wwyd - if anything or am I over reacting/being precious?

[CalmItKermit]

Not sure if I'm posting in right place but here goes. Child is gcse yr 11, took a subject last year, achieved A*, only child in set to achieve this. The subject teacher "befriended" child, in no way inappropriately, but in a mentoring kind of way, loaning books, recommending reading etc, and took great interest in child aiming high.

My child has dropped an exam, on informing said teacher the response was that all more pressure to gain A in teacher's subject. Friend of child pointed out that my child did not need A to gain entry to college and teachers response was that if my child achieved A* then he had a good chance of a pay rise

Child now wonders who she can trust at school. I am furious.

Not sure why or what I am expecting in replies but just need to get this down.

in my haste completely forgot to set the scene that my while broke down in this teachers lesson last week and had to be sent home so teacher is awre of the fragile state of my child.

I have spoken to head of year about various issues but I have onlyjust found out about this...am thinking of contacting govenors.

Ignore it, as far as the school goes. performance related pay is such a tiny percentage as to be insignificant. The teacher was probably joking.

But by all means raise hell with your MP. This breakdown in trust is exactly why performance related pay is a terrible idea, it destroys relationships. it destroys many other things as well, but it certainly destroys relationships.

the sooner the government realise what a destructive force it is, the sooner we get shot of it. Please don't hold back on telling your MP how you feel.

Before I can offer my opinion can I get your post straight...

your DC has a friend that gained an A in year 10, since then the teacher of this subject has mentored this DC. Your DC has dropped one subject and now this teacher is pushing your DC to gain an A in this subject.

Your DC has been told by the 'friend' that they don't need an A for college entry and the teacher has said they would get a pay rise if your DC did get an A

Op - is this correct as your post was very confusing

It sounds as if in encouragement, the teacher said 'if you have dropped one other subject, even more chance to get an A* in this subject' and maybe the comment about a pay rise was a joke?

Why does your child feel they can trust no-one? Did the teacher say they needed an A* for college?

It may be your posting style, or that I have misunderstood what you have said, but it does sound as if you are rather overwrought and could do with calming down?

Was the pay rise comment deadly serious? Is it that that yu wish to complain about?

Who gets the suggested pay rise here the child or the teacher?

I don't really understand your point. What's wrong with teachers expecting children to aim high and parents expecting teachers to aim high on their behalf?

If the child aims high and consistently gets good results they probably will earn a higher salary. If a teacher facilitates that and does the best they possibly can for a child I have absolutely no problem with that.

If my child had dropped a subject, then yes I would expect the time spent on that to be distributed to the remaining subjects so performance in them would be higher and I suppose I would be supporting the teacher.

The only quibble I can see is the timing here in that it is bang in the middle of the exams but all the children I know and mine are almost grown up have had a gallows humour by this stage.

I would tell my dc to crack on. I would want them to to the very best that they can do. I wouldn't say to my child that they don't need a grade for uni entry so they don't need to work on that subject as much.

I wouldn't give a hoot about the teacher saying they would get paid more. I think that's ok to say.

Sorry - but I think you are being a bit precious and will not do your dc any favours by taking any action on this. I would be delighted if one of my dc's teachers took their job seriously and wanted dc to strive for the top. I certainly would not begrudge them any tiny amount of performance related pay they might get. Not that I can imagine they would get anything for getting one student through - they would surely need to demonstrate consistent increase across all students.

Your dc are going to meet far less transparent people out in the real world than this. Maybe time to sit them down and explain that not everything everyone says should be taken at face value and you might have to occasionally consider that other people put themselves before you.

Child now wonders who she can trust at school.

Teachers don't go into teaching for the performance related perks. If they want that then they would have been bankers. They go into teaching because they like people (even schoolchildren!) and they like their subject. That was why the teacher did the mentoring.
However, they are human. They make the odd mistake or word things badly. People do that.
Tell your DC not to lose sight of the bigger picture: the teacher is, on the whole, a good person who wants good things for all his pupils.

Don't let DC get herself into a state about this. It will harm no one but herself.

"Don't let DC get herself into a state about this. It will harm no one but herself."

This. It does sound as if both you and your dd are worked up, fragile and emotional at the moment.

I would work more on calmly supporting her and finding out why she is so fragile, and giving her a re-assuring calm lead.

Sounds to me like a joke which was taken too literally. I'd just laugh it off and tell her that the only person she is doing the exams for is herself.

apologies for not returning sooner, thank you for all your replies.

Agree about being worked up, yes I am....

Head of year is writing to me to tell me why dd should take said exam (I also work in a secondary school, he knows I work in a secondary school),

what I actually want to know is why so called HoY did not know about the problems after dd had a meeting with the Head?

Why, after HoY spoke to dd and said she should do the exam but didn't need to attend final lessons, were sudent support tracking her down and questioning her as to why a week from the exam she wasn't taking it? IF THE HOY HAD COMMUNICATED THEN YOU WOULD KNOW THE F'KING ANSWER.

so there you are, Yep I'm worked up

Sorry Calm but your posts are not making sense.