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Secondary education

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Original poster

Am I being unfair...GCSE results

126 replies

Abloodybigholeintheground · 25/08/2016 11:12

Real first world problem here..... Hmm

My son has just got his GCSE results. He has been privately educated and the past year has been a complete battle-us/his teachers vs my son! He is a bright kid-not super genius but more than capable of achieving top grades. He is also bright enough to have worked out what he needed to do through the year to get by-keep out of trouble (mostly) but do no more.
He didn't work particularly for his exams-he did a bit but was kidding himself most of the time.
We set a bench mark for continuing at private school for sixth form-all grade B's or above. Although he isn't overly bothered about school per say he does have a good crowd of mates and loves the sports available to him which are not offered at the other sixth forms.
So-he did OK but got one C.
I think we should stick to our guns and pull him out-his stinking teenage attitude also weighs heavy in favour of this in my mind!
OH is going to bottle it-I am sure. He went to private school-in fact this school-and has a habit of not sticking to deals.
Should I stick to my guns and insist he leaves private education? He knew about this all along and didn't seem bothered (until last week when As came out and started to be nervous). It is only one grade-but what lesson does it teach him that he didn't achieve what was required but got to stay anyway?
Or am I being a miserable cow.... Confused

Just to add-all B's were more than achievable for him. He was told he could achieve A*/A in all bar one subject-ironically he got an A in that one!!

OP posts:
MangoMoon · 25/08/2016 15:11

To be fair, he outperformed your deal.

You said at least Bs, he got 5 As which topped that and an A* to cancel out the C.

He has more than fulfilled his part WinkGrin

Original poster
Abloodybigholeintheground · 25/08/2016 15:14

I need to reiterate-I am not saying his results as bad, but they are not what he is capable of and he has not achieved the benchmark we set-he agreed to it I have to add-to stay in private education.

OP posts:
Original poster
Abloodybigholeintheground · 25/08/2016 15:15

Yes he's just tried that mangomoon but the deal was all exams at B or above.

OP posts:
AndNowItsSeven · 25/08/2016 15:22

You are being ridiculousl, your ds has excellent exam results. I feel irrationally angry as I don't know you or your ds but you are being very unfair.

Hulababy · 25/08/2016 15:27

Do also bear in mind that the GCSE results have declined this year, especially in grades C and above, and specifically in maths, English, history and geography.

What does your DS want to do for sixth form/A levels?
Which establishment has the best record for these subjects/courses?
Are the schools/colleges you are considering as an alternative as good as the current school, in terms of results and support?
Will moving him mean he is likely to do better or worse than if he stays where he is?
If worse, are you willing to make him take that risk and possibly not do as well at A level?

Hulababy · 25/08/2016 15:31

Yes he's just tried that mangomoon but the deal was all exams at B or above.

But he has done better than if he had 'just' got, say, 8 Bs.

If it was A levels and a university place, for example, he would most likely still get into his chosen course due to having done better in some subjects, and only dropping in one. Unless that one C was in a key subject.

So to me - if he got some As, some Bs and one C - the overall result is better than all Bs.

meowli · 25/08/2016 15:32

you've done it now so you at least have to use it for leverage.
"You get to stay if you commit to your A levels by studying every night from 6-7 without TV/Internet"

An hour a night at A Level?? I don't think he would think you were driving a very hard bargain! Grin My ds's 6th Form recommends 12 - 16 hrs of independent study per week.

YvaineStormhold · 25/08/2016 15:34

Can people not see what they are doing?

Just getting through the exam period is an achievement. The stress, the pressure, the political fartarsing about with grade boundaries etc, at a time when kids (and they are kids) are going through physical and emotional upheaval anyway?

So he didn't drive himself into the ground for the sake of a bunch of A* grades?

Good. That shows a healthy sense of perspective.

And we wonder why child mental health is at crisis point.

FWIW, my DS is at an independent school. He worked, but not like crazy. He could have worked harder. He didn't get grades as good as the OP's son - but he got good enough grades to go to sixth form, he's healthy, he's happy and we're delighted.

Sheesh.

Hulababy · 25/08/2016 15:34

it's almost as if he hasn't made a link between himself and being an adult in 2 yrs!

Of course he hasn't. He is a 16y child. Teenagers of this age are often still rather immature and self centred, living life for the now. That is not uncommon. Yes, some are more mature and have their plans laid out but many do not. He will grow up over the next couple of years but tbh even at 18y many teens are not really 'proper adults' and more like over grown children who need support and guidance, whilst still thinking they are grown up.

Original poster
Abloodybigholeintheground · 25/08/2016 15:35

Thanks for the irrational anger AndNow but it's not your £30k that we might be blowing.

OP posts:
YvaineStormhold · 25/08/2016 15:37

You can't hold your son over a barrel for the decision you made to send him private.

He's a kid. He just won't see it as him working hard to give you your money's worth.

age81 · 25/08/2016 15:42

Out of interest, what subject was it? I know the English Language & Literature have been a shock to a few.

AndNowItsSeven · 25/08/2016 15:42

No, it's not. Your ds achieved excellent grades both overall and it especially in the subjects he will continue at A level.
Why do you think you would be wasting your money?

Original poster
Abloodybigholeintheground · 25/08/2016 15:44

Trust me Yvaine, there was no stress and pressure. He had no concerns about the exams at all until last week when the A levels results came out and he started to think about his results coming out today. The whole point of this is he is not bothered by exams and working, his effort level is low to nothing. So it seems foolish to invest more money into his education. The majority of the population go through the state system and many, many kids achieve fabulous things so why should we be stressing about paying for a private education when he can get it for nothing. He is happy, chilled out, quick witted...but lazy. We had a deal, he didn't work hard, he didn't achieve his side of the deal.

OP posts:
YvaineStormhold · 25/08/2016 15:47

Not all kids have to work hard. My elder DS doesn't. I call it lucky.

Your call. But I really wouldn't focus on the C. You've got a clever lad there.

Ohtobeskiing · 25/08/2016 15:51

Hmm - depends what the alternatives to his current school are like? Our local state sixth form college is well known for its excellent results and it is a very good stepping stone from school to higher education. It has an ethos of keeping parents at a little distance and expecting students to be self motivated (with plenty of help and guidance if asked for). If their work ethic is not up to standard they will soon be pulled up. My dc were quite fed up with their school and relished the chance to re-invent themselves at sixth form.

MangoMoon · 25/08/2016 15:51

His GCSE results won't matter a jot if he does well in his A Levels, and they will become fairly insignificant as he moves through higher education & the passage of time and work based Qs & experience.

1 x C grade is not a disaster in the grand scheme of things.

Original poster
Abloodybigholeintheground · 25/08/2016 15:53

Geography. His English Lang was a B and Lit an A-surprising it was that way around.
We are not holding him over a barrel. We decided to educate privately. He has been slacking all through year 10 and 11. We agreed in February that if his grades were not Bs and above he would stop fee paying school. He had plenty of time to do the work he needed if he seriously wanted to stay on. We and the teachers could only do so much.
He has admitted he is disappointed in the results and that he didn't do anywhere near enough work. At least that is progress...

OP posts:
PortiaCastis · 25/08/2016 15:54

I went to a private school and got sick of the level of expectation placed on me. I rebelled I was a teenager and I got pregnant.
Obviously this will not happen to your son, but praise for what he has achieved I'm sure he would welcome and with the right kind of encouragement will continue to get good A level grades

BishopBrennansArse · 25/08/2016 15:57

Hopefully one day he will realise all the pressure you've put him under wasn't worth it and you get that treatment back in spades.

Can't stand parents pressuring kids for grades.

3littlefrogs · 25/08/2016 15:59

DD went to local sixth form college, loved it and did really well.
I couldn't have wished for a better A level education if I had paid a fortune.

It isn't down to results - your decision should be based on his attitude and willingness to study. If you can afford to pay and you think the school is worth it AND he will work hard then fair enough - but use your money wisely - university is horrendously expensive.

Serialweightwatcher · 25/08/2016 16:07

I think you should be very proud - it's hard for kids (which is what they are) to do brilliantly in every subject - he seems to have tried somewhat and he didn't fail so leave him alone and don't just stick to your guns because you've said it and therefore it's law - tell him you're proud and maybe he'll want to work harder for next time

noblegiraffe · 25/08/2016 16:07

hulababy maths passes are actually up this year for Y11, to just over 70%. The reports that maths has gone down include the figures for 17 year olds doing GCSE resit.

Original poster
Abloodybigholeintheground · 25/08/2016 16:08

Bishop he is not under pressure. He is a bloody bright kid and lazy academically. With a bit of effort he could have breezed most of these subjects. He has admitted he did very little work and "now wishes he had worked harder". And the whole point of the thread is saying that if he wants to be chilled out and do "OK" then I think we should let him-at a non fee paying college. At the moment he is realising that his laissez-faire attitude has resulted in results lower than he was anticipating. There is no pressuring for grades-just a want for him to get off his lazy backside and do some work. If he was only capable of lower grades and he worked for them-great. But he was capable of more than he achieved and just didn't bother with the extra effort.

OP posts:
PortiaCastis · 25/08/2016 16:12

Do they do A*** grades. Poor boy !

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