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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

girls school vs mixed (state)

76 replies

tw11 · 06/06/2017 13:48

Hi, we seem to have a choice between comprehensive mixed and girls school. Academic results of girls at these 2 schools are comparable - both are very good schools. Reputation-wise the girls school seems to get more praise... I'm a bit biased against single sex schools - but my DD seems to be very open to the idea, and has a slight preference for the single sex one, although that's only because one of her best friends will definitely go there.

What school would you choose and why - trying to put pros and cons on paper for both schools. We need to decide the order in which to list these schools on the application form.

Many thanks.

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Allthebestnamesareused · 06/06/2017 14:51

I attended both types a long time back. Personally I preferred it at the single sex school but if I pit my actual reasons here on mn I fear I'd be slated!!

Allthebestnamesareused · 06/06/2017 14:52

*put!

thethoughtfox · 06/06/2017 14:53

Girls are more successful at single sex schools. Unless there is any new research, research and data support this.

Floralnomad · 06/06/2017 14:56

If there is little difference I'd let your daughter choose .

Original poster
tw11 · 06/06/2017 14:58

@Allthebestnamesareused: really, I'm looking for pros and cons. Is this forum that bad for freedom of expression? I hope not :)

@thethoughtfox: when you say successful are you only referring to academic results?

OP posts:
Original poster
tw11 · 06/06/2017 15:02

@Floralnomad: at the moment my daughter is really not sure either, and we're discussing pros and cons.

I'm personally leaning towards the co-ed not only because of my bias against single sex (having grown up in a country with mixed schools I just can't get my mind around it) and also for practical reasons, the co-ed schools is a 10-min walk, the other one is not, she'd have to get a bus.

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Tumblethumps · 06/06/2017 15:07

Allthebest, why would you be slated? Lots of people prefer single sex. I attended a single sex school and hated it which has made me very pro co-ed. Plus I've got boys and girl so one drop off is much easier for me.

Tumblethumps · 06/06/2017 15:09

What hat do you mean by success, thoughtfox? Do you mean academic results?

Ratatatouille · 06/06/2017 15:12

I loved my single sex school. I was a self conscious and awkward teenager for a little while and found that I felt much safer in terms of being myself with other girls. Although I didn't go to a co-ed school, I have brothers and we attended a lot of mixed sex activities together. To be honest there was also much less mucking around and distraction in the single sex environment vs the mixed sex activities which at school is obviously important.

Tumblethumps · 06/06/2017 15:18

I think my DD would love it too, esp with 3 brothers but I just don't think it reflects real life and I remember the cliques which, even though at the time I was part of, make me cringe now. My DD is super bright but also very sporty and very pretty. She is confident and always surrounded by friends. I shiver at the idea of her being central to that sort of clique that looking back, must have made quite a few girls who weren't part of it feel isolated and sad. I know they still happen in co-ed but I think they're more tempered by the boys.

TalkinPeece · 06/06/2017 15:19

Is one of them a faith school?
Is one of them academically selective?
Outside London, all girls schools are always one of the above.

Seeline · 06/06/2017 15:21

I loved my all girls school. I agree that there was far less mucking around and distraction. I had an active social life so mixed with boys outside of school.
Both my DCs are at single sex schools and are getting on fine. My DD especially loves it.
What I like IME is that the girls can have a go at anything without subjects being defined as male/female subjects. Everything is an option.

Original poster
tw11 · 06/06/2017 15:25

They are both non-selective and non-faith - we're just lucky to be in the catchment area for both (there is no define catchment area, it's distance based, but looking at the past ~ 3 year history of distance it's quite clear that we will have a choice).

DD is an only-child and we don't have family locally. All her friends are girls, although she does get along quite well with a couple of boys in her class.

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Cambsnewby · 06/06/2017 15:27

I am pretty surprised that single sex schools are still a thing tbh! If you are asking for pros and cons- a big con for me is that we educate our children to believe that they can achieve whatever they want to regardless of their sex, that we all have the same rights, regardless of sex, so to me, it is a massive contradiction to then put them in a school dependant on sex.

Mary21 · 06/06/2017 15:49

Judging by your username I can guess the all girls school. If your dd is quirky or has any behavioural issues I would probably go mixed. Most non typical girls I have known struggle. However if this is not the case girls seem to do very well there and they do expect girls to work hard.

nocampinghere · 06/06/2017 15:50

i would go co-ed
if the results are the same, the co-ed school probably has better teaching, inspiration etc, as girls usually do better academically so if they aren't doing better that isn't a good reflection of the school.

hope that makes sense!

nocampinghere · 06/06/2017 15:51

and looking at your username the bus would be through Kingston and out the other side?
vs walking.
no contest.

Firenight · 06/06/2017 15:54

Single sex for a girl if I have a choice and it othwrwise would suit.

Out2pasture · 06/06/2017 15:59

Only my personal opinion!
Girls can be extremely cliquey and nasty to one another. I've seen many sweet smiling young ladies backstab and be hellish to others.
Later male female relationships seem more challenging for my family members who attended segregated schools.

Allthebestnamesareused · 06/06/2017 16:15

OK - here goes then - if I take any flack I'll blame you lot!

I do think girls perform better in an all girl situation as they concentrate on their studies more and less on trying to appear cool to the boys (whilst at school).

Classes can be geared towards that particular sex; both towards boys in a boys school eg. they can study "war" and other subjects that boys MAY find more interesting than girls whereas at girls' schools they can study subjects that girls MAY find more interesting eg. love and romance. This is where I think I may attract the wrath of some for such stereotyping. However, there have been studies on this which show that students will engage more.

There is less of an emphasis on certain subjects being "boys" subjects such as physics, maths etc. and therefore girls will be happy to speak up without the fear of looking nerdy.

Girls may be less self conscious in an all girls setting. Don't get me wrong there may be some "dressing to impress" etc but I do think it is less so in single sex, having been to both.

I also think there is more of a tendency to stick to school uniform rules in single sex settings.

I had a sister and no brothers but did mix with boys out of school socially etc so did know how to handle boys/youths/men as I grew older.

Cambsnewby · 06/06/2017 16:28

Boys-War,
Girls- Love and Romance

I feel thoroughly depressed

Cambsnewby · 06/06/2017 16:31

I think we should be teaching our children that there is no such thing as 'boys/girls' subjects, that they should feel confident to 'speak up' be it a boy studying poetry or a girl studying genetics! It's the 21st century people!!!!!!

Firenight · 06/06/2017 16:35

My experience of single sex education was the opposite! High take up of girls doing maths, sciences and other male dominated subjects without males to compete with.

nocampinghere · 06/06/2017 16:36

facepalm.

Original poster
tw11 · 06/06/2017 16:49

Thank you ladies this is very useful!

I'd say my DD is average, socially speaking - if that makes sense - not shy, but also not the leader type. She's not very competitive although she's very keen to participate. Has a couple of "best friends" in her primary and some outside school. Academically speaking she's doing well - loves reading and writing (top group in English - which is great IMHO - as English is not her first language) and also loves arts. She is in the 2nd group (out of 4) in Maths, at the moment. She's quite capable but unfocused sometimes - the only criticism we got when speaking to her teachers was that she's a bit of a chatterbox at times, but TBH her current school is good at managing that aspect. She loves sports although, as I said - she isn't competitive - just enjoys team sports, mostly. Not particularly musical but she does have a great voice and loves singing. The all-girls school does put a lot of emphasis on Music although it's not an admission criterion.

The other aspect that's perhaps relevant is that I'm a single mother and, although she does see her father regularly, it's only one day each week - so again, her opportunity to interact with males is more limited than in regular families. (whatever regular means these days).

The more I read about it the more I'm leaning towards co-ed at the moment, but I really want to weigh both options to make an informed decision...

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