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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Year 11 GCSE support thread 5 - finishing off the exams

983 replies

HSMMaCM · 05/06/2015 15:43

Only another week to go for DD, but I know some of you have two weeks.

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simbo · 07/06/2015 15:47

She is going to do A levels and she doesn't think she has done so badly that her subject choices will be closed to her. I am slightly concerned about one of her choices if she has revised as little as she now claims. I am really relieved to hear that others are going through the same or similar. I just feel sad for her that she is unlikely to do as well as predicted, and wonder how that will affect her.
I have just paid her a visit to try and encourage her to come out with me - only to buy some bedding plants, but still. Nothing doing. If what she has just drawn is a measure of how she feels I am going to have to watch her very closely indeed.

Horsemad · 07/06/2015 15:53

The Edexcel maths would have been enough to put them off all exams, from what I can gather. Sad
I hope she's OK simbo, just watch her carefully. Her mental health is more important than exam results.

Fairenuff · 07/06/2015 15:53

Oh dear, that sounds worrying. Would she go out for an ice cream or something? I'm sure someone wrote earlier about a McFlurry hitting the spot.

HSMMaCM · 07/06/2015 15:55

Aw Simbo. Just keep telling her how much you love her. There's not much more you can do really.

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TeenAndTween · 07/06/2015 15:55

simbo No concrete ideas, but please make sure you reassure her that you love her whatever, and life will go on whatever the results, and nothing is so bad that you can't get through it.

Also, if you can get her outside for a walk, then please do. I've been 'walking' DD1 every afternoon and evening throughout exams, and it helps her de-stress.

spudmasher · 07/06/2015 16:01

A lot of the Dc took a hit with the Edexel maths.
We had lots of 'What's the point' type comments after that one.
I'm really hoping she manages to get through Simbo. It really brings home how stressful the whole thing is. There's got to be a better way for the Dc to show what they know.

SugarPlumTree · 07/06/2015 16:01

If the weather is ok could you suggest a BBQ for tea and get her involved in shoppin and cooking? I know DD would not come out if it is garden related but if it involved her stomach or a favourite box set she would,

Definitely worth emphasising the whole it's a stepping stone thing, you love her and life will go on as said above.

Other ideas, what about Pamper night, bath, face pack etc. just something to get her back into normal life for an hour or two and away from the should be doing revision frame of mind.

Bloody stressful time for everyone, another friend's DD has sort of gone AWOL this weekend.

Littleham · 07/06/2015 16:05

simbo So sorry about all the stress you and your dd are going through. Flowers

This exam thing goes on for far too long. My dd did the AQA science papers and the evil Edexel Maths one. She says that they were worse than the past papers. Tell your daughter that loads of people missed out questions. She is not alone.

I'm worried about the happiness factor too. Trying to plan treats, breaks, distractions but I'm starting to run out of ideas. Today I set up an revision arbour in the garden (less glamorous than it sounds / blankets / table / lemonade / ice cream). Any other ideas anyone? We need to cheer these teenagers up.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 07/06/2015 16:11

I think just lots of reassurance and praise for keeping going tonight simbo, and also for letting you know how things are for her
She's worked hard throughout her courses and she's doing her best to get through the exams.
I think put predicted grades to the back of your minds and hopefully she's done what she needs overall to move into sixth form doing her chosen subjects
Even this is a bonus compared to their well-being
Love and best wishes to you both x

simbo · 07/06/2015 16:27

Thanks to all for your supportive answers. I have not yet persuaded her out of her room but dh has already bought bbq stuff. I will try and get her to help prepare salads etc. She seems immune to all suggestions and even treats. I do think she has hit a bump in the road mentally. I frankly don't care about how she does, only about how she feels. Though the two are linked, especially as she has some v. bright friends. It will be no comfort to her in August to look back and say to herself " I would have got those grdes if I had been able to revise". And things don't exactly get easier in 6th Form. do they? There may be fewer subjects, but there will still be exams. She has never been bothered or fazed before. This is just so unexpected. I am doing as much as I can to reassure her, but she does rather cut herself off.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 07/06/2015 16:53

If she has maths tomorrow perhaps true to say there's not so much anyone can do to prepare for that one anyway? So perhaps you'll be able to persuade her to come outside for a BBQ which sounds a great idea on this lovely summer evening. Be kind to yourself too as I'm sure what she said was very unexpected and takes some adjusting to for yourself as well.

simbo · 07/06/2015 17:13

The funny thing is that my ds is the one I usually have to coerce into doing school work. She has to set a positive example to him. I will be going through all this again in a couple of years!
Just been on another visit upstairs (pretext of taking in clean laundry to see what she is actually doing); on facebook and drawing.
I actually think that if you have an exam in the morning there is quite a lot you can be doing the day before to prepare, and that all the stuff that can be committed to short term memory is pretty useful. Hopefully she has done enough. I hope she can manage to do some revision for chemistry tomorrow. I think that I may try and take her to work with me so that I can keep an eye on her after that.

ono40 · 07/06/2015 18:58

Hi Simbo, have you thought about National Citizen Service for the summer? www.ncsyes.co.uk/about If my DS wasn't going off to Tanzania for 4 weeks, I would have enrolled him on this as it is quite cheap and I think employers rate it highly.

I feel for your DD but I really admire the way you are handling it and just being concerned for her mental wellbeing. When DS had his wobble yesterday I said that if he hadn't got his predicted grades then I was sure the school would let him into sixth form as they could see he'd worked hard all year and just reacted badly to the exam stress.

No wonder the rate of antidepressant prescribing for young people has increased, they are under such stress poor things.

bigTillyMint · 07/06/2015 19:01

Simbo, major sympathiesFlowers

My DD has also claimed that she has done nothing/ been taught nothing/ got nothing right / didn't know any questions on more than one occasion since the exams started, but in actual fact, it has just been her expressing her exasperation - exactly.

She is a drama queen and it think she has used me to try out 'worst case scenarios' etc - exactly

I am going to be terrified all morning of getting a phonecall saying she has flipped out or passed out or something - exactly

bigTillyMint · 07/06/2015 19:08

Yes, I was going to suggest that ono - keep getting ads on FB!

HSMMaCM · 07/06/2015 19:52

DD went upstairs to revise at 5. I've just found her asleep on my bed :)

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simbo · 07/06/2015 19:54

I heard about NCIS from her but only because she told me that she couldn't do it as our holiday plans fall in the middle. I will ask her again though. Thanks to everyone who has made comments/suggestions. I'm sure we'll all be back tomorrow.

switchitoff · 07/06/2015 19:58

Simbo - DS had a month like that before the exams started. Paralysed with fear, unable to even open a book, crying constantly etc. I was extremely worried about him and concerned that he would fall apart in the exams.

I think each child needs to work out for themselves what is the best exam technique for them. DS has discovered (rather late in the day) that he prefers talking subjects through with a friend, rather than reading on his own. At least he'll know for exams in the future! One of my friends with a DS with the same problem, reads the revision notes out loud to her DS with him lying in bed, when he is so overwhelmed that he cannot even bring himself to look at it.

I have been making sure my DS eats well and giving him a daily multivitamin with iron, as well as liberal doses of "Rescue Remedy" as required. I have been trying to coax him out of his room - not always successfully; and switching off the modem and taking away his mobile phone at night to maximise the chance of him sleeping.

As soon as the exams are over, I'm going to sit down with him and construct a list of learning points re exam technique and revision, so that hopefully he doesn't get himself into such a state in the future. I have also booked him in with some sessions with a counsellor so that he can thrash out these issues with someone objective.

Hope you can get through the next week with your DD. (It is only an extra week, isn't it?) The thing is she probably knows more than she realises. At this point I'd say a BBQ and a big bowl of ice-cream sounds like a really good plan.

poppym12 · 07/06/2015 20:06

i've been dipping in and out of this thread as DS is also in the midst of his GCSE's. seemed to have started off ok but its getting to be very hard work now. he goes out or sleeps. says he's revising but i fear he isn't.

out of the 3 A levels he'd chosen for college, he decided a while back that he wasn't doing 2 of these so needs to choose some more. he won't talk about it or think about it. he seems so disinterested in everything these days and i really don't know what to do to help him.

Littleham · 07/06/2015 20:40

I think that they have all had enough of exams poppy. The sun is shining and they just want to be young and free.

Maybe he will be able to decide on A Level subjects in August. Don't forget that they can change subjects up to Autumn half term. Both of my older ones changed one subject at sixth form.

Leeds2 · 07/06/2015 20:56

Simbo, NCS has about 8 different start dates throughout the summer, so your DD would probably be able to find one suited if she was interested.

poppym12 · 07/06/2015 21:07

thank you littleham. he's my only child so i have no experience of how college works (i left school many moons ago after O levels and worked then went back to study when i wanted to).

managed to get him to fill the taster session form in and he has vet begrudgingly put down 3 A level subjects, only one of which remotely interests him.

he looks awful, seems tired and fed up, i don't think he's eating properly. i'll be so glad when these wretched exams are over as they seem to have dragged on forever.

bigTillyMint · 07/06/2015 21:28

Another here with an anxious DC - DD had a bit of a moment earlier (after appearing fine an hour before) and has gone to bed. I so hope she sleeps through and wakes up a bit more positive.

I think they are all exhausted and that bloody maths paper hasn't helpedAngry worried the calc paper will be just as bad.

poppym12 · 07/06/2015 21:32

i've just run him a big bubbly bath and added a few drops of essential oil. hopefully it will relax him (or at least help him smell a bit fresher).

please tell me i'm not the only one with a 16 year old who has no idea at all about what they want to do next? Sad

Littleham · 07/06/2015 21:41

Don't worry poppy. My 16 year old changes her mind about her A Level choices and doesn't know what she wants to do.