Is it wrong to choose a school on the basis of ethnicity?

[idiuntno57]

I live in a big city. Lots of kids travel a long way to go to 'the right' school for them. I am not sure I want my DC to have to travel so far although those who do get used to it pretty quickly.

Nearby we have one academically excellent school and one goodish comp. 98% of the kids in the academically excellent school are of a different racial origin from DC and his current friendship group. This difference is about 50% in the goodish comp which is a more accurate reflection of his current friendship groups.

Long term would it be bad for DC to be massively in the minority in this sense or is it irrelevant? Some of my friends are not even considering the academically excellent school because of the ethnic issues. Is this a wise decision?

OnlyLovers - the tiresome bit about being Jewish is that the school does a lot of stuff about Holocaust Education and the Nazis, which is understandable and good, but is hard for anyone to cope with - especially if members of your own family were involved - without the whole class turning round and staring at you pityingly... Or when Judaism is covered in RS, having to be the one who explains things, answers questions. I suppose the latter could apply to anyone of any ethnicity but Judaism in particular has some quite 'heavy' cultural baggage for a young teen to have to be the representative of, on their own!

I agree that it's good that the kids learn that Jews, Muslims, Hindus etc are just normal people like them but it would be easier if you didn't have to be the sole example of your race/religion! Quite a responsibility. And hard when you're at the age where you just want to blend in.

That's very interesting to hear, Dida. I can understand about the class staring pityingly; but on the other hand shouldn't a good teacher keep a bit of a lid on that sort of thing? I can also imagine some children/teens rather basking in the attention and being proud of the fact of having knowledge/a background that none of their peers have! (although I do appreciate of course that being Jewish, specifically, does come with plenty of emotive baggage).

OnlyLovers -

Dd2 finds it embarrassing; dd2, who is more confident, just finds it boring... Don't think either of them relish the attention. I think most people just want to be somewhere they can relax and be themselves, without it being a big deal, or feeling they have to change to fit in. Hence why I'm against being the 2% in a 98% school thing.

That said, as well as being Jewish, we're white, so from that perspective, we're one of the say 45% (not quite majority) at this school, as well! Which is why I felt comfortable with sending them there. Religion is a little different to colour in that the dds don't stand out visibly in the way that the sole black child in a white school (or vice versa) would. Though all their class know they're Jewish, I doubt their year does. So I didn't think they would be under the same sort of pressure that a child of a different colour might be, potentially.

Anyway, based on my dds' experience sort of straddling both sides of the fence, as both white AND ethnic minority, I'd say I wouldn't want my dc to stick out as the only white/black child in the year. I just don't think it would be fair.

Again, I take all your points, but personally I could never relax or be myself at school either – and I didn't stand out because of ethnicity or culture/religion but for other reasons. Children and teens will always find something to single out/tease/bully their peers about, IMO.

Anyway, outside of the classroom itself, I still believe (and a lot of this thread backs up) that children and teens will find things in common and enjoy each other's company regardless of religion/colour/culture. If the OP is happy with the school in general then I don't think she should hesitate to send her child there.