School residential trip dilemma

[redbeard]

Hi, my DD 12 (asd ) was due to go on a 5 day trip on Mon, however , she has been on and off for a few weeks as to whether or not she wanted to go.

I asked her to give me a final answer on Friday , so I could inform school if she wasn't going to go , as they leave early and would be expecting her.

She was adamant she didn't want to go, and so I phoned school to tell them she would not be going.

However now she is upset and want's to go, I have said that it's too late , she made her decision etc, but my question is , will they have cancelled her place ?

I cannot contact anyone, and they leave early , any suggestions anyone?

Nobody has been put out at all, the teachers are all going on this trip regardless and one email does not piss anybody about as you call it.

cheryl I think your being very rude and inconsiderate.! And just because you wouldn't want an email fine you don't answer the ones you get and be known as the unapproachable teacher the one Alll kids dread and parents hate dealing with!

However OP is your dd going with her class teacher? Or a teacher she knows well because I presume they know how on/off she's been and as they know her will understand you contacting them?

cheryl I realy hope you never ever teach any one with SEN or in fact anyone your attitude is dreadful!

If I was about to lead a trip abroad in the morning, and received an email pertinent to that trip about a vulnerable child who was stressing, I would certainly view it as part-and-parcel of the whole business.

Hi, she's is going with 2 teachers who know her really well , plus a ta and 2 others going, all know her and know how her asd affects her.

Her teachers really are all fantastic and really do care and look out for her.

I really hope they have not minded me emailing them on a weekend, but I really think they would do anything to try and reassure her.

Anyway , I have cancelled her place with the office staff and unless the teachers see my emails , she won't be going on Monday.

Cheryl - do you have any students in your class(es) with ASD, because god help them if you do. Do you understand the issues around anxiety and ASD, and how 'big' a residential trip is.

OP - I think it's fine to have emailed. If they don't want to respond they don't have to. I wouldn't just turn up at 5am because if she doesn't go you may end up with a meltdown, and it's just another layer of anxiety. It sounds as if you weren't sure she would cope with this trip anyway, so if it doesn't happen just maybe see it as better to have 'failed' before leaving & going pear shaped while away.

If they do respond and it's decided your dd will go, stick to your guns with her and make sure she knows another change of mind is out of the question.

Thankyou to those who understand how big a thing this is for my Dd (and me).

It probably is for the best, the worries she had about not having any friends there are somewhat true, her few proper friends she has are not going and I would hate for her to have a bad experience and put her off any future trips .

At the moment she know's if the teachers do not respond she isn't going and understands that she should try to make the right decision at the right time to try to avoid things like this happening again.

Hmm.

Oh that Hmm was to Cheryl.

It might be for the best OP. We had to abandon something rather sharpish on Friday morning. The person organising it was very understanding, and actually it was probably better abandoned before starting the activity rather than midway though.

That was my thinking on Friday, best to let everyone know on time instead of not being able to speak to anyone at 5am on Monday morning.

It's not the first time her anxiety has got the better of her unfortunately and probably won't be the last.

Oh well, maybe next time.

I am glad you are not involved in my daughters education, they value her , whatever the circumstances and would never think badly of her changing her mind.

Well, redbeard, it sounds as though you are fortunate to have understanding and approachable staff around your dd then. I'm sure they won't think you're "dicking them around."

I really am fortunate , all the teachers involved at my children's school are excellent , I can't imagine any of them talking like that.

"dicking them around"

Thank fuck my son w/ASD is in a special school.

TBH if either of my other (non ASD) kids had a problem with anxiety, that was known about by their teachers, I would expect the teachers to have some understanding that a residential trip was going to be a big issue. I'd be very hmm if they couldn't cope with receiving an email over the weekend (given there is no expectation to respond to emails or even pick them up blah blah blah)

Ds1's teacher quite often emails me at 10pm on a Sunday night btw.

Good. Move along then cheryl.

How the hell has she expected any teachers to jump. She's emailed saying her anxious daughter is now wanting to try the trip and is it still possible for her to go.

Possible responses:
No reply (so OP assumes not picked up).
Yes. (So OP and dd turn up)
No. (So OP and dd don't turn up)

Hardly asking people to jump.

I haven't even spoken to the teachers about her not going, I spoke to the admin in charge of the school trip , who was equally understanding.

As far as I know the staff going on the trip might not even know until Mon morning , which will be too late then to do anything about it.

I'm also a teacher & was the first to suggest emailing as I would be expecting emails over the weekend before a trip. I hope you manage to get something sorted OP.
Cheryl - I am appalled by how unsympathetic & objectionable you are being.