secondary education - not privates school choices

[dementedma]

Ok, so where can I find threads about secondary education that isn't an angst ridden should ds/dd go to this private school or that private school?
Ds attends local state school. Does anyone else on MN do this or is it just me?

Well that looks good at the top of the page!

TOSN But to go back to the OP, in fact most of those ABCD v EFG v HIJK (and state school names also get abbreviated, quite a few on RPA a state school that has recently improved dramatically from a dire state) actually do come from posters in Richmond or similar boroughs. I really do not see why coming on here to seek advice with what is a difficult decision provokes such derision, which is why I have stood up for them. Those posters are unlikely to deserve to be stereotyped as state school hating elitists. Some of them indeed have been on here asking advice on the state options as well and discovered the difficult environment they face, and others are in the process of researching that.

Fine go on the threads where those who do come out with grossly derogatory comments about state school education and let rip, I'll join in, but isn't Mumsnet supposed to be supportive? If someone asks for advice on state schools in the area, or an area I know, I will and do offer the benefit of my knowledge (and have faced threats of libel action as a result ), the local thread in particular is about to fill up with no school place, or how quickly the waiting lists move, or indeed just moved to the area and how do I make sure I get offered a place with my late application, how close to the school do I have to move? threads.

I am not saying poor me, just live and let live, and don't assume everyone conforms to an easy stereotype.

I bought my house pre kids because I loved the garden.
At the time the catchment was poor but bearable.
Since then its ended up in the BBCs list of the worst performing schools

I therefore have no guilt at all in admitting that I am MC
that I work part time to feed my yoga habit so cannot afford private
and send my kids to the next available school in that direction
which happens to be a pretty good comp

how long it will stay that way as an academy is anybody's guess

ALL of the state admissions threads are biased towards areas with problems
because people without a problem never feel the need to seek out the opinion of random others

FWIW a friend at the gym reckoned getting her son into Winchester last September was a doddle with no tutoring

I never go on St Ps vs H&Js vs JKL threads... so I wouldn't know... if they're all people who have no place at all that they can have, then it wouldn't be a good place to debate about state and private, yes.

I get what you're saying, because the OP does sort of seem to reference 'should I go to this private or that private' in a way which might be seen to apply equally to people who would also be saying, in brackets (because there is no state place at all).

But all I took from it was: hey, given that 93% of us do send our children to state schools nearby, isn't it odd that we feel in a minority here? I guess I would see the rest of the posts as a bit of an outburst of it being a pretty normal thing to do - not something that is, in ordinary life, all that much of a big deal.

I found it kind of nice because it didn't feel defensive for once (yes, my child is not the only one in top set maths with A*; no she is not being beaten up; no I didn't move somewhere posh to get that; yes, most state schools are doing a damn good job, and all those of us who find this to be so can't all be wrong!) - perhaps it was a bit cathartic!

TOSN The loud noise is in relation to the fact that that actually in our borough only 60% of children are state educated, and of those, many have faced a difficult process getting a place, and that the 40% are often first time buyers. Every March hundreds of middle class mumsnetty parents are told they do not have a school place, or one they cannot access and that generates a lot of anxiety amongst the rest. To the extent that it is very rare to find a group of mums who met in anti natal or nursery who are still in touch because their children have gone to the local primary and secondary, however much they would have liked to, communities break up as people find different school solutions or move. That was exactly the rationale for the Free School Proposal "was founded in 2011 by a small group of parents who care about our local area and its people. Faced with shrinking catchments and increased demand for our local secondaries, we could see our community breaking up as families moved away or chose non-local schools. We believed our area needed another excellent secondary school. We knew many other people agreed with us, so we decided to do something about it."

So yes we probably are annoyingly loud but we do have something to be loud about

I didn't say anyone was annoyingly loud! I just said I don't go on the School A vs School B vs School C threads!

Richmond is something of a special case and although they have problems they don't apply to the same extent elsewhere.

Ditto with 'DD/DS hasn't got accepted into XY Independent school - what should I say to the school?' The answer being that you need to know the school because they can make up their own rules.

Appeals for state schools I think, do come into a different category, because the rules are supposed to be laid down properly and applied fairly. So if someone asks 'what can I do, I wanted A but I have been given F' the advice is to tell the appeal panel that you want school A because it suits your child because of ..... and not to tell them why you don't want F because you think it's a shithole, or find out whether the e.g. distance rules have been applied correctly. This advice should be as relevant for someone in say Tyneside as in Cornwall.

Well that looks good at the top of the page!

@ nit

Hi again shootingatpigeons, that's what I was saying, hence my tag line Volvo /dog comment. Was just trying to say stereotyping is dangerous and show how ridiculous it is.

Secondary school appeals can be another lottery. I know families who moved house solely to be in a catchment area of a school, and all the parents in the road they moved out of stayed put then got in on appeal. Every last one. God knows what they all said to the panel!

Potty - if you're new to MNs education threads, don't make the mistake of thinking reasoned, friendly argument will work in the state v private debate. It won't. Ever.

I don't think anyone is saying that everyone conforms to an easy stereotype- but many do. And surely a little humour is allowed? Bearing in mind that this isn't 't a thread about a particular individual 's situation? Tha problem is that the stereotyped view some people seem to have of state school parents and pupils is so inaccurate and sometimes vile that there isn't much scope for humour the other way.......

And even less the other way martorana

Really?

mart on another thread you did say people chose selective education because they don't want to 'catch thick'.

I mean c'mon, generalisation-arama!!!!!

No point getting het up about other people making sweeoing generalisations when you're guilty as charged ...

you did say people chose selective education because they don't want to 'catch thick'.

I think she said that tongue in cheek.

I do sometimes wonder if some parents who have stretched themselves to afford a private education are trying to convince themselves that the sacrifice was worthwhile. They could then be a bit narked to hear about children who did better but went to the comprehensive, and that is why they are loud in their justifications about why a private school is better.

Now with a couple of families I know, their circumstances changed - divorce/redundancy - and suddenly the private schools were no longer an option and their tunes changed pretty smartish (and their DDs did well at the state schools).

Not getting het up about anything!

And I'm not going to play the "I said, you said, they said" game. Sorry.

But it would be impossible for anyone who didn't have a "chip on their shoulder" to be remotely offended by the contents of this thread.

I have to jump into my battered Subaru Forester now to collect various family members from various activities.

Now this really IS funny!

Diabolo, sadly, you're right, and thank you for the virtual wine, I have virtually drunk it and must need to hit myself virtually over the head with the virtual bottle if I have come back onto this thread tonight expecting anything to be any different!

State v private pugilists can argue themselves blue or red in the face for all I care, I just don't like watching adults reduce what is a fair point made by the original poster and a good debate to playground level.

I shall refrain from reasoned, friendly comments and add poo, bum and wee wee to my argument on the advice of my 7 year old DS. He reckons it works for him every time.

Private schools are great, they keep some of the incurable snobs out of state schools

Grammar schools are even better as they keep the really incurable snobs out of both private and comprehensive schools.

Faith schools are the best as they keep the hypocrites out of comps.

with apologies to Alan Coren

TalkingPeace - My DS goes to a faith comp...I bus him there to keep him out of the local secondary modern and nearby (super selective) grammar school.

I am doing so many people favours, it's untrue.

(And if your DS is in my DSs year & just scraped in to our local grammar school by the hair of their teeth you can thank me )

Seriously though, what do you do when the only school is an oversubscribed Faith School and you didn't have your children christened at birth, or don't polish the brasses or whatever?

I suppose the answer could be to not allow them to make extra conditions - so exactly the same admittance criteria apply? You'd could still allow them to express their particular ethos: an RC school would hold masses or C of E to go to services in the Parish Church.

Sorry, I have lowered the tone by asking a serious question - forgive me, it's past my bedtime!

It can't be the only school, though, can it? Except in a very few areas, aren't there are enough school places to go round?

LaVolcan
I'm being childish - at the Catholic schools round here, most of the kids are Muslim - as the parents want single sex - with a good selection of sikhs, chinese and pagans outnumbering the poor catholics.
Catholic parents often give up on the horrific drives to distant schools and go to the comps

Martorana
admission stats show that in most of the country there are just about enough places.