Waiting List

[Dan2015]

Well almost a year to the day since our appeal we have finally been offered our first choice of secondary school. I never imagined it would cause such a dilemma :-( DS is in Year 7 at our third choice school and has now settled and made friends after initially hating the school. Our first choice of school is a single sex school where we both feel DS will be pushed academically as he is very bright but can, typically,be lazy. We both feel that the new school will be better and he has friends who go there but now doesn't want to move. After the stress of appeal and rejection last year I can't believe we now finally have our first choice but I am unsure if it is now our decision to make?? DH would just move him but I feel it has to be our son's decision. Any advice greatly received!

Can you send your DS for a trial day at the new school? Maybe meeting with his friends there, seeing the facilities etc would change his mind. Otherwise, how is he doing at his existing school? Is he happy and making good progress?

Can you arrange to go and have another look at the new school with your son? It must be a while since he saw it and it might help to refresh his memory. It would probably also be worth asking the new school how they would support his integration at this point.

We had a tour this morning with the assistant head and asked her about integration. He would shadow a member of his form for a couple of weeks before he started on his own timetable and she would be available to support him whenever necessary. I know he will do really well at his current school but my gut instinct tells me the new school will bring out more in him. Facilities wise his current school is a relatively new building but lacks in extra-curricular activities and has no lockers! My small 11 year old has to carry his bag with him all day and also his PE bag 2 days a week which seems crazy. The prospective school is an older more traditional school but with loads of extra-curricular activities and lockers :-). I know the move would be the best long term option but I also worry that if I make the decision and move him from a school where he is happy am I then causing him unnecessary stress? Huge decision to be left for an 11year old though.

Dan2015, can he move back to his old school if it doesn't work out?

pickled siblings I suppose it would be dependent on space there.

can he move back to his old school if it doesn't work out?

If the old school has a waiting list they cannot hang onto the place in case the OP wants it back again. As soon as the OP's son changes school the place must be offered to whoever is at the head of the list. Equally if there is no waiting list they must give the place to anyone who applies. So the only way the OP's son could move back would be if there is no waiting list and no-one else applies for a place in Y7 at the current school.

That is such a tough decision to make. I agree that your son needs to be involved in the descision making otherwise he may resent you. I'd ask the new school if he could spend a day there, see how he likes it. Is that possible?

Also one thing i've learnt this past year is our kids happiness far outweighs any academic success. I never believed this before my daughter was bullied.

I have the upmost sympathy for you though. It's never black and white. Lots of positive vibes.