Yr7 new starters

[simpson]

Hi...

Just wondering if other parents/kids are worrying about starting secondary school. We have had tears (from DS) tonight and we still have another week to go!!

I am sure he will be fine but I am worrying (as is he).

[Titsywoo]

I'm still feeling a bit like I have thrown dd in the deep end. I know they are all doing it and she is making friends OK but the change is more overwhelming than I thought. Maybe more for me than her! When does it begin to feel like the new normal for them all?

[Geraniumred]

When they stop getting lost!

[simpson]

DS's school have said that they had today & tomorrow to get used to finding their classes but from next week if they are more than 5 mins late they have 5 mins detention which strikes me as a bit unfair but DS seems ok with it.

He met a kid at school today that he did a sport with a couple of years ago (didn't know the kid was going to this school) and he went & chatted to him.

He also found the 6th former who rescued him on the first day at lunch time who said DS could go up to him for anything.

I have asked DS to ask him his name. Do you think I would be out of order once we had 6th formers name to ring the school and say how impressed I was that he helped etc?

[normastits5]

Yes Simpson I would do that as this kind of support should always encouraged

[steppemum]

Hi again,
dd was in bed asleep by 8:30 last night! She is enjoying it, but the step up is huge!

I just want to reassure you all. I have al older ds who did this 2 years ago. The first week is the hardest and then they start to find their feet, especially with things like where their classes are etc. Most year 7 tutors and heads are really on the ball with those who are struggling, so do let them know. After 2-3 weeks, they are unrecognisabel as the primary kids they were a few weeks ago.

friendships - most who go up with friends from primary will not still be friends with them by Christmas, they completely change friendship groups and discover new people, so if you haven't got anyone from primary don't panic, there is lots of movement in friendship groups.

That movement goes on actually. Ds was close to a couple of boys in the first term, and then they drifted apart a bit as he found new friends and the boy he is closest to now he didn't really get to know until year 8, but he hasn't been friendless in between, just the ebb and flow of people and personalities.

I do remember 2 friends warning me though how tired they get in this term. By Christmas ds was on his knees, and he is quite a together kid, and I hadn't realised how hard he was finding it, so he was pretty far gone in terms of exhaustion before he sort of fell apart one morning.

November is the pits. Once they go back again after Christmas it is much much better, they go back to familiar school, familiar faces, shorter term and days getting longer.

[Fern1965]

Can't help but feel a bit bitter that my lovely DD is struggling so much :( All of her old friends are loving their new secondaries, making lots of new friends, having fun. She's the total opposite and I am resenting the fact it's so so hard for her and her friends are breezing through it. Just seems unfair.

[Fern1965]

And I'm aware how childish my post sounds - like I'm throwing a strop. But I AM happy that not everyone is suffering like my daughter, but we all want our children to be happy don't we?

[Titsywoo]

I doubt anyone is really enjoying it all and having fun yet though Fern no matter what they say. Your DD will be fine just give it time and lots of support and cuddles through this rough stage.

My DD was very nervous this morning as she is being tested for swimming (should be happening right now!) and she is scared of the deep end. I've done the lessons thing, swimming for fun thing and although she can swim she has never gotten over this fear. Hopefully she is ok and not panicking!

It's her birthday tomorrow so a fun weekend to look forward to :)

[Fern1965]

Happy Birthday to your DD Titsy, what have you got planned?

[oklumberjack]

steppemum, thanks for your reassuring post.

Fern, my (normally very confident) dd is struggling a bit too. It's just shocked her I think, huge amount of children she doesn't know, whole new massive building, new subjects, new teachers. She as no-one really from primary. She's making tentative inroads with people but no 'great mates'.
My FB wall is full of ex-primary parents from her school declaring how AMAZING the new school is and how their kids are ADORING school. My dd chose to not go to the school with all of them and I feel I've just made it harder.

I'm glad the first week is over. I'm hoping next week will be a bit easier still....and so on. It's just hard to see my dd not quite being herself at the moment.

[steppemum]

lumberjack. - she chose this school for a reason, get past the first week or two and she will remember.

dds friends are allsettling in well to their lovely school too. except I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole!

I know it is hard, but my mum always says we try to protect our kids from difficulty and instead we prevent them from learning important life skills, like coping with a new situation, learning that you can make new friends and so on.

[oklumberjack]

Steppemum, you're so right. Thanks

[colouringinagain]

Steppemum thanks for your lovely reassuring post.

Fern. I completely know what you mean. Lots of parents at dds old school going on about their kids having an amazing time. I'm just being honest - saying she's finding it v hard but doing well and I'm v proud of her. She was in tears at home this morning - really didn't want to go, but she said today was ok.

I am a wreck now though - had to have a nap today as feeling so drained.

Happy birthday to titsys dd!

[simpson]

Another great day. He got the bus for the first time too.

He made another friend in art.

I suspect that the kids have been put in their sets/streams already (going on SATS results I guess). They have CATS tests next week so will move some kids around but movement hopefully minimal.

Fern how was your DD today? DD (8) is the one who worries me when she starts secondary (on spectrum) as she finds friendships tough.

DS is at the amount of homework though (came from a no homework policy primary).

[simpson]

Titsy happy birthday to your DD

[oklumberjack]

That's great Unlockable. I'm so pleased for you and your dd.

A similar thing happened to my friends dd. She had an awful 6 months of Y6 Primary. She ended up at the same secondary school as most of the girls, but found completely new friends very quickly. She's now thriving.

[oklumberjack]

That's great Unlockable. I'm so pleased for you and your dd.

A similar thing happened to my friends dd. She had an awful 6 months of Y6 Primary. She ended up at the same secondary school as most of the girls, but found completely new friends very quickly. She's now thriving.

[oklumberjack]

Sorry for double post.

[Titsywoo]

That's fab unlockable :) so hard when they are being bullied. My ds has asd and had a lot of issues in the first few years of primary.

Thanks everyone. We are going ice-skating with her friends then having pizza and a sleepover.

[PonderingProsecco]

My ds was enjoying himself then got injured [accident].
So fed up he is missing school. Injury will cause problems for some time...
School seem to be saying right things so hope all will be well when he goes back. .

[TeenAndTween]

My DD is still fast asleep. She's only had 3 days of school, and no homework. Better go and wake her up I think!

[Titsywoo]

DD said to me tonight that primary school was much better than secondary :( I think she has been finding the lessons so far boring which concerns me a bit. Hope everyone's DC has a good week :)