Yr7 new starters

[simpson]

Hi...

Just wondering if other parents/kids are worrying about starting secondary school. We have had tears (from DS) tonight and we still have another week to go!!

I am sure he will be fine but I am worrying (as is he).

[colouringinagain]

Dd in tears this evening - v nervous again...

[steppemum]

Oh colouring

Do you think it is time to drop you tutor and email and let them know she is struggling?

[Titsywoo]

Did she go off ok this morning colouring? Sometimes they are most nervous about things in the evening/at bedtime when they have time to start thinking and worrying. I think they are all going to need a few weeks to settle in. DD has art today which is her favourite subject so I hope she likes it. If she finds that boring as well I may cry!

[steppemum]

dd panicking about pe.
she has to take earrings out or cover with tape.
She can't take them in and out herself, so has gone off with tape, a little worried.

school website says plain one colour studs, and says nothing about pe. She only has one pair of studds and she can't click them herself. She has only had them pierced since Easter and doesn't want to leave them out all day.

[oklumberjack]

My dd went off ok this morning without much angst. I hope it continues.

Over the weekend I didn't mention school much except to laugh about something to do with it with a big smile on my face (I still feel very anxious but am good at hiding it)

I think it will take a while for my dd to feel comfortable but if I'm honest with myself I think I knew she would. When started Primary it took her the whole of reception to relax . She was very confident and popular by the end of Y6 - and then we chose a different school to everyone else! I do make things hard for myself sometimes.

FB is all bollocks though. There's seems to be a trend/competition amongst my peers about who's child is ADORING school the most. I felt much better when I bumped into a good friend in Sainsburys. Her ds has just started secondary school with loads of primary mates and he's finding it a bit hard and a bit of a shock. As much as I don't want him to feel awful (he'll be fine) if definitely made me feel more normal!

[OldBeanbagz]

DS is on his fourth day at high school and it seems to be going ok. I'm still having to remind him what he shoud be packing in his bag each day but i'll put up with that for the first couple of weeks.

Apparently they did rugby on Friday but he didn't try too hard as the teacher would have put him into the more advanced group where there were more injuries . DS likes football/cricket much better so is keeping his head down this term!

The after school clubs start today so he has to remember to sign up for the ones he wants and find his way there. Fingers crossed it all goes well.

[Titsywoo]

More successful day today. She enjoyed art and didn't find anything too boring. More PE testing tomorrow and the day after which looks like mainly running so less scary than swimming for her! She was quite excited this morning that her new friend told her that one of the boys has a crush on her. Oh god here we go...

[colouringinagain]

Thanks Titsy. Steppe her form tutor is aware - I think it is just going to take some time. She was ok after school and dh is going into London tomorrow so they'll get the train together.

Titsy glad your dd had a better day. Rather you than me with the crush tho

Lumberjack I reckon yr right re FB!

Tomorrow is another day.... I'm just making sure I get lots of sleep so I don't run out of patience

[Wriggle45]

Does my DD win prize for being the first one to get the wrong school bus home? Ended up 30 minutes away from where DH was waiting for her and lovely bus driver sat in his bus with her until he got there..... Hopefully tomorrow she will check before getting on

[colouringinagain]

Oh no! Great bus driver though

[AChickenCalledKorma]

DD2 has also now declared that school is "boring" which I take to mean that the novelty has worn off and she has realised they are actually going to make her work. She also "loves" history and french. Except when they are boring, obviously. She's joined six clubs - at least two of which run at the same time - and either wants to do all of them or none at all, depending how tired she is when the subject comes up. Depending on her emotional state she's either hyper excited or sobbing because she doesn't want to go. It's exhausting!

[Grinstead]

Anyone else's Year 7 child finding the breaktimes boring? DD seems to be enjoying school and settling in but I know it will take her time as no-one else from primary went with her but she says that at break/lunch time children just go back to their form room and talk or sit on narrow strip of grass but are not encouraged to go on field and play - I find it really disappointing - what do your Year 7s do at lunch/break?

[TeenAndTween]

DD would like to play 'it' and stuff like that.
But it's not the done thing, and is considered babyish.

(I bet the boys can play football though)

[Titsywoo]

To be honest the breaktimes are so short they don't seem to do much! Break is 20 mins and they sit and chat while eating their snack then lunch is 45 mins and the canteen is tiny considering the size of the school so after queuing for 10 mins and eating it's nearly time to go back. The people who do the lunchtime clubs must all have packed lunches.

[Titsywoo]

I feel sorry for dd today though. It's so hot and they have to wear their very thick jumper and blazer unless the teacher says they can take it off. And some teachers are nicer than others it seems!

[Geraniumred]

Ours have a library they can use at lunchtime.

[AChickenCalledKorma]

DD2 is happy to sit and chat, but i remember DD1 (now in yr10) being really frustrated that no-one else wanted to run around at break times. Unless you play football, and are male, it seems active breaks become a thing of the past.

Joining clubs seems to be her main method of beating boredom - or going to the library and getting rid of homework so she can do something more interesting after school.

[FiveMoreMinutesPlease]

My DD loved running around and playing Harry Potter in year 6. I think it's a real shame that at secondary there is not the time to play like this and the fact that it's not cool. It's another stage in growing up.

[TaggieOHara]

Hope you don't mind me joining in the thread but I could really do with some advice/hand holding.

DS1 started Y7 last week. He was very tearful this evening. He says no-one has spoken to him since he started, except to answer direct questions. He doesn't think he will ever make any friends. I have tried to reassure him, but he is quite young for his age and can have trouble fitting in. He didn't have friends in Y6 and he was hoping for a fresh start (he is the only one from his old school). I think he has tried really hard to be positive and friendly.

He didn't manage to join any clubs as he got confused and missed the signing up session, which makes it more tricky.

I could email his form tutor, but I don't want to make things worse for him by getting labelled as 'that parent'.

[PonderingProsecco]

I would email. At least then an eye could be kept on DS.
I have had to email quite a lot due to my ds being injured at school.
I have found you do need to know who to email. A named person got quicker response than general school email. Eg, Head of House or form tutor.
Good luck!

[steppemum]

yes email form tutor.
They are very aware that this is a huge step up and that some manage it better than others. They want the kids to settle and be happy, so they will find ways of encouraging and supporting him.
At the veyr least he/she may be able to get him into one of the clubs.

[EndoplasmicReticulum]

Taggie the form tutor won't mind you emailing, they'd rather know there is a problem so they can help, and will be able to sort the clubs out for him (ex year 7 form tutor here ).

My boy is doing ok so far I think, apart from one trip to collect him last week when he couldn't find his way out of the building and missed the bus home.
i don't get a lot of information out of him apart from what he had for lunch, he is really enjoying the food.

[EndoplasmicReticulum]

He hasn't done PE yet though, that's going to be the tricky bit as he is hopelessly uncoordinated like his mother. I'm hoping things have moved on a bit since I was at school and he won't spend too much time being picked last for teams.

[oklumberjack]

Taggie, I would definitely email the form tutor. You won't be 'that' parent at all. They will have done this loads of times before. At the very least they could help him access the clubs he's like to join.

We can all hand hold together. My dd was one of 2 pupils going from her primary school. The school gave thought they were helping by putting them together in a tutor group. The thing is, my dd has always found the other girl intently irritating and they have nothing in common. My dd has been polite enough but is finding her old primary friend harder to manage than making new friends! I think it's more of a hindrance.

I'm still anxious about dd but I hope she's getting there. She's made a few connections but nowhere near 'lots' of new friends. Dd is normally very inwardly confident and is into comedy and impressions. She's joining the Netball club but is holding back joining drama club. I'm trying to back of and let her do it her way.

It's hard to see them not quite themselves yet though. It will just take time I'm sure.

[EndoplasmicReticulum]

To anyone worried about being "that parent" - in my experience as a year 7 tutor I was aware of the change from primary to secondary and absolutely did want to hear about:

• children who were anxious
  
• children struggling to make friends
  
• children feeling left out
  

so that I could do something about it, even if it was just keeping an eye on them, helping to sort out some clubs, or having a general chat to the form group about trying to include everyone and being friendly.
If you emailed me every day about lost PE socks, then you might be on the list as "that parent".