Coed vs girls school?

[lesliexanita]

My daughter is studying at an all girls school now, but she will go to uk for boarding school next year. She seems to think that a mixed school will suit her better, as she said she 'can't stand the bitchy girls sometimes'. I was educated at an all girls school before, so am not sure what a mixed education would bring. My husband also has a preconception that children at mixed schools are 'naughtier' and will start dating. Any views on this?

All-girls schools can be an utterly miserable place to be if you don't fit into the correct mainstream box in any way. I am sure they are lovely for the members of the central cliques. If your DD knows that she is unlikely to be accepted into the in-crowd then she is quite correct that a mixed school could be better. There will still be bitchy girls at a coeducational school of course, but there ought to be more flexibility. Just make sure it's a school that has policies like "pupils can choose either X or Y" rather than "girls do X and boys do Y".

Depends on how old your daughter is and how large the school is. I think by sixth form age most do want to go mixed. DD is at very large (state) girls school and finds it quite easy to avoid relationship dramas - she's selected friends who have a laidback attitude. I might be more wary of a smaller all-girls school where it could be harder to do this.

I would assume as you're looking at boarding you have a wide range of schools to choose from so if you find a great co-ed that fits your other requirements I think you can safely go with your DD's wishes on this.

My husband also has a preconception that children at mixed schools are 'naughtier' and will start dating. Any views on this?

Well they can date at single sex schools too.

My only experience is attending an RC girls school. We went on a school holiday to the isle of man. There was another school on the same ferry. Girls were literally running after the boys.

I don't think this preconception is true. At any school there is going to be a mixture of behaviours.

I would expect that sharing a classroom with the boys and being part of the same community would help a lot of girls to form a more realistic idea of what to expect from relationships with the opposite sex rather than having them distant and easier to idolise.

it depends what your dd is like. you have to judge it. i think in many ways co-ed schools are more on top of what is going on under their roof. all girls schools think they can get away with turning a blind eye.

I am "old." I did not go to boarding school. I have several adult female friends who did go to famous coed boarding schools in the US Northeast. All three lost their virginity in their early teens at boarding school. All three feel they hadn't been properly looked after and that it was something that they didn't understand, feel in control of, or actually want at the time. The children had developed a rather rough culture of their own that the grown ups at the schools seemed to overlook completely.

Now the UK is a different place and this is a very different time. Things have changed since the 80s, right? But if your DD is younger, not the 6th form, I'd be looking very closely at the pastoral care and safe guarding at boarding schools. When it comes to taking risks with my DC, I always presume the worst, and satisfy myself that it is not the case!

My DDs attended girls' schools including 6th form. I really do not think the "bitchy" behaviour that can be experienced lower down the school is evident in the 6th form. The girls grow out of it. They may become interested in boys but from my experience they are friends of the brothers of their class-mates. They may have socials with other schools and parties where they meet but they can easily do this at co-ed schools if they want.

There are unpleasant girls and boys at all schools. The unpleasant girls are not confined to girls' schools. They key is to ensure you make friends with people like you; girls or boys. There are friendly people in all schools and new students are welcomed, but some schools there are definite cliques, girls and boys.

I know at a well known co-ed school near me, it has been known for visitors to the estate to find used condoms in the bushes - but if they want sex, they find a way!

Just choose the school you like and expect your DD to be sensible. Don't judge a school on stereotypical information but judge it on how your DD will fit in and how good the teaching is. Worrying about bitchy girls or sex mad boys will get you nowhere!

Co-ed is much better preparation for life after school. Horrid to go from sheltered world of all girls boarding to mixed hall. Co-ed is more fun.