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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

So where's this years Trinity/Whitgift/Dulwich/Alleyns thread

999 replies

soooooooknowwhat · 05/01/2018 21:18

And any other schools you may wish to add... Have used threads from the previous few years as part of my research and ds sat Trinity today! I'm more of a lurker than a thread starter but decided to bite the bullet and offer a hand to hold. Good luck to all dc's sitting exams over the next few weeks! Grin

OP posts:
JasmineJasmine · 02/02/2018 00:21

Thank you for my question about City or Trinity matter. They are all valuable! All assessment is done, now just waiting, while my DS not studying at all.

My DS complained he can feel his eye sight is getting weak and the teacher told him to get glasses. ....sigh, is this the side effect of studying? I didn't really limit the time of spending in front of PCs, maybe that's why? I will talk to the teacher to let him sit closer to the white board. In the meantime, I will take him to optician to get eye sight test and will start doing some eye muscle straining. Also set the limit of video games. This time, he is completely listening! I will not get the glasses straight away, want to see if we can recover his eye sight....

Hope your DSs are all fine.

Firefox1066 · 04/02/2018 12:12

Well we are moving into the start of the final week of torture! How are you all finding it? I had put it completely out of my head until yeseterday when another parent texted me about their DD being on the wait list forPHS.

Now I'm back to overanalysing the interview comments and generally starting to fret a little...

Hope everyone else is holding up ok..

Firefox1066 · 04/02/2018 12:13

I should add, my DS is completely oblivious to it. Hasn't once mentioned it since the interview!

Tolacar · 04/02/2018 12:59

It's killing me! Having to book up my days to keep me busy! Can't bear it....
DS doesn't understand why they need so long to decide! 🤞

spacecadet48 · 04/02/2018 15:38

Firefox1066 it feels like an age! My DS is quite happy chilling out. We have had to focus on my 3yr old as well who had his ducks assessment. Thankfully only took a week for the outcome! I just hope the mail comes on Friday and not Saturday!

Wherearemymarbles · 04/02/2018 16:25

We’re quite relaxed at present. Luckily we have 3 outstanding state secondaries on our list one of which is a 10 minute walk. And we know the state system so it wont be the end of the world. On the other hand I have work colleagues who would die of shame if their children ended up in s state school!

Robotsandunicorns · 04/02/2018 16:53

The wait is agonising! My ds feels like it will be the end of the world if he doesn’t get into W. Trying to reassure him it won’t be.... all very stressful.

orangetiger · 04/02/2018 18:28

8robots* My DS will be the same if he doesn't get a place at W - that school definitely seem to inspire boys. is your DS 10+ or 11?

lilybookins · 04/02/2018 18:49

Blimey, ‘whereare’ - thank god I don’t know anyone like that - at work or in my personal life. Do you work in the City ?! I often feel embarrassed that my daughter is now at private school (state school till yr 7) and cringe when people ask me where she goes to school - I always have to tell everyone that we’re on a bursary, we’re not paying for it ! It’s hard as most of my friends and family are anti private school - I totally get that as essentially i am too. But when I realised the only school she’d get into (I live in London) was one everyone avoided and somebody suggested a bursary, I went for it. I know I’m a hypocrite

Robotsandunicorns · 04/02/2018 19:05

@orangetiger ... we are at 11plus stage

I wouldn’t mind state school, I went to state school and have still had a successful career. Locally though our state schools are under performing. There shouldn’t be a two tier system, but here we are...I guess we are all just trying to do the best we can for our children.

orangetiger · 04/02/2018 19:37

robots my son currently at state primary which has been good but we don't have any good secondary state schools or grammar near us i agree

isa2 · 05/02/2018 09:42

Just wondering if anyone has any thoughts or experiences to share about choosing between Trinity and the Sutton grammar schools? Do many people turn down grammar to go to Trinity or similar? It may turn out that we don't in reality have this choice, but my son passed for all the grammars and had a Sat interview for Trinity, our first choice independent, so we are thinking we might well end up having to choose between a place at one of the grammars and a full fees Trinity place and we are trying to think it through a bit as we may not have much time to decide. We have very much liked what we've picked up of the friendliness and creativity of Trinity and are leaning towards accepting if offered, but would we be mad to pay £16K a year for this if he could have an excellent academic education free of charge at a grammar? Paying fees is manageable, but not without pain. V interested in any thoughts!

Seeline · 05/02/2018 09:52

isa difficult decisions!

It's a few years since I visited the grammars but then the facilties at T were far superior. The grammars looked fairly old and washed out, but that may have changed in recent years.

How do the journeys compare - there is a lot to be said for an easy commute.
Any particular interests/strengths/hobbies that your DS has that might be served better by one of the schools? eg particular sports, music interests etc

In terms of cost - yes you have the fees at T, but beyond that I don't think there is too much difference between state - yes there are lots of trips on offer, but the compulsory ones are not too expensive (usually day trips). It is up to you whether you take advantage of the far flung exotic trip - numbers are usually fairly limited so no where near everyone goes. Uniform is not that expansive, with shirts/trousers and jumpers being able to be bought from high street shops. Packed lunches can be taken if you want, otherwise it's a PAYG canteen with card payment.

Any specific questions on T - I'll do my best!

MrsPatmore · 05/02/2018 10:11

Isa it's a very difficult decision and one we agonised over. Purely on an academic level the results will be the same. What you need to look at is the extra value in terms of opportunities. We picked a SS Grammar as we felt that the musical, travel and sporting opportunities at our particular Grammar were 'good enough' (although obviously not as comprehensive as the independents). Lamda etc can be done outside of school and as a family you can travel to exotic places.

We might reconsider for 6th Form as I feel smaller class sizes/really tailored support for A Levels will make a difference then (and of course we'll have saved £££ in fees towards a house deposit!).

isa2 · 05/02/2018 10:14

Thanks! Journey is better for us for Trinity just because the Dulwich route school bus would work well - otherwise a fairly similar 45 min train +bus (or train+train for Sutton Grammar). Trinity music is tempting as our boy likes singing and is good at it and also plays the trombone. But while he's quite musical (and we are keen amateur musicians too, so important as a family), he's no child prodigy and doesn't practice much, so I'm mindful of the possibility that he might arrive at Trinity and decide he's not that interested in music after all, which would be a bit galling! He does really want to go to Trinity though and I have a vague feeling that he'd be happier than at the grammars, which seemed a bit austere - but 16k is a lot for a vague feeling! May of course all be just hypothetical anyway if no offer.

Firefox1066 · 05/02/2018 10:25

isa only you really know where best your DS would thrive. We knew DS1 wouldnt suit a grammar and hence we didn't consider them for him and only did W and T.

However, if I was facing the choice, I would need to be VERY convinced that the £17k differential would be worth it!

I think Wilsons and Wally Boys are fantastic schools (don't know much about Sutton Grammar) and you're very blessed to have the choice.

Well done to your DS!!

Seeline · 05/02/2018 11:04

isa the singing opportunities at T are fantastic. My DS has had amazing opportunities (state primary, no previous experience, just picked out at a voice test all the boys do). He has sung at the main venues in London - taken part in operas, Proms, film soundtrack recordings etc. He has also been to Italy, Germany and Japan on tours. DS loved the singing as he didn't have to practice beyond the choir rehearsals (he'd tried several instruments but never got the practice sorted!).
Music in general is a big thing - as you will have guessed if you saw the new music department at the open day.

isa2 · 05/02/2018 11:10

One thing I wondered about the singing is what's it like once voices break? My son will be nearing 12 when he gets to secondary and he's already I think lost some top notes so he's getting to be more of a boy alto than a boy treble, I don't think he's got long before his voice breaks - is there still lots of good singing beyond the transition?

SoupDragon · 05/02/2018 11:13

We knew DS1 wouldnt suit a grammar

I turned down Wilsons in favour of T for DS2 for that reason. I felt T would manage his “personality” better!

Seeline · 05/02/2018 11:20

If they do a lot of singing it seems to delay voice breaking (at least in singing voice terms). But yes - the Choristers sing an evensong once a month-ish which is full harmony. They also have an annual course each Easter holiday where they visit an Cathedral and sing the services there for a week. There are also male voice choirs. There are occasional opportunities for the lower voices.
It is generally the unbroken voices that get to do the operas etc.

isa2 · 05/02/2018 11:21

Very interesting - it's so hard to get a real sense of the grammars as so very little opportunity to visit. What has made people think grammars are or aren't the right environment for particular boys and whom do you think they suit well? My son is very sociable and extravert, really interested in some academic subjects e.g. history but not a natural hard worker and not great at engaging in work that he is bored by.

SoupDragon · 05/02/2018 11:30

For DS2 it was because he is... um... immature is perhaps the best way of putting it. Class clown. T have managed this very well and ushered him towards maturity. I didn’t think the grammars (or W actually) would manage this so well.

Firefox1066 · 05/02/2018 11:48

DS1 was an incredibly studious but introverted child at 9. Hence we wanted a school that was going to bring him out of his shell and felt that the "showiness and braggadocio" of W would do that. We wanted him in a school of broader personalities and academic ability in order for him to broaden his horizons. He is still super academic but really has come out of his shell and thrived at W.

The other thing we had to take into account was DS2. He is... ahem... a live wire shall we say!!

Greenleave · 05/02/2018 14:02

I am sorry, a lurker here however I have a child who is doing 10+, can I have a question on state school report please. We are from state school and my husband made her application in which it doesnt say anywhere about her interest or extra curriculum activities(she does music, has recently passed her G7 piano and grade 5 violin) and the school contacted our current school for the school report today and I was only made to aware of £25 fee that I will have to pay without knowing about “the report”. The question is: how do I know what will be put into the report and whether it would have the points which I’d like to have been highlighted for my child, will the school report be a killer point. Thanks so much.

Firefox1066 · 05/02/2018 14:37

As far as I am aware Greenleave you cannot influence what is in the school report