Is it just us struggling or is homework/family time balance gone to pot?

[StormySunshine]

My DS is 14 and since last year things have slowly but surely got really hard to balance anything to do together as a family or even just for him to have some free time. He leaves home around 7am and gets home after 5pm or twice a week 6pm due to extra-curricular activities. Then he has at least 2 homeworks that take 45mins to an hour Each plus often another one/two smaller ones. So apart from having a family meal together, not much time left for anything else. Then weekends - more and longer homeworks, coursework, etc, etc to a point where we can't often visit family and friends because taking almost a whole day off is a no-no! AIBU or is this just crazy for someone who's still a kid to do more working hours than me?!

[MumTryingHerBest]

Bobochic Wed 07-Dec-16 13:17:35 And DCs who are brought up to understand that they have a weekly commitment to their GPs really are learning to prioritize family relationships.

Right and the ties in with your comment that parents who prioritise a visit with GPs are awful parents?

[GnomeDePlume]

10h per subject at A-level
So 40 hours, plus 20 contact hours a week. 60 hours a week - really? Sorry but I would hugely dispute how worthwhile that amount of work is each week. If you need to do that week in week out A levels are not for you.

If they are pursuing A or A* then they need to put the graft in. Four A levels is not always a good idea. A lot of uni offers are now only based on 3 A levels.

[Bobochic]

I didn't make such a comment.

[MumTryingHerBest]

Bobochic Wed 07-Dec-16 13:48:45 I didn't make such a comment.

Sorry Bochic, I misunderstood your post Fitting in homework on the bus and at Granny's house because your parents don't prioritise schoolwork is awful for DC.

[ealingwestmum]

If balancing of school work/home lie (whether driven by school, parents or both) was not such a potential ticking time bomb this would be funny now.

Not so successful here to be so smug on I've got it all right by my child and my parental skills are so bang on (clearly they're not be some standards).

Bravo to those that feel this smugness and resulting need to belittle those that are a little apprehensive about how their kids may turn out, or indeed, how they have turned out.

[ealingwestmum]

life, not lie urgh.

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

10 hours per subject at a level??? that's on top of the 28 hours a week contact time dd has. That would be almost 70 hours a week!!! Plus travel. That's entirely crackers

[GetAHaircutCarl]

The loose rule of thumb for A levels at DC's school is to match every contact hour with an hour of private study.

Obviously the later increases towards exams/course work deadlines etc.

The good thing is that the teachers seem to be very organised. Everyone knows what tasks need to be completed for when (with a fair bit of notice). Homework deadlines can be renegotiated if necessary (except where the H/W is prep/advance reading for a lesson IYSWIM).

[GetAHaircutCarl]

So example, you can go to a teacher and say you have a family commitment, and they may give you an extension.

[Bobochic]

Lucky your DC, Carl. I don't even know how to translate "homework extension" into French - the concept doesn't exist at the DCs' school

[Shameandregret]

This (and the education pressure) in this country is utter madness.

I have just graduated with a masters with merit in psychology and I can tell you now I didn't put in anywhere near the hours your children are doing. I had 3 dc's and 2 part time jobs and a FT uni lectures but the pressure your dc's are under from commute and homework sounds totally OTT. My eldest is 13 in Y9 and if I thought he was a slave to education in this way I would be questioning why the system, society and I, as a parent, was putting this much pressure on him. If you are aiming for A and A* at GCSE/ A Level with self autonomy, great. If you are aiming for it because your parents, school or society is expecting it, then that is a tragedy.

Education is NOT work. It's a pleasure and a (free in the UK) privilege to be enjoyed. Teachers 'expecting' 15 hours of homework need to jog on. Thank god they are not all like that. They are not addressing their employees. Too many of them weild a weird power trip, where they think time=results. It doesn't. Cognition, thought, imagination and application of critical analysis equals results. Not 15 hours a week.

[GetAHaircutCarl]

Don't get me wrong bobo they can't get them willy nilly, but like most things in life if you don't ask you don't get.

And of course, you're more likely to get traction if you haven't tried your luck too many times previously .

[GetAHaircutCarl]

shame all I would say is that in year 11, your DC will have the do the dull spade work.

Good GCSE grades don't necessarily come from cognition, imagination etc. They seem more like a test of grit, hard work and good administration skills.

The new GCSEs might be better? A teacher might be able to answer that? But I doubt it.

[Bobochic]

All mass exam systems are fairly laborious and routine. It's intrinsic to the concept and GCSEs and A-levels, which (greatly) value speed, are far from lesser culprits.

[GetAHaircutCarl]

At least when DS did IGCSEs they were terminal exams. So not much build up necessary until year 11.

The old GCSEs which DD did seemed interminable with all the bloody coursework which stretched throughout years 10 and 11!!!

At least this crop of pupils will be spared that lot of dullsville.

[StormySunshine]

Just had to report that have decided to drive DS to school in the mornings, starting today. Had to compromise on audio listening to great book instead of music .DS feels sick if he has to look down in car=same as me, so doing actual writing homework in the car would not work for him. I'll definately have to get to the bottom of the finish-work-in-class scenario in order to have as little to do at home as possible and make sure that's not part of the problem. Would work on the planning with DH who's much better than me at the weekend, especially since some of DS IGCSE tests start soon after the Christmas Holiday. Thank you particularly ealingwestmum and Seeline for letting me know I'm not alone. GetAHaircutCarl - yes, DS is aiming for A/A* but it's down to him (same as his school choice) with not much encouragement from us, since he's always been more academic and not very sporty boy who loves to read for pleasure. Guess it's he's focus/concentration must somehow be off, since his actual abilities have never been questioned and if they have I would have never encouraged him to join such a highly academic school... My suspicion too is that until recently he reached his high grades without putting in much work/effort and now is having quite hard time adjusting to the pace?

[StormySunshine]

sorry, his focus, not he's

[ealingwestmum]

Hope the change of transport works out for you both OP. The journey may also give you both time to talk about what's going on in his life. Even if it's 10 mins of download you may not have got before...

He sounds lovely by the way.

[NicknameUsed]

pestov your homework recommendations are totally unrealistic and unworkable. DD didn't get 15 hours a week in year 10 or in year 11. The school recommends an hour of homework per hour of subject taught at A level, and gets about 20 hours a week as she is doing 4 A levels. 40 hours homework per week is a recipe for total burn out. DD is shattered when she gets home from school. Doing more than 5 hours of homework a day is just never going to work.

[MyWineTime]

I am not convinced it's the schools driving this alone, but the parents' belief that this is the right thing to do to achieve great grades.
Yes this^^
There is a limit where more hours will not improve results.
Kids NEED time off for their brains to process what they have learnt.
1 hour per hour taught at A Level is more than sufficient. My DS gets the vast majority of his work done in his study periods.
During GCSEs he was doing about 5-10 hours per week so time off every day.

[GnomeDePlume]

StormySunshine I wonder if the combination of your DS' early easy success and your laissez faire approach is no longer working for your DS. He needs to learn how to study independently and effectively. How much of the time homework is taking is about him prevaricating and not getting started?

Your posts are very focused on the time homework is taking but what is he actually producing in that time? Is it worthy of the time he is taking to do it?

Time management is an essential skill for examination success. Markers can only mark what is on the exam script not what the student meant to write if they had got round to it.

[NicknameUsed]

"My DS gets the vast majority of his work done in his study periods."

DD gets 2 free study periods one week and 4 another. That makes 6 hours a fortnight. She can't get all her work done in this time. Plus, one of her friends keeps trying to talk to her while she is trying to work, even though she keeps telling her she needs to get on with her work.

[Wayfarersonbaby]

More hours work doesn't necessarily translate into more effective education - that amount of homework is far too much. Kids and teenagers need rest, downtime, time to do activities, learn other things, read, be bored - more and more assessment and more and more "busywork" does not equate to greater understanding, comprehension or mastery of a subject. If anything, school subjects are relatively easy and could be - ought to be - taught in much less time to the vast majority of students. At present they are padded out with a large amount of filler, repetition and to-the-test tickboxing. A bright kid shouldn't need that amount of homework (if any at all), and a kid who needs to work harder ought to be being taught in a different way more tailored to mastering the underlying concepts than the current secondary culture allows.

I work in HE and our students' confidence when they arrive is being trashed by the level of needless constant pressure over minor targets and assessments that don't really matter. At secondary level we ought to be teaching them how to work better, not harder or longer. Most working adults would go crazy at a desk job all day then having to work three hours in the evening. It's not necessary or productive - it's the wrong kind of work and speaks of our capitalist obsession with a very narrow definition of "productivity" which doesn't actually map on to genuine understanding or achievement, and certainly isn't a recipe for a healthy, well-rounded life.

[MumTryingHerBest]

Wayfarersonbaby - If anything, school subjects are relatively easy and could be - ought to be - taught in much less time to the vast majority of students.

If this is true then I am at a loss as to why some schools, including some Grammar schools, have moved to a three year GCSE course.

[titchy]

League table position of course. Grammar school kids certainly don't need to drop subjects in year 9 in order to make room for a three year GCSE. But given the high starting point of their kids they need to virtually guarantee As and A stars. Most kids would get those with less homework and a two year GCSE, but clearly the schools don't want to risk it.