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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Is it wrong to choose a school on the basis of ethnicity?

54 replies

idiuntno57 · 07/09/2014 20:20

I live in a big city. Lots of kids travel a long way to go to 'the right' school for them. I am not sure I want my DC to have to travel so far although those who do get used to it pretty quickly.

Nearby we have one academically excellent school and one goodish comp. 98% of the kids in the academically excellent school are of a different racial origin from DC and his current friendship group. This difference is about 50% in the goodish comp which is a more accurate reflection of his current friendship groups.

Long term would it be bad for DC to be massively in the minority in this sense or is it irrelevant? Some of my friends are not even considering the academically excellent school because of the ethnic issues. Is this a wise decision?

OP posts:

Leeds2 · 07/09/2014 21:06

I personally would go for the closer, academic school and trust that the ethnic origin of the pupils would have no influence on my child's education whatsoever.

I would, probably, be concerned though if the 98% were all from one specific ethnic origin, rather than a mix. I am not sure if that would put me off.

Thefishewife · 07/09/2014 21:11

It depends why

The make up of the school and the race of your child

If you didn't put your child in the school just because you didn't like Asians much say then yubu but if you felt say your child may be builled because they are a minority then Yanbu

My son is black and and this was a real factor in our choosing a school I didn't want him having to fight his way home or his self asteam being ebbed away like mine was

Have you thought about talking to the school about this what have they found, what support do they offer to minorities with in the school

Coolas · 07/09/2014 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarsLady · 07/09/2014 22:19

My son went to a senior school were the ethnic make up was different to him. He made lots of friends (still friendly with them today - university) and had a good time at school.

Why not talk to parents at the school to get a feel of what the school is like?

TheTravellingLemon · 07/09/2014 22:22

I think it depends on whether the 98% are from the same background or all sorts of backgrounds. I wouldn't like my DS to feel left out.

bumpybecky · 07/09/2014 22:37

Part of the reason we moved house was because dd1 was the minority in her nursery class. Of the 45 children there was one other child the same ethnicity as her. The other parents wouldn't talk to me in the playground and didn't really mix outside their group. This was primary though, so a bit different.

Is your dc very academic?

TheFirstOfHerName · 07/09/2014 22:48

DS1 and DS2 (who are white) went from a mostly white primary to a mostly non-white secondary. The transition has been fine.

I would say just go for the school you think is the best fit for the child, and/or the one with the best pastoral care. Don't worry too much about academic or racial profile.

TheDalek · 07/09/2014 22:48

I think it really depends. My niece is the only white girl in her class for instance, but it's fine, because the school itself is fairly mixed (Indian, Pakistani, black British etc) anyway and from what I understand, it's only ever really referred to when they're making a few jokes and no one cares less. But I think you have to see the school and ask around a bit to be sure. Equally, my best friend's DS moved schools due to how left out and isolated he felt, the only mixed race kid in his year pretty much and the school weren't do anything to stop the bullying. So from the basic facts, I don't think you can decide, as it isn't the mix/lack of but how the school handle it iyswim?

BackforGood · 07/09/2014 23:14

For me, it's to do with the culture of the families that go there.
I wouldn't want my dcs school friends to all come from backgrounds where teens are not allowed to go to discos, cinema, swimming, mixing with their friends in other friends homes, sleepovers, parties, or (eventually) choosing their own boy/girlfriend. I want my dc to be able to do all those things with their schools friends.
So whereas I couldn't give 2 hoots about the religion or the skin colour of people, I wouldn't want my dc to miss out on what I would consider to be all the "normal" things secondary age dc do.

blueshoes · 07/09/2014 23:55

What racial origin are the 98%?

ReallyTired · 08/09/2014 00:03

Which school does your son want. He may want to go to the same school as his friends.

LadyIsabellaWrotham · 08/09/2014 00:04

Depends - 50 different groups and 2% of each is very different from 98% one specific group and 2% something else. Although eg ethnic Chinese families in the Highlands of Scotland cope (not always happily) because they simply have no choice.

Snapespotions · 08/09/2014 00:11

There are two other children in my dd's year at school with the same ethnic origin as her. It has never been an issue for is at all, but it's a very diverse and inclusive school.

If all of the 98% were of the same ethnic group as one another, I guess I'd want to consider whether that was likely to have an impact on my child, but as a general rule, if go for the excellent academic school without hesitation.

ladybirdandsnails · 08/09/2014 17:09

I would agree with others and it depends how mixed it actually is. I am very pro highly diverse schools and but also a school which suits my DC in every other way too - sports, friends with similar interests, right level of academic pressure.

HolidayPackingIsHardWork · 08/09/2014 19:12

I agree with the other posters. It really depends on whether the 98% is a different but diverse group or 98% different and homogenous.

Curioushorse · 08/09/2014 19:30

I'd also consider EAL.
I've worked in a school which was excellent, attained top marks in all inspections and had a lovely atmosphere.....but I wouldn't have sent my TV own kids there because nobody else would have had English as their first language. I find this has a serious impact on the level of class discussions....and attainment, really.

Ericaequites · 08/09/2014 20:17

I'd not want my child to attend a school where his peer group had very different values from those espoused at home.

minifingers · 08/09/2014 20:23

My son is the only Caucasian boy in his class.

He doesn't care and scarcely notices.

minifingers · 08/09/2014 20:25

Children are children - they will be interested in the same things: football, sports, sweets, tv, computer games. That's what kids talk about in school the world over.

Theas18 · 08/09/2014 21:17

Mine went from a very white primary to an ethnically diverse , white minority grammar .it was fine, in fact more than fine, it was bril.

I think the person who said " same values" was right - primary the kids were not " like them". In the grammar they were. Skin colour and country of origin irrelevant.

BackforGood · 08/09/2014 21:24

Yes minifingers but when they are 15, most dc in western culture, want a little bit of freedom to go out with their mates - as I said above, swimming, dancing, shopping, cinema, weekends away with youth groups, etc. Some cultures do not allow their teens to do this. Now, if it were a lovely mixed school with all sorts of families from all sorts of backgrounds in it, then great, but if there were almost all of one culture there that didn't allow their young people those kind of freedoms, then that would impact upon my dcs' social lives if they were a lone 1 or 2% of the population that did. In that case, then culture of the families, does become important.

cleanmachine · 08/09/2014 21:32

Back are you referring to a particular group? If it's Asians or Muslims you're referring to then I should mention that my niece is at an ethnically diverse school with a high percentage of Muslims. She is always out at the cinema/town/nandos / bowling and has just returned from being on holiday with her friends family. I agree with the poster who said that teens of every race colour and culture usually tend to be interested in the same things the world over.

Theas18 · 08/09/2014 21:40

For those who doubt " their friends won't be allowed to do teenage things". For us it's never been an issue .

On the contrary it's actually nice to know the parents of the 14-15 yr old who's party your child is going to REALLY won't allow alcohol in the house.

BackforGood · 08/09/2014 21:46

@ Theas18

Clean - I wouldn't lump all Asian people, or all Muslim people as one group, no! LOL But in some parts of some cities - I have no idea where the OP lives of course - then you do get communities from certain areas of certain countries, and yes, then there can be wider cultural divides.

For example, the young man in Glasgow on 21 Up that I was watching from last Monday, talking when he was 14.

Didadida · 08/09/2014 22:06

Gosh, you're all a tolerant lot. I wouldn't want my dcs to have no-one at all in their class who shared their culture/values. DD1 is the only white girl in her group of about 9 friends - it is a bit of a problem as they make a lot of in-jokes she doesn't get and they don't go out at all as usually doing family stuff. That said, about half her class are white and she chose the Asian girls as friends so it was an active choice. But dd2 has a mainly white group of friends and they're out all the time at sleepovers etc - again her choice, as about 2/3 of her class are non-white. I just think dd2 is having a better time.

I decided against sending them to my old school, now about 75% non-white because I had heard of racist bullying of the white kids and didn't want my dcs to have to through that.

Of course ethnic mix matters. As an adult, if I worked in a workplace, say, or went to a party where I was the only white person, I'd probably feel a bit self-conscious. Why should we expect nervous adolescents whose greatest desire is to blend in at that age, to find it any easier? If I was black, I'm sure I'd rather my dcs' school had some other black kids in. Why is that unreasonable? It's not fair to expect kids to have the confidence to be trailblazers.

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