Advice Please.....

[lottysmum]

DD has just started (OCT HT) at an Independent School ...she's quirky but has settled in really well and I'm wonderfully proud on how she has made friends ...she was buddied up with one of the popular girls but despite "DD looking trendy" DD is out of her depth with these confident girls and she's found her way into a group where she's comfortable "5/6 girls".

The issue is the "buddy" tried to pass DD onto one of of the other girls who she thought DD would be friendly with but this girl had a possessive friend - who took offence from DD being friendly with her BFF.... DD sensed there was an issue and give her due backed off and found other friends (see above)...

However "Possessive girl" is being quite mean to DD at every opportunity (obviously she feels threatened)...and whilst DD is coping really well and the other girls are actually speaking out and telling this "Possessive girl" that she is being mean to DD I'm not sure whether I should speak to the school,...to nip it in the bud ...DD would rather that I did not interfere - she's coping with it and getting support from the other girls ....but on Friday this girl called DD a "Dirty Rat" because DD stood her ground (even the Possessive girls friend said that was uncalled for) ....I'm surprised that this is happening when DD has only been at the school 5 weeks and has done nothing to offend this girl and stepped away when she thought she was treading on icy ground.....

So do I just let DD handle this - which I think she can ...and is getting the support from other girls ...or should I speak to her form tutor and let her know I have concerns about this girls behavior ....

a heads up to the head of year will do no harm and means they are aware if the situation suddenly gets worse rather than being caught out by no information

Thanks for reply , my Dd did speak to the form tutor today - prompted by her friends given that the girl who seems to have ear marked her for picking on played a prank and put some brown stuff on DD';s chair and then declared that my Dd had pooped herself..thankfully the "bully" is not liked and therefore doesn't get the attention she's trying to get .... but she obviously needs a word in her ear ...she obviously has issues but to pick on the new girl is very unkind ...Proud of DD for the way she has handled it all ....

I think the pleasant girls are beginning to get fed up with the silly one. Most girls will find that sort of "joke" stupid and this girl will be laughed at, not admired. I would be inclined to see what happens over the next few days leading up to the end of term and see if your DD's friendships continue to gather strength. If she seems settled then perhaps she has found her niche. I found with my DDs that friendships changed in Year 9/10 when they moved into GCSE groups and grew up a bit! It seemed to become a lot easier to disassociate with the idiots and keep to your own pleasant friends. Years 7/8 can be tricky as girls compete with each other at this age and show off for laughs and kudos.