Yr7 new starters

[simpson]

Hi...

Just wondering if other parents/kids are worrying about starting secondary school. We have had tears (from DS) tonight and we still have another week to go!!

I am sure he will be fine but I am worrying (as is he).

[PumpkinPie9]

I agree. The form tutor will expect the odd teething problem and want to help. I'm a year 8 parent and i emailed dd's form tutor at the beginning of year 7 about a worry she had and she was very helpful and happy to help. The thing is not to abuse it and constantly badger about unimportant things. You don't sound like you would do that anyway.
Re the jumper and blazer in a heatwave that someone mentioned. Dd's winter uniform is compulsory jumper and blazer too. Last year it wasn't a problem as it was cooler. It's been in the high 20s since they went back this year though and i told dd to keep her jumper in her bag after the first day and take her blazer off if hot at school and no one has said anything. I've been at the school (comp) long enough to know that the teachers there are reasonable, normal people and are not going to tell a hot child to put a jumper on in a heatwave. I probably would have worried more last year though, so you could phone reception to check? We belatedly got an update yesterday pm to say blazers and jumpers not needed in the heatwave anyway.

[yohoohoo]

Just had to pick DS up from School :( they said all morning he has felt hot headache and tummy pains, he'd been 3 times to see them (pupil liaison) they did say they try and keep pupils in class and did ask if everything was ok as he is a new starter. He did have a bit of a wobble last Wedn night a bit of a cry but I think it was just everything overwhelming him and since then he has been fine and we have kept an eye on him.

He did look abit peaky when I picked him up and was a little hot but it is warm today but we got home he went and got his packed lunch from his bag and ate it and seemed "ok".

I did ask if there was anything else but he said no. See what bedtime tonight brings :( :(

[AChickenCalledKorma]

[Sad] I am getting texts at work from DD2 saying she wants to come home, saying she's lost stuff, saying she's sad. She started pretty well but is now totally overwhelmed. I'll speak to her tutor but i wish i could wave a magic wand for her.

[simpson]

DS is up & down about it all. He loves the school & seems to be making friends well. He copes with the journey fine (bus) but is finding the amount of homework overwealming.

He also is very tired and has been a bit teary saying that it is hard etc (the length of the day and the amount of time they need to concentrate for).

He has signed up for the school football team though so he is very happy about that!

[Titsywoo]

DD called me this afternoon to ask me to pick her up because she was "in so much pain". Turns out they did something called the Cooper test in PE where they had to run for 12 minutes without stopping to assess their fitness. DD managed to do a mile but said some people did a lot less and a few were crying. Oh dear . She has now recovered from her terrible ordeal .

She had her first science lesson today and said it was very funny. They learned about reproduction which apparently meant they spent the whole hour giggling about words such as vagina .

[Titsywoo]

Sorry some DC are still struggling :( I'm hoping by half term this will become their new normal and they will be less shell-shocked by the whole experience! DD said today that it was far more stressful than primary.

[AChickenCalledKorma]

Titsywoo the Cooper run is an annual ritual at my daughters' school, too. I was really worried in year 7 when DD1 started complaining about serious leg pains. It turned out she had simply never exercised hard enough to experience lactic acid before!

I'm sure it's very "character building" !

[colouringinagain]

Dd still struggling here too. Upset again this morning saying school's too stressful and too far away from home. She did manage to pluck up courage and tell her form tutor how stressful she's finding it and sounded like he was reassuring.

Anyone else finding this situation draining? I've been so exhausted today...

[yohoohoo]

Colouring yes me. I feel very sad that my DS is up and down but trying not to show it. Plus friends arent very supportive or interested as their DC are doing "brilliantly". Im going to email the tutor if it continues. Colouring they will get there but may just take a little time

[Titsywoo]

Ergh I spoke too soon. Dd said she can't be herself with her new friends because they find her weird and run off so she is having to act normal around them. She does seem to have mainly kids who went to primary together in her class so is struggling to fit into established friendship groups. I've told her to try talking to some of the other kids and to go to some lunchtime clubs. Hopefully she will find someone on her wavelength soon :(

[EndoplasmicReticulum]

Titsy there will be someone for her there, she just has to find them. It's hard to start with though, I know. Is she with the same class for all lessons? My son is in a tutor group for registration but that is not the same as the groups he has for lessons.

[Titsywoo]

Yes she seems to be but they haven't streamed them yet so that may change. In each lesson they are sat with certain people every time so she is only getting to properly meet maybe 8 people from her class as she often gets sat with the same boy who isn't too talkative. I thought they might mix things up a bit so they could all get to know each other.

[TaggieOHara]

Thanks everyone for your advice! in the end DS spoke to the form tutor himself about clubs. She has arranged for him to join a couple, which at least takes up a couple of lunch times. He has a better day today. He managed to join in a conversation with some of his classmates about phone games today, which is a big step. He seems quite a bit happier, if very tired. I will still email the form tutor to ask her to keep an eye on him (thanks for the reassurances pps!). The school has an associated junior school, so more than half of the children know each other really well, which makes things tricky for 'proper' new boys.

Titsy / Colouring / other pps... I feel for all of the DC being stressed and having to get used to a commute. They seem so young to be dealing with such things

Yoohoo - yes to being drained! It is worse than starting a new job myself!

[steppemum]

just wanted to tell you a story.

I remember going off to uni aged 18. Very excited, loved it etc etc. But I clearly remember phoning my mum after about 3-4 weeks and when she said how is it going, I replied - well, finally we have got past the same conversation 'what's your name and where are you from etc' and we can begin to have normal conversations and get on with living.

My mum was tickled pink and she has reminded me of it a few times.

Our dc are in the same position, all new, all trying to make a good impression, and not able to just relax and be themselves with their familiar friends. It is very tiring and they have never had to do it before and probably don't even realise they are doing it.

It will come, they will have that day when they make a joke and their new friend gets it and suddenly they can relax.

and yes I am exhausted!

[MagicChanges]

I feel so much for all you mums with children starting Year 7. It's an enormous leap from primary to secondary (probably the biggest in the whole of their education) though leaving home and going to Uni (if that's the path they take) is a biggie. Mine are all grown and I have a DGD in Yr 12, but she had a real "baptism of fire" when she started Year 7. She knew absolutely no one and it's an all girls school and most of them had been together in the junior part of the school, some of them since they were 3!
I was really worried as she was a shy girl and wouldn't even go to tea or birthday parties in junior school. It all seemed to go well but I only found some years later how difficult it had been for her in Yr 7 - I think her parents knew but didn't tell me, knowing I'd worry. But she told me herself fairly recently that the other girls that she was weird (she's not) and she made friends with another new girl, but she left after the first term! She said it was tough going but gradually she made 1 or 2 friends and it grew from there.

There were problems with Yr 7 girls last year as they were having trouble making friends and DGD was chosen (with 2 other senior girls) to talk to the Yr 7s, and I asked DGD what she'd said and apparently she advised them not to make just one friend and to remember that everyone was probably feeling scared but trying not to let on, and that they shouldn't expect too much too soon, as it would take time, but in the end it would work out. she grinned and said "I also told them there will probably be a Miss Popular in the form and some of the girls will want to be her friends, but don't worry if you're not in that group, everyone is different and you'll all find out where you fit in, and by Christmas these early days will be forgotten." There is a Miss Popular in her form (not really now as they're all doing different subjects, but she always amused me with tales of Miss Popular (you know the sort, pretty, clever, sporty, confident) and she used to refer to Miss P and her entourage!

Wise words I think. Please try to remember it's very early days and sod those friends whose kids are doing "brilliantly" - they're probably not anyway. Good luck to you all and your sons and daughters.

[TaggieOHara]

Thank you steppemum and magic for your wise words. It really helps to get a long term perspective.

DS just left. He is nervous about the new clubs. He's not sure he is 'properly' signed up. I tried to reassure him, but I can imagine he will be a bit worried all morning.

[oklumberjack]

My dd is doing a lunchtime netball club this morning. She said "I hope I'm not the only Y7 there" which is a big possibility .

I admire her gumption though. It must be good for resilience!

[Calmonthesurfacebut]

So pleased to have found this thread and relieved, if a bit sad to see that other children are struggling a bit too.

My dd is putting a brave face on, but I know she's found it hard and is struggling. There are actually 6 children in her class from her previous school, but that didn't help, as most are established friends. A girl she used to play with is in another class and practically ignored her and went off with one of my dd's new classmates, who my dd thought may be a best friend!

My dd isn't great with social cues either .

[Titsywoo]

Sorry your DD is having a hard time too calm. I think whether they know people or not it is tough. I was glad that DD didn't get into the school that most of her class at primary did because she had problems with several of the girls and I got the feeling that she would get dumped soon after they started. But now of course she has noone so it's hard anyway. Argh, I hate this bit of parenting, so hard to watch :(

[Noofly]

Do you mind if I join too? DD is in the last year of primary school, but for it we have switched her to her older brother's much larger school which is 3-18 so she's having the shock of the switch this year instead of next.

She's really shy but has the benefit of one of the girls on the bus taking her under her wing and (along with her friends) looking out for her at break time and lunch and so on so she seems to be doing OK.

The bus trip is stressing her out though because they have a new driver and he is late to school pretty much every other day! I've spoken to the school and they are monitoring it. Her teacher says to not worry about it but she hates walking in so often when class has already started. DS(14) just shrugs it off as typical of a grumpy teen, and I think he enjoys telling his form teacher with much disgust that the bus was late again!

[Noofly]

And to all who are struggling. I'd echo the comments about teachers being able to make a big difference. When DS started S1 he didn't know anyone in his form class and it was quite a "challenging" group with lots of strong personalities, according to his form teacher. She saw he was struggling to fit in and paired him up with another similar boy (using the excuse that this boy needed to home home at lunchtime to let his new puppy out and the school wouldn't let him leave the school grounds on his own!) They quickly became friends and are still best friends while now having a larger group of friends as well.

[Titsywoo]

How did everyones DC get on today? DD had a good day - hooray! She got talking to more people in drama and made a new friend who she says likes the same things as her and is "weird" like she is . I also encouraged her to look into some clubs and she talked to her art teacher who said there is a club every lunch time where she can go and draw. She is also going to try trampolining after school and I found a drama tech club run by older students which she would enjoy as she got into lighting in her last school play. Feeling a lot more relaxed now as I was quite concerned yesterday :)

[PonderingProsecco]

My ds back at school [injury]. Still has to be a bit careful.
Seems to be enjoying school but says subjects seem very easy compared to year 6. His friend also said same. Maths seems ridiculously simple at the moment.
Is this the norm at the beginning of year 7?
I certainly don't want to email as have had to email a lot lately re injury....
Apart from doddly work, and injury, ds seems chirpy [long may it last....].

[oklumberjack]

My dd had a fairly good day. She joined the Netball club at lunchtime. She was worried they'd be no Y7's there but there were lots. She's also spoken to few new people. I don't expect proper friendships yet but it's good she's chatting to people.
She also likes the History teacher as he already knows her name and asked her to pull up the projector screen because "she's taller than most of his Y9's" (she is very tall. I think lots of people think she's at least Y9 which might not be helping!).

They did that running test though which she hated. They were supposed to do 20 'runs' but she only managed 15. The upside of this though is that she's keen to try more sport.

All in all, not bad day.

[oklumberjack]

Pondering, my dd has said English and Maths has been very easy, however they've not been streamed yet.