Sixth form boarding school for anxious expat?

[dauntlesscrusader]

Any suggestions for a nurturing, supportive – and probably co-ed – boarding school for sixth form? DD is a study in contrasts -- intellectually curious and strong academically but in need of support (anxiety); shy but strong-minded and not easily led; musical and athletic, but plagued by self-doubt. If she were feeling more confident, I think Atlantic College would be a good fit.

I think she needs someplace where the emphasis is on the development of the whole student, that isn't packed with the hyper-confident or a particular "type" of person; where school is supposed to be stimulating and the students are interested in learning but where individual student goals are wider than Oxbridge entrance. Does such a school exist? There isn't much choice where we live, and she doesn't want to continue where she is.

She would be a full boarder, but has grandparents and sister in London, so could do weekly boarding if not too far.

My current list (assuming at least a few still have room for next year) is:

• Bedales ( "head, hand and heart" is perfect, but is it too North London trendy?)
• Bede's (same question)
• King's Canterbury
• Malvern College
• Oakham
• Oundle
• Rugby
• St Christopher's Letchworth (but is it too unstructured?)
• Sevenoaks
• Uppingham
• Westonbirt

Am I missing anything? Should I take any of these off the list?

Your list has a very wide range of schools. If you want small, friendly with great pastoral care then Westonbirt is the one to go for - though is very rural and quite the opposite of St Edward's in some ways. Small schools can have more of a family feel but of course there would be a smaller pool of friends too. Heard great things about Malvern too.

Lomond Schoo, 45 mins from Glasgow airport. Fits all of your wish-list. Worth checking out.

Bootham School in York. DD went there as a full boarder. Can't fault it. She joined 6th form as a bag of nerves, left two years later as an amazingly confident, independent young woman.

No entrance exam required for 6th form entry - just a good report & decent GCSEs. They even managed to get her to pass grade 7 violin which is. an astonishing feat as she is terrified of playing solo in public.

I would try and find a full boarding school where there are a good number of other expats. It would help to be with people who have shared a similar experience to your dd. If she's anxious and away from her family she will need people who will understand and know how to help her.

Interesting that you think she would not want to take entrance exams.
In your conversations with the schools I would be upfront about her personality and issues since the priority is to find somewhere that could help her be more comfortable with herself. Oundle, Marlborough and Sevenoaks are definitely off the list.
I take it she has no problems with public exams like GCSEs since most private schools will at the least request a minimum number of points from GCSEs for sixth form entry.

Talkin good as PS is she sounds better suited at this stage to a smaller sixth form with staff who can point opportunities for personal development her way.

If you don't mind exploring the South West, try Wells Cathedral School, it is is everything you have mentioned and will engage her musically. The moto Esto quod es (Be what you are) says it all. I was at a parent's engagement dinner last night hosted by Alistair Smith, world renowned they have engaged him to develop a unique holistic learning approach in the school. Best of luck!

How about a smaller school - Framlingham College - is full boarding but with a majority of weekly boarders but more full boarders at 6th form. Not too big, all over the 'whole child' ethos and is essentially non-selective so not an academic hothouse but brilliant support for those who are academically gifted as well as those not so much. Excellent sports and music provision too - in fact girls hockey 1st team just won bronze medal in the national finals ...so very much up there

also meant to mention its in Suffolk with many pupils pulling in from London and surrounds

Another Uppingham parent here (hello petrova). We've been very happy with the school for our (very different) DCs. From memory, there's a specific house for girls joining in 6th form, which might help with settling in if they are all new together? Pastoral care has been excellent.

Be aware that the new head has introduced fixed weekend exeats from the next academic year so your DD will have plenty of chance to get away to see her grandparents/sister .

Roedean and Woldingham but are lovely schools and offer full boarding.

I meant to say both Roedean and Woldingham are lovely schools.

King's Ely is a good all round school with excellent music opportunities. An hour and 5mins by train to London Kings Cross and a slightly longer train into Liverpool Street too if you need London connections.

I was also about to suggest Kings' Ely - fabulous for art and will care about your dd's issues with assessment.
I think Rye St Antony in Oxford may take a similarly sympathetic view.

The was a special house for new 6th form girls at Uppingham. It was horrible. Some rooms were facing a brick wall and it stopped effective integration. It is not gossip about the attitudes of some boys! My DD has friends that went there for 6th form and the girls were ranked out of 10. Existing girls probably didn't have the same problem. Some of the nicknames were equally unflattering. A friends' son was bullied there and was found miles away in a field after he tried to
Escape.

I think you will just have to look round. Also ask registrars about exams. Heathfield do not have them and I do not think Queenswood do either. You should look at less academic and below top tier. Weekend activities need to be supported. We liked Bradfield but the art was average and DD wanted this in particular.

Hi Mums, considering Kingham Hill in Oxford for Year 9 entry this September? Got a good vibe of the school but have concerns about the Academics and not listed as a good school guide. Any thoughts or any existing parent on board? Thanks

Sevenoaks would not be a good fit from your list of requirements.
There are lots of schools that aren't 'big name' that would be more suitable from a pastoral point of view.

Kent College? Mayfield?

Hurtwood House in Surrey might suit particularly if your daughter is arty (although it is also has good academics). It's sixth form only and very relaxed from what I hear.

I was just coming here also to suggest Hurrwood House, very strong musically and performance but also very good at drawing out the best in your child. No exam, references and informal interview. Very strong pastoral care and community and huge added value in the sense of getting the best out of the children. Co-ed and 6th form
only.

I'm pretty sure girls get rated out of ten at every boarding school FYI
They certainly did at mine and at many others that friends attended.
We also rated the boys!

Another vote for the Quaker schools, especially Bootham, York. 90 minutes from London on the train. No exam.

"Went there for 6th form and the girls were ranked out of 10"
"I'm pretty sure girls get rated out of 10 at every boarding school"
I'm not denying that this sort of thing goes on at many boarding schools it's inevitable when teenagers live together but it also goes on in day schools, youth clubs, scouts cadets etc so it certainly shouldn't put you off boarding. I worked in the private sector and was really pleased by how caring the majority of pupils were of each other.
IME of "big names" is that they can offer excellent standards of pastoral care they after all have the resources to do this staff are significantly less stretched, DS2's HM for example barely taught any lessons, his job was to look after all the needs of the boys whether they be academic or pastoral in his house. Parents paying the sort of fees "big names" are asking now have very high expectations of not just academic performance or sporty prowess but also pastoral care most parents don't want cold showers and keep a stiff upper lip and think of England ethos anymore. Small schools often just don't have the resources to do this. I would find out about things like are matrons fully residential in boarding houses and other what other staff residential AHM's tutors etc? Also opening hours of school medical centres and the qualifications of staff on duty especially at night. All of these can play a very important role in a boarding house/school and in pastoral care in general wealthy "big names" can afford to not only employ these staff of the right calibre but house them on site/in boarding houses.

I am paying 24k a year for a non 'big name', I really don't think that the fees or how the chattering classes revere them is indicative of their pastoral care.
I have a nephew at Sevenoaks and one in Tonbridge, I really don't think that Sevenoaks is in any way suitable.

Try Seaford College, West Sussex.

Very strong pastoral care, non selective but on the up. New head a couple of years ago and pupil numbers have risen 25%.

Still maintains its lovely atmosphere though.

Sarah like you I write from my own experience of both working in "big names" and having a DS who went to school one. We found the pastoral care at DS2's school to be absolutely outstanding his HM was frankly brilliant.
Through work I attended training sessions and met some staff from "non big names" as a general principle when it came to pastoral care they weren't doing more that we were and in fact they were often doing less due to more limited resources for example many small boarding schools don't have resident matrons but these can play a very important role in pastoral care as they are not part of the teaching team and therefore have a different relationship with pupils.
I can't comment on Sevenoaks pastoral care as I don't know much about it but I do know parents who's DC's are/have been there and talk very highly of it in general.
I think it also has to be acknowledged that it's perfectly possible for two children at the same school big name or non big name to have completely different experiences whether this is academic or pastoral care. Much of ones experience of a school's pastoral care very much depends on the individual staff you come into contact with.