Starting Year 13 (number 4!)

[Mindgone]

I just thought I'd get us started up again!

Sorry to hear about your loss, mumslife. DD1 has been similarly disrupted - my MIL died just before her mocks week (having been extremely badly for a few weeks before hand which caused massive disruption as DH had to hare off to London several times because 'this is it!' only for it not to be). The funeral took place during mocks week (organised by SIL around her DDs commitments - it could have been a week later during half term but she wanted to take her (finished school already) DD to an open day) so DD1 had to miss one mock and do it on the same day as another, having done a 400 mile round trip to a funeral the day before. So, not great preparation. She seems to have done alright though (only 3 results back so far). I'm hoping that she will be able to settle now...

mumslife I suspect in some ways it has been worse for your DD since it sounds like she was very close to her grandfather - DD1 doesn't remember MIL before she got dementia, and I think that does make a real difference (her great aunt also has dementia, and was going through a phase of phoning us up maybe 7 or 8 times a night every night during DD1's GCSEs. That was bad. And we couldn't unplug the phone in case we were being called about MIL ...) Dementia really is a bugger. But I think once things normalise round here (still very not normal at the moment as a lot of sorting out to do re realising assets to pay the care home) DD1 will be in a better place because it was worse when DH was having to rush off at the drop of a hat and of course the atmosphere was so tense it was just horrible, the waiting. :( It's been a shitty start to the year, really, but things can only get better (I hope).

lemonscilla Doing it that way will make the application very simple. If your dc only needs the tuition fees loan then he can apply by himself (you don't have to do anything & you won't have to declare your income).

Sorry to hear of those who have lost people close to them. If this happens close to important exams you can ask for this to be taken into account via the school. We lost my mum a few years ago and the funeral was the same day as DD1's drama GCSE (Logistical nightmare to get her to the funeral and then back for the exam as in a different town) The exam co-ordinator wrote a letter to the exam boards to take account of this and all her actual GCSE's were included as they fell within a certain time frame.

DD2's finance done and dusted! For those supporting applications after the 1st DC, I discovered you just log into the account you created for DC1, and click to support another application.

Uni accommodation has opened for DD2 now but impossible to apply as I think their system has crashed - everything blocked or denied atm!

Mumslife Worth letting school exams officer know about your loss, your DD will possibly get extra marks awarded. Thnk its up to 3 or 4% of available marks on paper for loss of a close relative, and exams not that far away. We lost FIL during AS, and DD got max extra marks in the last couple of papers. They don't tell you, but one went back for remark, and we could see by that.

I was intending NOT to support DDs finance application, but she thinks I should. She's not sure whether whe will be applying for DSA (long story) but seems to think you need parental support for that. I think she's wrong, as DSA not means tested.

Accommdation application done for Conservatoire course.
Knows her UCAS firm, but not insurance. Awaiting the result of a recent exam that is linked to one of her offers. I presume you have to firm, insure and reject all at the same time.

So has everyone made their decisions about first choice and insurance? DS just waiting to go to the Durham post application visit and then if all goes well he'll have that as first choice and York as insurance. The amount of time left seems scarily short only a few weeks till Easter and lots still to do!

nicecardigan is your DSL going on the 1st set of visit days? My Ds will be there on the Tuesday and Wednesday- he is flying up!

He's doing the Mon and Tues and is getting the train. He's really looking forward to it

Mines doing the Tuesday and Wednesday and he is very excited too (mostly about flying on his own I think)!

He is also considering firming Durham and insuring York (but loves Birmingham as a firm too) so a lot rests on this visit.

It's all becoming very real isn't it?

The Durham visits look very well organised DS has signed up for the music and drama talks I'm abit concerned that he seems more interested in all the extra curricula stuff rather than his actual course!

We went to the Manchester accommodation day yesterday. The students we spoke to all seemed to be having a very good student experience there. The campus was reasonably quiet though - I think most were asleep! DD is definitely firming Manchester and possibly Birmingham for her insurance (even though this may lead to accommodation problems).

nice cardigan my Ds is the same, it's the 'durham' experience and not the course thats hooked him- hence the indecision between durham and Birmingham as I suspect he deep down prefers the course at Birmingham.

Waitingaround - DD has selected the course she prefers.....but this is at the university she prefers, so 'win win' ......but now got to get the grades

Just received DS' s mock results:
Chem U
Further Maths E
Maths D
Physics E

I am gutted, absolutely devastated I want to cry and scream and rage. How can he be so bloody idiotic to not realise he HAS to do the work to get the grades? How, just HOW?

He is the most intelligent person I know (after DH), so how can this be going so wrong?

I'm horrified.

Horsmad , that must be very frustrating. Sorry if I have missed it but what grades does he need to get for his offers.

He needs AAB Hocus.

Horsemad - It is so difficult isn't it? Especially when there is a limit to what you can do. At least they are mocks not the real thing, so there is still time, especially if he starts working.

Thing is, he dismisses my input because I didn't do A levels. How could I possibly know what I'm talking about...
He is an arrogant fool. I'm not sure what approach to take next. Have tried support, ranting, explaining how much easier life is with a few A levels... Nothing seems to sink in

DH indulges him, spends money like it's going out of fashion on him. I know it shouldn't be conditional, but he's going on a trip of a lifetime in the summer and I just feel his continued apathy to further education (which is what HE wants to do, btw) is being rewarded by lovely treats etc.

We went to 12, TWELVE bloody uni open days (and duplicate visits where offer days were involved) so he's had all the help/support/attention he could've wanted and this happens.

His school offer extra lunchtime support classes - he doesn't attend.

I feel he's just taking us all for mugs.

Sorry Littleham, thanks for the flowers.

No problem. Teenagers are so stressful.

They are

I don't know what to suggest as you have obviously tried everything you can think of. Does he have a plan as to what he will do if he doesn't get those grades ? Des he realise this is his one shot at it ? Sorry to spout platitudes but I do really feel for you. Ultimately it's down to him of course but the problem is, as a parent, having perhaps a bit more perspective, and worrying that he will really regret not knuckling down now. from me too.