OP I really feel for you. Now the end is in sight I have been able to give up the full time job I had to fund both school fees and a London mortgage. Juggling it all was tough.
Was it worth it? I regret not having the time or energy for my children, DH, our house and to some extent for me. However I am optimistic that DC will look back and feel that the investment in their education (meaning more than grades) was worthwhile. Me earning has also meant that we are now better off than we would have been. Plus I suspect I might have been bored not working.
It is not for much longer, indeed time will go far faster than you think.
Suggestions:
- Family night in. Maybe Friday nights. Box set of your favourite DVD and heat and serve curry or pizza. We watched our way through a James Bond set, and more recently the Mentalist.
- As others have suggested try to programme. So on a Saturday you all give yourselves a couple of hours work (eg without stressing it a set task with a time limit) then off to a farmers market, the local park with cricket bats or maybe a trip to the South Bank or a Museum. (Time out in a physical sense, eg getting outside and doing some exercise is very important. Maybe when it gets warmer a trip to the Lido, with a picnic and if need be some reading or things that can be tested.)
Its tough. You are in this together, but somehow it needs to be more fun.
I would then tackle why homework takes so long. My DC somehow managed the "good enough" principle fairly early. Their standard school reports refers to the need for them to pay more care and attention. Its Ok. They get through the workload without too much fuss and are doing fine.
The really important thing is to really listen in class. If you do, revising for tests becomes much easier. Often no more than reading through it on the journey into school.
Squeeze as much as you can into the school day. 15 minutes break..then sit down with a friend and work on the maths together. The ones with the busy sports or music schedules manage by heading for the library at lunchtime, or staying there for an hour after school.
Look at how they learn. The student room website has quite a lot of study material, in different formats including mind mapping etc. DD has processing issues and we cracked it when we realised her aural memory is good. Sending her off to her room to revise meant she spent hours not achieving much. Bursts of testing her verbally is much quicker. Learning, especially language learning, works better if you mix around where and how you learn.
Unless there is something obviously wrong, I would not worry about further diagnostics. We all have strengths and weaknesses, and need to make the most of what we have. If the school has some sort of SENCO/study support, it might be worth asking for an appointment to see them to discuss how your son can improve his time management and effectiveness. This might allow for a discussion with him and an agreed approach. If this includes a maximum time to be spend on any one homework he can then be supported by his class teacher. This ought to help him get faster. Some children will appear to be breezing through it all. I doubt all them are really bright. Some are just use their time more effectively. Great life skills to learn at an early stage.
I would then scour Council websites and other places for cheap holiday courses. For example there used to be some very cheap introduction to rowing courses offered by the relevant National Sports body. More expensive but still good value are things like the Smallpeice trust. Even an exchange. DD used to spend a few days with a girl she met on holiday and who lived in the country, and then we gave the girl a few days London experience. Both were envious of the other!