/2018 18:13

Thanks Teen went into the Dr at the end and he gave me a summary of their chat which also included going on the pill Shock which she had declined. She wants to go down the specialist mental health route, so that is next step. From talking to her on the return journey I sense she feels happier that she has been listened to today. Dr was slightly reluctant about referring DD to specialist mental health as he didn’t want to label her, but she is happy as she feels like she is moving forward.

mmzz · 19/03/2018 18:13

I'm glad things are getting sorted out for your DD, Oddsocks. It must be incredibly stressful for you. Flowers

mmzz · 19/03/2018 18:14

Oh no, Jufusmum! Do you have any idea why?

drummersmum · 19/03/2018 18:16

oddsocks just caught up with all this. I am happy for her and you as it sounds like something is finally happening towards help and better things x

JufusMum · 19/03/2018 18:38

Mmzz its just like she can't be bothered. Shes always tired, ill or laying in bed. Yet she cooked me dinner tonight without asking and she will spring into action when it's time to go to dance school. Anything but revision. She's really academic it's frustrating.

Teenmum60 · 19/03/2018 19:08

@Oddsocks15 Sounds like a very good DR....

A friend sent me a useful link today which I found helpful www.dsb1.ca/Programs/MHWB/Programs/Documents/Straight-Talk-About-Teens.pdf

@JufusMum Getting balance right is difficult - I keep on trying to be hands off. I know when DD does revise she works hard but she does see it has a chore -I know the biology teacher stated she was concerned that a lot of girls had not started revising yet when she asked the class today.

Original poster
Stickerrocks · 19/03/2018 19:54

Jufus This is so common. DD has been known to help empty the bins if a Spanish test is looming. Nudge but don't nag.

Odd Phew & hooray that things are going in the right direction.

OP posts:
LooseAtTheSeams · 19/03/2018 20:03

Oddsocks good to hear it went well for both of you today and dd is feeling more positive because the Dr listened.

Oddsocks15 · 19/03/2018 20:06

teen we have never seen the Dr before but he was recommended by the surgery as dealing with teenage mental health. He also had the added benefit of looking like a famous ish actor off the telly that I can’t quite place! He did suggest that DD thinks of something to look forward to after GCSEs have finished which i thought was a lovely idea and happily sharing with you all. Thanks for the link, much appreciated x

Oddsocks15 · 19/03/2018 20:09

Jufus wish I had some advice for you but know exactly how you feel

Sostenueto · 20/03/2018 04:37

**oddsocks glad that progress is being made for your dd and think you handled things very well indeed. Wish the best for you both.Flowers

mmzz · 20/03/2018 06:13

Last night, I burst into tears as I was talking to DS1. There had been the tiniest bit of an edge to the conversation but nothing to get upset about. It just came on the back of a few weeks of some other really worrying stuff that is unrelated to DS1.
He started hugging me and fetching me a tissue while I sobbed.
Isn't it supposed to be the other way round, where he's the one who is stressed out and I'm the one comforting him? God, I feel guilty.

BlueBelle123 · 20/03/2018 07:07

mmzz I hope your ok and things sort themselves out for you soon.

In relation to your DS don't feel guilty he is growing up they don't suddenly wake up one day an adult its a slow process and he's clearly on the right track Smile

Teenmum60 · 20/03/2018 07:16

mmzz Flowers Your DS sounds lovely and sometimes its good to let out our emotions - better than keeping them bottled up!

KickBishopBrennanUpTheArse · 20/03/2018 07:24

Hi all. Just delurking to say thank you for this very useful thread.

Also @jufusmum my dd has been very similar to yours. Lots of good intentions but always too tired or too ill to manage much more than the school day.

She was also struggling with her moods and had dropped everything outside of school including seeing friends.

We found out yesterday she has low vitamin b12 and low iron. I've been reading up on it and it would explain a lot. I'm really hopeful it might help her energy and mood in time for exams.

I hope your dd has a positive experience with mental health services. That will be our next stop if b12 injections don't make any difference.

Oddsocks15 · 20/03/2018 07:33

Aww mmzz Brew Cake I am sure your DS understands, the last few weeks have been challenging for us mums x

Teenmum60 · 20/03/2018 07:38

@KickBishopBrennanUpTheArse

Hope the B12 injections help with your DD and she gets her energy back.

LooseAtTheSeams · 20/03/2018 07:50

B12 injections help quite a bit - I have to have them following a bad anaemia experience a few years ago and I know a 19-year old who has benefitted. They do wear off quite quickly in between so you do notice the difference at the next injection!
Mmzz hugs! Your DS sounds lovely! Thanks

LooseAtTheSeams · 20/03/2018 08:51

DS went off to additional maths test this morning looking like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. I'm glad he cares enough to be bothered, but it's an exam he really doesn't have to take if he doesn't want to. I think he's more bothered it should be his decision and not someone else's!

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