Jokes which make you feel a bit clever

[noblegiraffe]

It has been a long term, how about something a bit more light-hearted? I'll start:

Today I couldn't remember the Roman numerals for 51, 6 or 500.
I was LIVID.

Three cats sat on a roof. Which one slid off?
The one with the lowest mew.

Two cats, called OneTwoThree and UnDeuxTrois were having a swimming race across the Channel. Which cat won?
OneTwoThree cat, because UnDeuxTrois cat sank.

Why were the Romans so bad at algebra?

They always ended up with X equals 10.

How many economists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, the invisible hand does it.

How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

1. 1 to change the bulb and 1 to hold the penis. I mean step ladder!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Philip Glass.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Philip Glass.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Philip Glass.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Philip Glass.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Philip Glass.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Philip Glass.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Philip Glass.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Philip Glass.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Philip Glass.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Philip Glass.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Philip Glass.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Philip Glass.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Philip Glass.
etc...

I've just clicked on cathpot's MATTER picture, and discovered it has another line at the bottom!

Can someone explain the Oct31=dec25 to me. My engineer husband doesn't get it either!

In Octal (base 8) the number 31 is equal to 3x8+1 = 25 in decimal (base 10).

I tried to start similar thread on primary for primary children. Didn't go so well.
Maybe primary teachers doesn't like jokes so much.

Oh thanks noble.
should have got that really!

Neutrino
Knock knock

A Christian missionary converted a group of snakes. He came back several weeks later to see how they were getting on, and found that they were busy chopping down trees.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "Well," replied a snake "you told us to go forth and multiply, but we're adders, so we're building log tables."

Why do Koreans walk in straight lines?

They have a supreme ruler?

Making a story up to a group of kids, their parents listening. Basically loads of animals and a kind elephant came to help out with a problem and on the spot I cleverly called him "Ben the Elephant...Benepholent". Looked at the parents and smiled as if to say "witty or what?". Only witty or smart joke I've ever made and it went over their heads.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

To.

To who?

No, to whom.