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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

poor kids in rich schools

75 replies

Kenlee · 18/02/2015 23:40

I was rather disgusted with a parent from a so call rich school in HK saying that her child does not mix with the local plebs. Even if they attend the same school. "Scholarship should not be allowed. They should go to their own schools."

Thank goodness my DD is educated in the UK. Where having wealth is not seen as important but having good values is.

OP posts:
nokissymum · 19/02/2015 08:45

Why were you disgusted? I'd looked at her with pity and laughed in her face.

What did you say? I'm sure there are people who think like that in the U.K too to be honest.

TalkinPeace · 19/02/2015 09:03

Where having wealth is not seen as important but having good values is.

HA HA HA HA HA HA

I was the poor kid at a rich school

HA HA HA HA

certain kids made me VERY aware of it at age 4

inthename · 19/02/2015 09:31

sorry to say but the attitude is present in UK schools too. Maybe not so up front about it but some in my ds school still ask him daily why we live in a flat!

Ummymumski · 19/02/2015 09:38

We've been peddled profit over fairness in this country and been told it's OK. It's not.

Waitingandhoping2015 · 19/02/2015 09:59

Spiteful little brats aside, why should people get something for nothing when everyone else is paying for the privilege?

Clavinova · 19/02/2015 10:03

I expect rich kids in any state school tend to flock together as well, as do clever kids in state schools - poor and thick probably doesn't get you many invites.

PatrickStarisabadbellend · 19/02/2015 10:06

I was treated awfully because I was from a council estate and I went to a secondary school in a rich area.

Original poster
Kenlee · 19/02/2015 10:07

I actually was quite cross with myself for being to shocked to give her a dressing down.

Waiting we do pay as we can afford to pay. The children who can not afford too are usually very bright and bring not only academic ability but humility. So why shouldn't they be given a chance?

Friendships should not be made because of wealth. It is made on shared moments and loyalty. I have noticed when I drove my DD friends home last time I was in the UK. No one cared about their postcode.

OP posts:
Ummymumski · 19/02/2015 10:13

Why should privilege only be about your ability to pay Waitingandhoping2015? It's not how we do things on this country. Ref. The NHS.

Ummymumski · 19/02/2015 10:15

It's called a meritocracy.

angelos02 · 19/02/2015 10:18

Why should privilege only be about your ability to pay Waitingandhoping2015? It's not how we do things on this country. Ref. The NHS.

Erm? Havent you heard of BUPA and other privately run healthcare?

Waitingandhoping2015 · 19/02/2015 11:58

I think bupa have a scheme where if you can't afford it then you can get it for free. There is either a fund they use that they've built up historically or through fund raising events or they increase everyone else's payments a little so everyone who pays chips in for you.

emptycoffeepot · 19/02/2015 12:21

Ergo, people shouldn't accept scholarships to Hampton for that reason? Or, if you can afford to pay for it, it's ok to take one and mix with those who pay?

This has got to be a wind up :)

Meritocracy rules. Or should rule. Also see plenty of money snobbery where we live. It's an unwelcome fact of life.

MillyMollyMama · 19/02/2015 12:44

At my DDs very expensive boarding school, no-one actually said they sent their children there to be get away from others, but there is a strong ethos of "people like us" running through some of the parent body. That is not my background and the bursary parents aren't like that either, but it is very clear who parents mix with at Speech Day and on other occasions.

On the leavers' speech day, everyone clubbed together to pay for a buffet for parents and daughters. Except, 5 sets of parents didn't join in - they organised their own gazebo and buffet. I do not think I have ever witnessed anything so rude in a school. They had more or less ignored everyone else for years. It was a total snub to the parents who had organised the buffet and drinks for the big group and despite one of them being a university Vice Chancellor, another being Chairman of a very well know Management Accountancy and 3 others being a City Bankers, they have no manners - at all. Neither did their wives. They could not even bear to talk to the rest of us on the last day we were all in school together. So, Kenlee, these disgusting people are alive and well in the UK! Those of us who are normal just have to ignore them. It's hard though, when their kids pick up all the prizes and accolades!

Waitingandhoping2015 · 19/02/2015 12:50

Yeah bit of a wind up. There are some people that seem to think they deserve the bursary help for no great reason which is a little annoying. It's great for an exceptional child to get the opportunity. Conversely I know of an average child probably getting in to a school on at least a part bursary which seems a little bizarre but never mind.

bursarylady · 19/02/2015 13:01

Well I don't recognize any of the above. At DS school kids and parents mix together without judgement or prejudice. Nobody carries a measuring tape to check how big your living room is. Only the few multimillionaires tend to keep to themselves but that's because of the bodyguards making things a bit awkward Smile
And waiting, schools obviously think the bursary kids bring something valuable to the school.

Original poster
Kenlee · 19/02/2015 13:55

OH my goodness.... I am so thankful that in my DD school the parent body are really nice. I get constant emails to join in their get togethers when ever I am in England.

They actually take my daughter to their daughters parties and genuinely make her feel welcome. So it is quite nice. I suppose we were lucky as we chose a quient local school in the back waters of Surrey.
If my DD attended such a school I am sure DH will pull her out . He is state educated in the North of England. So he does not take kindly to toffs and snobs.

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canny1234 · 19/02/2015 15:43

Was this an internaional school Kenlee?It doesn't surprise me that HK is like this.Living in HK can breed a certain sort of arrogance..Living in the UK has its advantages and certainly in my kids local state schools everyone mixes in rich or poor.In fact being rich definitely doesn't mean you're a better parent,often the latter.

rabbitstew · 19/02/2015 20:39

To be entirely honest, if someone behaves like that and has those attitudes, I don't see how they can be a happy, well adjusted person, given their nasty little mind, so I offer them my pity... what a sad specimen.

rabbitstew · 19/02/2015 20:41

Reminds me of the peanuts in a bag incident... same sort of attitude... Lovely to know it can sometimes land you in prison. Grin

partialderivative · 19/02/2015 20:51

As a pupil, I went to a Direct Grammar school. These have since been abolished.

Basically it gave pupils of a poorer background an opportunity to enjoy a different education than they would receive in the state system. (Rightly or Wrongly)

I had no idea of the background of my peers, and I remember being ridiculed as a complete snob (quite rightly!) when I offered surprise that one of our friends was the son of a bus driver.

I shudder at the memory

happygardening · 19/02/2015 22:14

How does one parent know what another parents income is?
Bursaries are usually confidential so most parents have no idea whose on one.
At secondary school I rarely visited the houses of other pupils at DS so have no idea if the live in a shack palace or flat.
We did have Sunday Times rich listers Russian oligarchs and hereditary peers (with enormous houses etc) at my DS's prep, they mixed with everyone else, they did not keep themselves to themselves in fact it was the next lot down who seemed less friendly, the very wealthy rather than the mega wealthy. the ones who only had 10 bedroomed houses/swimming pools, a flat in London and a small holiday cottage in Cornwall. The ones with the massive house in Belgravia, the massive house in the country and three or four other houses around the world were always very normal and friendly often turning up in scruffy clothes and clapped out cars.

Original poster
Kenlee · 19/02/2015 23:20

That is exactly what we have found as well with the British boarding system too. So I was rather glad DD went boarding.

Her boarding friends from the far east all come from wealthy families but none flaunt it. You could never tell when they are around town. That their families are that wealthy. Even the wealthy local girls are just that but you would never know. Yes the school has bursary students and the girls think of them as their own. They aren't outed nor are they remainded that they are busray students.

I find boarding girls tend to stick together more.Wether you are rich or poor. To them it is not important. That is real value added. Which you will never learn in an elite international school in HK.

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nicknamerunout · 20/02/2015 00:05

Kenlee I believe we have parents (people) like that everywhere around the world in school or at work. It is more a personality issue rather than a cultural issue. Your child is in a UK boarding school. In the UK there are a lot of issues in our state schools class division is one of them too.

Original poster
Kenlee · 20/02/2015 04:57

I am so sad to hear that. If they are so rich why are they going state? If they can afford it why not send them private. So as to free up a state school place for others.

Ha Ha DH just chiped in because at private they would be the poor kids that need to prove they are rich to buy friends. Whereas the truly rich make friends on character rather than the size of your wallet.

That is so sad ...but so true at the same time.

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