secondary education - not privates school choices

[dementedma]

Ok, so where can I find threads about secondary education that isn't an angst ridden should ds/dd go to this private school or that private school?
Ds attends local state school. Does anyone else on MN do this or is it just me?

Pottiottie- did you miss my post where I pointed out that all the things state school parents are giggling at on this thread aren't stereotypical constructs- they have actually been said? And worse?

Word- what analogy ? I didn't think I had made one. The issue with saying "I had no choice but to go private" is the choice of words. I would have respect for someone who said " I did have a choice- because I am rich and I thank heaven fasting every
day that I did" . But it is very rare that anyone says that. There is always the suggestion that anyone could do the same if only they tried hard enough, talk of bursaries and scholarships which everyone knows are rarely more than a drop in the ocean....

Privileged people have more choices. Rich privileged people have even more.

Hmm- which is more intelligent- a collie or a Border? I think I'd back the border....

Sorry about that!

You don't find out till March?

We got confirmation before the Christmas holidays here (Glasgow) that ds had got into the same school as his big sister (feeder primary, no surprises, exactly what we wanted!).

March? I'd be going nuts!!

Yep, Weegiemum - 3rd of March for state schools. It must be hair raising for a lot of people, I'm glad that I have no choice. Though if our local secondary were bad, I would these days have the option to Home Ed - it would be tough financially, but not impossible the way it would have been even 3 years ago.

Martorana it would depend which 11+ exam you used, reasoning or attainment, and whether they were tutored or not, those Collies are great rote learners

I seenodust you are right, in our local park it is all poshos Labradors andchavs pit bulls

martorana I must admit I'm always a bit dubious about what people coukld cut back on to pay school fees.

For my two it's over twelve grand a term...hardly loose change.

But then again, there are much cheaper schools, and lots of people just have one in private, don't they?

I suppose what people are trying to get across is that they're not rich. They're not bankers or memebers of the landed gentry. They might be just two full time working professionals who aren't spending their cash on things that their mates might be to pay for school.

Some people leave themselves pretty strapped to pay fees. But what choice do they have if they don't get allocated a place close enough to hand, or their local state school doesn't have the right provision?

It's not a real meaningful choice really.

word it is compared to people on a low income who might have exactly the same issues but cannot afford to pay their way out. That isn't a judgement on anyone, it's just fact. You say you pay £12k a term, so £36k a year. If you're a family living on NMW then private education is completely out of reach no matter what your children's needs are, but you have to suck it up.

There are no easy answers, though there are a few obvious 'Don't do it this way' resolutions. Opening up a free school with a uniform costing £megabucks, like the one in the very deprived town next door to ours, would be one of those....

Of coursepointy

Anyone who can stump up fees somehow aint poor. I don't think anyone has ever claimed that have they?

No, but there are people on here (you are not one of them) who don't seem to see the different levels of not having a choice that exist. If you can stump up fees then you do have choice, though I completely understand that it's a choice between a rock and a slightly smaller, more comfortable rock.

It's madness that there are places in the UK where a child can't get a place because the only provision available is faith provision. This government is doing nothing to help that by insisting that local authorities aren't allowed to open up new schools because all new schools must be Academies or Free Schools. It's very sad.

OP has a point though. If you click on the Education link right now, at least half the questions relate to independent schools of various sorts. Similar position on the Secondary Education link.

Still I suppose if there is only one state school which is feasible then there is not much point posting - you have to send your child there and find the way of making the best of it.

I should say also identified by initials only......

Now my old school WC (yes really) is a very good comprehensive.

Martorana, don't understand, I was agreeing with your earlier thread. I don't feel got at by anyone on this thread, the lampooning doesn't apply to my situation (still need winning lottery ticket) nor do I think that the lampooning is completely unjustified, but it does smack of chips on shoulders and feeds directly into the justification of some better-off families to sneer at worse-off ones. It just doesn't help the situation.

That's all I was trying to say, I did state that "I'm sure some mums have been on the receiving end etc. etc." And I've no doubt, in fact I'm certain, that people have get worse abuse because I've seen and heard it from both ends of the spectrum at my kids' own state school between parents from different financial circumstances. (Sighs and wishes they'd all give up and just concentrate on supporting the school).

But the "battered Volvos", breed of dog comments etc etc ARE stereotypes. Even dogs are getting class stereotyped now!! It's the "us" and "them" that I'm getting at and I don't like, I don't give a flying one whether anyone is from state/ private sector (I'm state, btw, in case that makes me more popular ;) but make no apologies that I've tried for the private sector due to my daughter's needs. To get to the best state comprehensive in my area would constitute a house move into a very expensive postcode.

It isn't fair that not everyone who wants it has access to private education, it isn't fair that not everyone who wants it has access to the massive amount of excellent state education available, but slagging off any sector of society isn't fair either: having or not having money doesn't make you a worthier human being. There's not a massive amount we can do about the school situation, voting red instead of blue or any particular colour didn't make much difference over the last two decades. I just think that the "us and them" attitude is the kind of unfairness that we CAN do something about on a public forum...must go now, just looked out the window and seen my pit-bull peeing on my Volvo.

lavolcan give it a wekk or so for state school allocations to come out and the boards will be on fire... appeal advice a-go-go.

But I suppose private schools will always be over represented here on MN because it's essentially a middle class forum, and quite London-centric at that.

And yes, because as you say, most parents choosing private schools do have a choice, so want to chew it over with others. It's a big decision for many parents, particularly first time buyers.

Similarly, if you look on the Higher Education threads, Oxbridge and other highly selective universities gather more airtime than, say, Leeds Met...it's just the MN demographic .

Must say, lavolcan, I just thought that the private school thread flurry had happened because of the offer dates and would be unusual, didn't realise it was the norm as am new to mumsnet. I think you are absolutely right, as I said earlier, I agree that after Monday it will be state sector appealsville.......

Hope that doesn't include me!! LOL!!!

Potty Irony. The dog, volvo thing was taking the piss out of the stereotyping. Believe me if you knew what I do for a day job you would know why I am passionately opposed to all the dangerous stereotyping that goes on in our media, on these pages etc. It is wrong to assume that someone fits a mould because of one aspect of their behaviour, economic situation, ethnicity, country of origin or whatever parameter you care to choose. Often those moulds are very dangerously wide of the mark. Sadly we have a government that embraces that sort of soundbite thinking.

at Potty's Volvo-washing pitbull

Waves at Shooting. We must stop meeting like this

Crikey. Serious sense of humour failure in some quarters.

It is also worth remembering that the median UK income is £27k pa (gross)

"Battered old Volvo" is a Mumsnet meme- meaning "honestly, there is just as much of a mix of people in the private sector as there is in the state sector" cf "We don't have holidays any more- we just chuck the tent in the back of the BOV and go down to Cornwall"

It's ironic rather than offensive.

Actually Eli we are hopefully going to meet as MAS is heading up the M3, we just need gigs to give us dates and I'll pm you. I'll be the one in the Porsche that is washed hourly by a chav flunky who uses the hides of pitbulls to get a nice sheen.

Shooting absolutely. Under this government there has been a massive rise in factionalism and mistrust. It's really sad actually.

Well, I'm back from my day as a not-very-cool lecturer at a not-very-top University.... but cheers!

I still don't see much wrong with this thread to be honest... I take the point that some are objecting because not everyone who uses private schools feels they had much choice but to do so, and they personally wouldn't dream of coming out with some of the statements and ideas which have been parodied above. But it's not as though you see an awful lot of posts on MN angsting about situations like that - I've never seen anyone say they are fundamentally uncomfortable with private education but are using it anyway - though of course perhaps those people don't post on that subject. If there are such people, I don't think they should feel targetted by anything on here!

But I do not see most of the irritating comments about state schools/comprehensives as coming from posters who live in Richmond and got offered No School... Indeed, some people seem to me (or perhaps I am paranoid) quite deliberately to set out to rile with some of their comments. So 'let's all feel sorry for those who had to go private and just be a bit more supportive' doesn't quite sit right with me.

There's not a post on the first few pages here that isn't a response to something that's actually been said - and maybe it is a bit snarky, and even a bit childish, but that's all I can see.

It never takes long, though, for 'chips on shoulders' and 'inverted snobbery' to get thrown about!

I have a deep frying pan on my shoulder. I am both oleaginous and inflamed.

Are you a 1920s Lesbian who despises the lower orders?