Year 10 parents evening - such pressure to get As and A*s, when a C is a pass

[BigSandyBalls2015]

Sorry if that sounds defeatist and lacking in ambition for DD. She's doing well, she's taking 11 GCSEs and she's on target to pass all of them at C or above, but last night the pressure was seriously on for her to achieve the As and A*s that are her predicted grades at the end of year 11.

This is more for the school isn't it? Their figures/data. DD doesn't want to go to uni, she's not sure what she wants to do really at this stage. She hates studying, we have to nag and bribe and confiscate to get her to do anything, and she's a fairly anxious teen, so I've been backing off a bit.

These As and A*s that are 'predicted' are solely from the results of her Year 6 SATS, it all seems madness to me.

Considering she is doing well, I feel that last night was depressing and disappointing from the teachers point of view, as she isn't doing as well as school believe she can.

I'm late 40s now and there was never any pressure like this when I was at school. And I'm sure there was far less anxiety, depression, self harm etc amongst teens.

Am I wrong to back off and let her find her own way.

Boys3 11 GCSES are not standard at Westminster. Some of the better linguists may do 11, but only because they take French a year early.

You will only ever need 8. Worth doing one or two as spares as it is possible that something goes wrong on the day (or with the marking) and this is only for a small number of very selective courses. And even with the 8 a 'fun' subject is allowed.

What you take is much more important. So 2 or 3x science, maths, 2× English, 1× MFL and 1x humanity demonstrates the full range of academic skill. And quality over quantity.

Such a lot of replies, thanks. Will have a good read and a think and come back.

Dd1 did 11 at the local independent school.All pretty hard subjects ( well apart from bus. Studies).Absolutely no humanities ( hated them with a passion) but 4 languages.Far more than me with 8.
I do sympathise somewhat with the Op though.Its very wrong to judge a student at 11 and predict their future.A lot of boys consistently underachieve at this age due to immaturity.Once they do badly there is no impetus to improve their scores unless they are forecast to fail ( then there's a massive effort made).The ones who get C's when they're capable of getting A's are ignored.

My DD sounds a bit like yours (though younger) - and honestly i would want her in a school that was nagging her to get As and A*s.

Even if she doesn't want to go to uni I would say getting As are better than Cs.

But why are they basing it solely on yr 6 SATS - sounds odd, they would have more up to date data to predict from.

Is she doing all 11 GCSEs in one sitting ? - that does sound too much.

needmore happy to bow to your local knowledge. I admit to just going by the information along with rounding up rather than down on the Westminster School website (same for the other schools quoted)

www.westminster.org.uk/life-at-westminster/academic-life/academic-curriculum

GCSE studies
For their next two years in Year 10 (Lower Shell) and Year 11 (Upper Shell), boys prepare for 10 or 11 GCSEs or IGCSEs including Mathematics, English Language, English Literature, French and at least two of the three sciences

The GCSE results stats and cohort size published on the website would seem to reconfirm the statement above.

What you take is much more important. So 2 or 3x science, maths, 2× English, 1× MFL and 1x humanity demonstrates the full range of academic skill.

Just in case someone reads this and thinks they must do this. It isn't quite true. What you have described is the EBAC and Gove is really the only person who cares about this. Universities don't, in the main. There are no universities in England that require an MFL and advising people to take one or study a humanity over a subject that they may get a higher grade in isn't the best advice.

Obviously a broad range of subjects will help to keep your options open if you aren't sure what you want to do.

High expectations correlate strongly to achievement, so the OP is actually holding her daughter back.

If her baseline testing predicts an A, then that is what she should achieve. It is madness for her to turn her back on her natural ability, and for her mother to discourage her.

If GCSEs are the end of the road for her academically, it is even more important to get the best grades she can as they wont be replaced by higher qualifications.

Holding her back?! OP is dealing with a kid who already has mental health issues. Putting pressure on won't help. yr9 DD has a mate who has been cutting self, not least after parents laid into the girl over poor mock results.

I'll take an emotionally well-balanced teenager over a high achiever, any day.

I will add to the group that says the 11 mediocre GCSEs is too many. I have had children in two selective independent schools where they have done 10 GSCEs and taught in two non-selective independent schools where they have done nine.

10 GCSEs means two English, Mathematics, three Sciences, a humanity, a language and two options. 9 GCSEs is the same but with two Sciences.

It's not that different to when I did my O Grades when the dinosaurs roamed : English, two Maths, two Sciences, a humanity, a language, and an option. Total = 8 subjects.

I don't think that a parent indulging in her child's anxiety is going to do anything to help that child to become less anxious. It is much better to be encouraging. Tell her she is brilliant!

ginandjag this is exactly my experience in 2 separate schools, one moderately academic one non selective.

Where did the OP say her DD had MH issues?

Is anxiety not a MH issue?
Op said already bribing & nagging a lot.

The op mentions that DD is an anxious teen their is no mention of MH, what teenager isn't anxious at one stage or another? Its seems that it is the parent that is under pressure, depressed and disappointed.

11 GCSE's at school is pretty normal (8 core, RS and 2 options) but even if you cut back it wouldn't reduce the work load at school. So if she stopped working at home and took a more laissez-faire attitude what would she do instead, more social networking, TV, being lazy? Or more study on fewer subjects? I would suggest its the former, so the issue isn't less subjects its potentially less study, not a good idea.

A C grade may be a pass, but in the real world, there is competition. Competition for jobs, competition for further education courses.

A job or course specification saying grade C or above means "minimum" standards, and may well get dozens of applicants with A and B grades, so someone with Cs may never reach the short lists and never be able to pursue their chosen career, despite having reached the minimum standards.

In this competitive world, you need to put all possible efforts into getting the best education and qualifications that you can. For the sake of a few less hours a week for a few months on Facebook, it seems a no brainer to me to put a little more effort in and get better grades.

I don't think that a parent indulging in her child's anxiety is going to do anything to help that child to become less anxious. It is much better to be encouraging. Tell her she is brilliant!
Totally agree. Kids are glowingly suffering from anxiety because they are not taught to be resilient. The more you avoid everything challenging, the more anxious you become. Anxiety is on the other scale of self-confidence and belief that you can accomplish what you are facing.

Unfortunately, it seems to be becoming the norm for parents faced with an anxious child to do everything to remove the stressor from the child instead of helping the child through the process of going through it so that they can learn that it wasn't as bad as feared and enjoy the results of their efforts, hence nurturing their self-esteem.

It is never pleasant to see your child going through difficult times and yes, it is maternal/paternal instinct to want to shield your child from pain, but doing so is not doing what a parent should do, that is preparing for the adult world.

I had the impression that the remedial MFL courses at UCL were for a transitional period. It will soon become a requirement to have a GCSE.

Been "transition period" for an awful long time

Doesn't seem to be showing much sign of coming out of transition either.

You wouldn't need to pick up an old language either. As far as I know, you need a 0.5 credit MFL and can choose from beginner or more advanced levels. The beginner level works towards A1 which is probably manageable by most.

Failing that, unless you have a burning desire to go to UCL, just don't choose UCL as a uni option.

Not sure what the point in insisting students are at A1 level is really. It doesn't seem hugely worthwhile.

A C might be a pass, but it's a very weak 'pass'. There's no way you're going to handle A Level English or Maths if you only managed a C in them at GCSE.

Many 6th forms won't even accept you if you only have a clutch of B/C grades.

Better to aim high, even if you fall slightly short...than settle for a low mediocre.

For goodness sake there are more things to life than super GCSEs!!

I also have a son who could achieve A/A* if he would do the work/revision for it. He has been diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum and hates doing revision so much that no amount of bribing/encouragement/sitting down with him and making him do it etc etc makes a blind bit of difference. As the saying goes, 'you can lead a horse to water...'

If I nag and cajole and go on, it makes him extremely miserable and anxious, and no, it does not make him do the work.

OP - the world is not black and white as so many of these Mumsnetters think that it is.

My personal aim for my son is to ensure his mental well-being during this very stressful year for him. If you want to push your kids until they have a breakdown, fine go ahead, but I won't be joining in. I will be very happy if he gets 5 GCSEs grades A to C.

My DH left school with 2 C's for his O levels and one CSE grade 1. He has since worked at the National Theatre as a sound engineer etc etc and has done just fine.

The voice of common sense timeforabrewnow!!!!

For goodness sake there are more things to life than super GCSEs!!

You are entitled to your opinions. As long as you accept that your children's future education/career prospects may be affected, they may not be able to get a decent job at all, if their GCSE results are poorer than their peer group. If that happens, then don't start whinging about the education system, the government or whoever else you feel may be to blame for them not reaching their educational potential.

I had no parental "push" behind me at school and as a result I drifted and ended up with virtually no decent qualifications. It wasn't that I couldn't do the work, in fact I found it easy, but I just couldn't be arsed to do the homework and revision for exams.

I've managed to carve a decent career, but it's been a lot harder as I've had to do evening and day-release courses, alongside full time work, to get the qualifications I needed, and even now, I'm on the second tier of my profession rather than the top tier.

Whenever I was going through a hard time, trying to study alongside a demanding job, whilst my peer group were enjoying life at Uni, I resented my parents for not showing an interest in my education and not making sure I was doing what was necessary.