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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

GCSEs 2018 (4 already)

999 replies

Stickerrocks · 24/02/2018 20:56

Following on from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/secondary/3152060-GCSEs-2018-3

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
mmzz · 16/03/2018 20:32

I've just seen another thread currently near the top of the secondary education list. It is sort of one third discussing this thread, one third saying how "hands off" parents ought to be and one third mildy criticising "stressy" parents. TBH I've only skim read bits of it.

"Hands off " was the phrase I used yesterday on this thread to the OP of the other thread, the difference between us being I was not being critical of her approach.

We are on thread 4. Its been interesting and I've started to get familiar with you other regular posters. I realise that I've made the classic mistake of thinking that no one else was reading. Apparently, quite a few are and they don't like what they are seeing.

Sostenueto · 16/03/2018 20:34

MmzzFlowers

BlueBelle123 · 16/03/2018 21:23

I would like to think that this thread was for all parents with DC doing GCSE's whether they are stressed out, hands on or off!!

We all have very different DC from very different backgrounds that all have their own strengths and weaknesses and as their parents we are all just trying to do what is best for them personally. No one method would suit all DC and people should just concentrate on what's best for their DC instead of worrying what others might or might not be doing. That's been my approach anyway Smile

mmzz · 16/03/2018 21:30

I would like to think that this thread was for all parents with DC doing GCSE's whether they are stressed out, hands on or off!!

That was the original idea, i think.

TBH I read the other thread a bit more fully after I posted and it descended into a bit of a bun fight.

Oddsocks15 · 16/03/2018 22:18

I would like to think that this thread was for all parents with DC doing GCSE's whether they are stressed out, hands on or off!!

Agree mmzz and Bluebelle

AlexanderHamilton · 16/03/2018 22:20

Dd was sent home early today with another headache. We are going to get her eyes tested in case but I wonder if it’s stress related with a heavy week of audition & 2nd mocks. (It appears 1 lot of mocks are not enough!). She’s also been trying to get in for some of the early morning science sessions which means leaving the house at 7am & getting home at 7.30pm.

Also had an email about Saturday morning Maths sessions. That’s going to please everyone as they will miss an hour of dance each week.

And with appalling timing dh is taking her to London on Sunday for a workshop but Mondsy is the annual Yr 11 londin trip meeting at 6am to get the train so she’ll be going all the way there & back twice in two days.

TheSecondOfHerName · 16/03/2018 22:23

I commented on the hands-on vs hands-off thread to point out that my approach has been completely different for DC1 and DC2.

mmzz · 16/03/2018 22:30

AlexanderHamilton could the eye pain be due to the low winter sun? The optician was telling me this is the worst time of year for sun damaging eyes. Maybe it's just something like the orientation of her desk at school

AlexanderHamilton · 16/03/2018 22:34

She’s had splitting headaches. The other thing she’s been doing is Tassomai on her journey to school in the morning on her phone. I’ve told her it’s better to do it on her larger tablet.

mmzz · 16/03/2018 22:38

I'm only suggesting the sun because I was signed off work for a week once due to headaches. Turned out it was down to sitting by s window long at a screen with the sun coming in behind the screen for a large part of the day.

Oddsocks15 · 16/03/2018 22:42

Agree second already know my approach will be different with my DT currently in y9. They are so lazy....

No further news here about Easter revision...

AlexanderHamilton · 17/03/2018 00:09

I will Quiz her when she’s better and try to find out if there is a pattern.

But she has been staying up later & getting up earlier recently.

mmzz · 17/03/2018 07:10

You do what's right for the child concerned. I tried to leave DS1 to it at first, but he got stressed because he knew he had to revise (the school had made it very clear) but he had no idea what he was supposed to revise and it seemed like an impossible mountain. After I started to show him a do-able route and give him words of encouragement, he noticeably relaxed.
DS2 on the other hand, is a different personality and he will be better off with a different approach.

The major difference between this year and previous or future years is that the exams are all new. No one knows what to expect, or how much you need to be able to do to get the grades you need.

LooseAtTheSeams · 17/03/2018 08:06

I'm pretty hands off with revision apart from chivvying him to go to revision sessions and buying revision books. There's not much I can do anyway.
However, the coursework for 2 of the GCSEs has caused a fair amount of stress! It is horses for courses, though - DS2 would probably have got it all done by now!

Original poster
Stickerrocks · 17/03/2018 08:25

I piped up on the other one to say that I'm enjoying this one because I'm not allowed to know what she's doing, so I'm forced to be hands off. DD is my only one and if we make a mistake in our approach, we can't rectify it with the next one. I'm enjoying the whole year 11 chit chat & support & if anyone wants to drop in or drop out, that's entirely down to them. Surely by posting on any thread in the Education section, you are "hands on" anyway!

OP posts:
mmzz · 17/03/2018 08:29

I'm not hands off (I don't think that will surprise anyone) and I am not ashamed of it. I did most of the subjects myself and I help where and when I can:

  • making a revision timetable
  • checking the exam timetable
  • giving him a place to study and a bookcase on which to keep the books so he can work in a clean space
  • making DS drinks, bringing snacks and offering words if encouragement
  • teach him bits he gets stuck with (if I can)
  • finding resources for him (books etc)
  • testing him, if he asks
  • making sure that he takes breaks and has a day off per week
  • finding him a suitable exam pen (dysgraphia issues)
  • generally making time for him, even when it's inconvenient
mmzz · 17/03/2018 08:33

Is your DD fiercely independent by nature, Stickerrocks? My DSIS has always been like that and it has stood her in good stead in life.

LooseAtTheSeams · 17/03/2018 08:56

mmzz see, to me your list sounds very supportive! I think parents should help where they can - I had to get involved in art coursework not because I can draw better than DS (I can't) but because he didn't understand how it was assessed and was getting upset and demotivated. If I'd ignored this and left him to it he'd have done no exam prep - which is marked - and would have just given up.
I also get tons of emails from school telling me to make sure DS is doing things and as I'm supportive of the school as well as DS, I tell him what they've said. I find these emails the stressful part (so many!) and come to this thread because we're all in the same boat and can help each other! The tips here are great - we can pick and choose as we wish.
There's a difference between not wanting to be told and getting stressed. DS isn't stressed!

LooseAtTheSeams · 17/03/2018 08:59

Oh, and I also like the pup photos!Smile

BlueBelle123 · 17/03/2018 09:01

In relation to DS's revision the only input he has requested from me is snacks and drinks!!!

But he's very driven unlike anyone else in the family..........I do wonder if it has something to do with all the sport he does, as he is so use to training hard over the winter for the summer season, as he knows the more prepared he is the better he will preform and it seems like he has taken this approach and applied it to his exams.

DoNotBringLulu · 17/03/2018 09:32

When I started the first thread it was to open discussions on how best to support our dc, I felt worried about the difficulty of the new GCSEs and before I realised there are great resources out there for revision, had a bonkers idea of doing last years English Lit exam paper myself! My ds certainly won"t get top grades, all any of us can ask for is their best. I seem to have become very busy so don't post often but I've found it helpful.

Anyway....my ds is going to the prom!! He has left it to year 11 but also seems to have made more friends albeit they just play computer games while chatting. I am looking forward to picking him up a suit....a work colleague tells me Primark cater for very slim 28" waists& they are nice suits, (I don't want to spend the earth & he is not interested in clothes) my hairdresser is lending him a pair of brogues. When my dd is year 11 I won't get away with Primark! I am glad he is going.

snozzlemaid · 17/03/2018 10:01

My ds was reluctant to go but he said it was the best night of his life. He loved it.
Dd on the other hand is so excited that I'm afraid it won't live up to her expectations.
They have theirs before the exams start so not long now.

mmzz · 17/03/2018 10:06

I've certainly found these threads supportive. It's a shame that some of the posters on the other thread didn't.
Without this thread, I'd never have heard of Tassomi, or got those good revision tips about looking at broadsheet opinion pieces. Mainly though, I'd have felt isolated when trying to help DS through it. It has been the sense of not being on my own that has been the greatest benefit.

BlueBelle123 · 17/03/2018 10:19

I can see why some people wouldn't want to remain on this thread or indeed join, as with DD she did nothing despite my unhelpful nagging!! and to read what other DC are doing or what their parents have managed to get them to do where you have failed is stessful........I was incredibly stressed with DD's GCSE's and I choose not to be part of a thread as it would of done nothing but compounded my stress levels further!!!

Oddsocks15 · 17/03/2018 10:39

Yep I’m with stickerrocks, my DD is fiercely independent too, although I do have 2 other DC. I like the chit chat too and the supportive nature of this thread. I’m finding the secondary school years isolating.

Oh and it is very lightly snowing here!!