Help Me I'm terrified for my undiagnosed Aspie girl!

[OopsDearyMe]

My dd1 is due to start sec in Sept, none of the schools near me have good reps for SEN and even if they did my daughters STILL on the waiting list for an assessment to diagnose, so will be ignored. Waiting list is 2 years and she was on the wrong one for 1yr. I was severely bullied and hated secondary school social wise. How can I help her? She doesn't talk almost a selective mute.

you may get more insight and experience if you repost in the Special needs section, it is mostly ASD

start badgering her primary school NOW about a plan for her transition and don't stop til they come up with ways to help her. visit the secondary schools you have available and go straight to the pastoral care department and talk to them about your dd, ask what they do to help similar children. Don't be scared to ask probing questions. You will have to be proactive.

I agree with Brontebiscuits - you also have to talk to SENCos at both the school she's in now and the school she will be in and see what they can do. My eldest (ASD but no EHCP) had someone who visited him throughout Y6 and then throughout Y7 to settle him in and talk about any problems. They don't need a diagnosis though, if she's having problems they should be coming up with some help for her.

All SEN Depts are overworked and underfunded at the moment thanks to government cuts, so if you don't (politely but firmly) make a noise they will try to ignore your daughter's problems, especially if she's not causing problems in the classroom and she doesn't have an EHCP.

You will have to prepare to be a pest and fight her corner. Doing some research helps too - I looked stuff up I though might help, and would ask our SENCo about it (some of it was completely unsuitable, but some helped!).