Year 7 boys - disorganised and irresponsible

[Strix]

DS1 is quite academic and has started a highly selective grammar. But he is soooooo irresponsible, disorganised, and would lose his head if it wasn't attached to his neck.

He is sooooooooooo much work. I'm exhausted. People tell me it's a boy thing. Is it???

Do other people with Year 7 boys find them incapable of organising themselves.

Since September we have lost/broken:
4 iPhones
At least 5 Oyster cards
3 coats
A couple wallets
Several house keys
One complete spots kit (PE and rugby gear included)

DD is 13 and she has never lost a phone, Oyster card, sport kit, etc.

Am I alone?

My small low power phone is a quarter the size of an I brick and has a calendar and notepad function. There is also a thing called a wall calendar and a notepad which never needs charging and survives if dropped.

As does the phone, and it cost a tenner. No internet access but he is at school and doesn't need that out of the house.

Simplified life takes less effort.

"It's a boy thing". Is a phrase used to excuse male crappy behaviour.

It is never "a boy thing", or a girl thing. It is always a personality thing.

"A boy thing" removes the responsibility for a child's actions. They have a penis, so they act this way because it's in their genes.

Bollocks.

Unless they are forgetting to tie their belongings safely to their penis, it is not a boy thing.

Blimey, thank goodness my two boys didn't go through stuff like that. Why are you letting him have so much stuff like iPhones ?!

reallyanotherone totally agree

you do not send 11 year olds walking for an hour in any direction in London!

what a weird thing to say. Of course 11 year olds can walk an hour in London. Mine have always done so, and more, as do many others I know ( I walk two, sometimes, if I feel like it)

Why can an 11 year old get a bus in London but not walk in London?

Does he not care about the consequences? Or does he care but it doesn't seem to work anyway?

If the former you need to up the consequences. If the latter (and looking at other things you're saying) look at analysis for dyspraxia or ADHD.

I once watched TM with someone on who had Foetal Alcohol syndrome & apparently it can happen even if you only have a drop of alcohol in pregnancy. I don't usually drink but had been to a couple of Xmas parties & had a glass or 2 at those before I discovered I was pregnant with DD2.
She would forget her head if it wasn't screwed on & I often think of that TM episode & wonder whether I should get her tested...

FAS is extremely unlikely if you only had a small amount of alcohol in pregnancy. Dyspraxia/ADHD is much more likely. FWIW I have ADHD and I wasn't hyperactive as a child. It's not a necessary component, it can just be the disorganisation. (They sometimes call it a subtype - ADHD-PI).

Oh yes ds was like this is year 7, stuff left on the bus , lost his watch etc etc

We just went nuclear at him each time and he just got better at it

There are call boxes. Definitely in London there will be.
Open your eyes and stop being rude.

Although actually the only time Ds2 needed to call me and his phone stopped working (genuinely, for some random reason), he chose a passer by who "looked like a mum" and asked if he could use hers. I expect he was very polite and the fact that he was near his school and in uniform went in his favour. 😄

i'm not being rude actually. I know the town and school OP is talking about. This is a big town on london outskirts. I have looked for a phone box in this town and totally failed!

and no i certainly wouldn't send my dd, or a ds, walking home an hour away when they have no bloody idea of the way. it is a complicated one way road system, very busy roads, river, multiple routes to navigate. No way. So easy to get well and truly lost.

There are loads of phone boxes in Kingston!

But seriously, isn't it important that your DS can successfully navigate his way home if something goes wrong?

It's all very well him being very academic but surely you need to equip him with some practical life skills and common sense too?

amid You do realise that complicated one-way systems don't apply to pedestrians?
Really for 1 hour journey, you need to teach them the way. 11 year-olds are not incapable and they need something to fall back on when the trains or busses aren't working or when they lose their ticket. It cannot be so complicated that it is beyond their ability. They need alternatives - there must be a walking route.

So I posted this thread mainly because I wanted to gauge whether he was like other children or if indeed he is off the charts on his horrible disorganisation. I think I have my answer. Thank you.

I'm fairly amused at the accusations of me molly coddling. As I'm pretty sure I'm more more of the sergeant major type with high expectations for my children's performance. But this one is not rising to the occasion and can't just be left in the cold and dark to fend for himself. And there isn't an hour to walk to school in the morning. There is simply not an extra hour in the morning, and afternoon.

There is simply not an extra hour in the morning, and afternoon. of course there is, get up earlier. Its no great hardship, thousands of London school children do it, and I would suggest that your horror at this relative normal, limited exertion contradicts your claim that he isn't mollycoddled.

Again, amused at the accusation of molly coddling. You obviously don't know me. And have extrapolated a bit too much from the limited information on this thread.

you won't make him walk an hour to school.....

Of course not. And no one else would either.

How many hours of sleep do you think an 11/12 year old needs?

And no one else would either

I think you'd find it is fairly normal, for a child who loses their oyster card!

I think not. Now please respond to my question about the number of hours an eleven year old should sleep.

Op - you know your child best and I agree this wasn't really a thread about him walking to school, but...

Councils expect secondary aged pupils to walk up to three miles each way - it's why free transport only kicks in at 3 miles distance from school. And in most suburban or rural areas there isn't the option of paid for public transport. Kids walk - or cycle - three miles both ways every day.

I hope you can find ways to help him keep hold of his stuff better!

Oh now that's interesting. We live 3 miles away. Many kids live further. Are you saying the council should provide transport? (I think it's unlikely).

If it's your nearest school and definitely over 3 miles, yes.

But in London, that would be an oyster card, which is free for kids anyway, isn't it?