Page 4 | Temporary exclusion and threatened permanent exclusion

user1483060276 · 2016-12-30T01:22:08+00:00

I have a resolution meeting at the school in the New Year. Son (15) was caught with cannabis in school and excluded. They have also threatened to permanently exclude him. Has anyone been to an "resolution meeting", what should I expect, and how can I best prepare?

GingerHollyandIvy · 30/12/2016 18:59

Whoa!! Don't use ME as an excuse. I still think he was massively stupid for doing it and I think you're doing what is the equivalent of a pat on the head instead of getting across the message that he was monumentally stupid.

And you both are too arrogant by half, dismissing the fact that he broke the law.

See? I try to be reasonable and you act like I'm agreeing with you. I'm not.

GingerHollyandIvy · 30/12/2016 19:00

At no point did I say it was better to be "moral and healthy" rather than law abiding. FFS not sure where you got THAT out of what I said. I actually was pretty clear that I am appalled at the lack of concern or respect given by you and your son to the fact that he broke the law.

Original poster

user1483060276 · 30/12/2016 19:03

Erm, yes, I was disagreeing with you, GingerHollyandIvy.

OP posts:

GingerHollyandIvy · 30/12/2016 19:03

MNHQ - Please DO NOT delete this. She's not identified herself or her son. I suspect that she's angry that MN didn't agree with her.

This is a hugely educational thread for parents and I think it needs to remain up.

P1nkP0ppy · 30/12/2016 19:04

So because you don't like the responses to the fact that your son has cocked up big time and you view drug taking as no big deal, you're asking for the thread to be deleted.

Says it all really.

ilovesooty · 30/12/2016 19:04

Another poster requesting the thread is deleted because they didn't like the replies they got.

GingerHollyandIvy · 30/12/2016 19:04

Well, good. Because I strongly disagree with you.

Original poster

user1483060276 · 30/12/2016 19:07

I have asked for the thread to be deleted, because I think that I have got all the useful information I can out of it and it seems to have descended into a discussion about the morality of teen cannabis use, which wasnt really the point of the thread

I'm not angry, but I am quite taken aback at at the reaction, it has genuinely surprised me.

OP posts:

GingerHollyandIvy · 30/12/2016 19:09

The threads sometime morph into other discussions. As you no longer need it, and some of us feel it is educational, I hope that MNHQ will leave it up.

ilovesooty · 30/12/2016 19:10

I doubt MNHQ will consider that grounds for deletion. I hope they won't anyway.

SVJAA · 30/12/2016 19:11

I hope it's left up too (sorry OP) but I think that when people are advocating kids being cast to one side instead of educated because they've transgressed there is a need to challenge it. Too often the "solution" is to "get rid" of kids viewed as "undesirable" by certain posters and it really gets me angry. We have a duty to educate children, and when they fuck up, educate them why it's not a good idea. The concept of writing off young adults sickens me.

CotswoldStrife · 30/12/2016 19:13

OP, you've asked for the thread to be deleted? On what grounds?

CotswoldStrife · 30/12/2016 19:16

Ah, cross post!

I don't think it has become a debate about cannabis use so far but I can see that you have underestimated how other parents at the school may feel when they hear about this (and they will).

GingerHollyandIvy · 30/12/2016 19:17

Apparently because she's "gotten all the useful information out of it" that she needs. No other issues. Well, other than the issue that she's not happy with the way the thread went.

GingerHollyandIvy · 30/12/2016 19:19

I'm curious about whether or not the OP's son told them who he bought it from? And what happened to the other boys that "used" the weed as well? Surely people have discussed this, but I note the OP has not mentioned it at all.

Costacoffeeplease · 30/12/2016 19:19

You're still genuinely surprised at the reaction? Really?

Keep on like that, and good luck with the school - and your son's future - because you will really need it

I also hope mnhq don't delete the thread - there's no need

MargotsDevil · 30/12/2016 19:20

I've not made any comment on the morality of teen drug use although I am silently judging.

But to help clear up your confusion...

If a child is over 16 and is failing to comply with school rules (behaviour/attendance/effort) we can and will hand them a leavers form and remove them from the register. I have no idea where you've got the idea we can't do that from - but we can and do and I know plenty of other schools who do the same. Post 16 education is a choice. If a student makes that choice then they are agreeing to follow school rules. If a school feels that is not happening then they can act accordingly. Given your attitude towards rules/laws then I can't see that working massively well for your son.

BoneyBackJefferson · 30/12/2016 19:24

user1483060276
Wow, wait a moment.
He has a right to education up until he is 18.
He has a right to stay in a school he is enrolled in unless excluded
He has a right to have the school follow the law if he is excluded
He has a right to appeal any exclusion.

Two things as I understand them
1/ for the first two statements the answer is in a education establishment. Not necessarily in this school.
and
2/ this is a statement personal to me. (IMHO) he didn't give a shit about the law when he was breaking it.

So just because he wants to stay in this school doesn't mean that he will.

as for
but I'd be afraid that he'd see it as trying to force him into college.

He may not have a choice.

mythbustinggov · 30/12/2016 19:28

If the OP hasn't gone away, here is some information from someone who has been on the school side of the table in a number of these sort of meetings (in a Governor's Disciplinary Panel).

First, check the school's drug policy. It will be (or should be) on the website. That will detail the rights of anyone that contravenes it.

Second, despite a school having a zero-tolerance policy towards drugs, unless a student is dealing or using class-As in the dining hall the majority of schools will arrange a number of meetings - with the local community police, with a drug counsellor and with the Governors to help the student understand consequences, and to know where to get help.

You say this is a resolution meeting - this sounds like part of the process. DO NOT go in talking about rights until you have cjhecked the policy and know exactly what it says, as a Governor I can tell you the school will be putting the rights of the other students to be in a drug-free environment first. I would expect the student that supplied the joint tobe excluded - or put on notice of exclusion. Your DS should just get a warning.

I know the Scottish system is different, but the principles will be the same.

Oh, and by the way - I don't believe a toke on a joint is a hanging offence, but all rules are there to be followed, and those that don't need to accept the consequences which are (or should be) clearly laid out and trump the 'rights' you quote.

GingerHollyandIvy · 30/12/2016 19:29

but I'd be afraid that he'd see it as trying to force him into college.

He may not have a choice.

But he did have a choice. And he chose to break the law and the school rules. He wasn't forced to do this. He knew the score. It's not rocket science that if you smoke weed in school, there's a fairly good likelihood that there are going to be consequences that may affect your education path as well as career path.

He chose poorly. His priorities are poorly organised and I have a good idea where that came from.

BoneyBackJefferson · 30/12/2016 19:33

GingerHollyandIvy

that was what I meant, he has already made his choice :)
(the image may be in bad taste but I couldn't resist)

Temporary exclusion and threatened permanent exclusion

Original poster

user1483060276 · 30/12/2016 19:34

GingerHollyandIvy "whether or not the OP's son told them who he bought it from? And what happened to the other boys that "used" the weed as well?"

No, he refuses to say, except that it was an older child in school. The other children were searched by the police and their parents were informed of suspected drug use. No formal action was taken against them.

MargotsDevil - again, you can hand them a leavers form, but you cannot force them to sign it. And if they do not sign a leavers form, you cannot remove them from the register without a formal exclusion process.

BoneyBackJefferson - you are correct on 1, it can be any educational establishment, but for 2, if the child is already enrolled, they cannot be removed from the register without a formal exclusion process.

OP posts:

LunaLoveg00d · 30/12/2016 19:40

You're going about this all the wrong way OP.

SVJAA · 30/12/2016 19:41

No, he refuses to say, except that it was an older child in school. The other children were searched by the police and their parents were informed of suspected drug use. No formal action was taken against them
So all his pals who were equally involved left him in the shit? Charming

MargotsDevil · 30/12/2016 19:43

User clearly you are choosing not to believe me - as you appear to be choosing not to see that your son may have to face consequences that he may have brought upon himself.

There has been a lot of good advice and common sense from a number of posters however this now feels like an aibu - OP saying they are not unreasonable, everyone else saying they are, OP saying no I'm not ad nauseum.

At the end of the day I'm sure the school will be thrilled at your superior knowledge telling them how to do their job. Blaming the school for ruining (or trying to ruin) your son's future is nothing but a deflection though. With an attitude like this at home I think he needs a massive wake up call.