bert my point is that growing up with no understanding of how life is for others is not something that is exclusive to privately educated dc.
I'm in full agreement that some privately educated people have no idea about how bad uk poverty really is. And even some that do know will have the attitude that most are responsible for their own poverty. But I also think that the same is true for some state educated dc.
I also firmly believe that the main problem with deprivation in this country isn't just acknowledging it exists, it is the refusal to acknowledge why it exists.
Taking the old shoes example I bet your dd didn't see the handful of deprived dc at her school and come to the conclusion their parents were just lazy scroungers who spent their benefits on sky and drink over shoes and who could be more affluent if they worked hard. And I bet your ds didn't develop empathy and understanding about poverty simply because there were more deprived dc at his school. Their attitudes and knowledge will be down to upbringing, not their schools intake.
Plenty of parents choose state schools based on the intake too, and the desire to keep their dc away from undesirables, that isn't just in privates either.
My reference to the mail is because it is a simple way to encompass the judgement and lack of understanding around deprivation and how those in poverty live.
I live amongst it, and so I couldn't have sheltered dd from it's existence. But I could quite easily have sheltered dd from why it exists, and influenced her to think that in 99% of cases it is self inflicted and those people are all inferior, rather than less fortunate than her. And it's much easier for a parent in a mc area, even in a genuinely mixed school, let alone one that selects on religion/ability/postcode etc, to provide that sheltered bubble if they choose.