Is it right to make our children study for GCSE'S?

[coolmom420]

I have a 15 year old daughter who is in year 11 and has exams coming up. My approach to parenting is quite laid back; I don't force her to do anything, and I make her feel happy and secure. I haven't ever pressured her into studying for exams in high school, as I feel that she is old enough to figure out what she wants to do herself. She is a smart girl, and does get good grades without studying, and I have told her that no matter what her GCSE grades are I will still love her, because grades aren't important to me. She also spends about 10 hours a day on the internet, on twitter, tumblr, and other sites. I never annoy her, I always let her do her own thing, as I am not that kind of parent. She never acts spoilt, and is a very well behaved girl.

I was just wondering what your attitudes to studying/homework and internet usage where? All ideas will be completely grateful. :-)

Well nolimas you have been reported

Ridiculous and irresponsible. Your dd will probably look back at her adolescence and wonder why her mother wasn't more of a parent to her and why she was allowed to get too little sleep and waste 10 hours a day on social media. You're her mother, not her mate.

You are encouraging your 15 year old to survive on 5 hours sleep a night?!

OP - of course your DD is stressed out by school: you aren't supporting her studies, so she's all on her own. Poor girl.

Zombie thread.

I highly doubt that she is inseparable from her phone for 10 consecutive hours. I'm assuming she eats dinner, takes breaks, talks to you occasionally. I think a lot of parents obsess over grades which is just as damaging. I pretty much did as I wanted as a teenager and I do wish someone had encouraged me more. No GCSEs aren't everything but IMO it's more about teaching her to have the attitude that putting in work to achieve things is good. University and even college doesn't force you to do anything, they leave it entirely up to you so I think it's important to set her up for that.

Your job as a parent is to nurture and encourage your daughter not leave her to her own devices. 10 hours daily on social networking and 5 hours sleep is not good for her. Teens need more sleep as they are at a time of prime brain development. As a social worker I would say you are being very neglectful of your daughter and limiting her future.

In other words, your 15 year old is addicted to the Internet and you support that because school I stressful? Wow! I think that's a form of neglect tbh

Employers look for more than exam results, they look at activities, outside interests and general attitude.

What on earth will your dd put on her cv?

A few exam passes and likes going on Facebook.

Teaching her valuable life skills there.

Weak parenting.

Well done.

That's sarcasm, before someone shoots me down.

OP, I can't advise you because you have the most atypical teenager in the whole world, who gets up at 6am having slept only 5 hours.

I don't know any like this, so can only assume that you know best with your highly unusual child.

What does her father think?

ZOMBIE THREAD!!!

My 15 yr old DS is a very bright lad, scholarship, A* in English already, says he wants to try for Oxbridge, blah, blah, blah.

He is also proved in the last two years to be capable of being utterly maddeningly lazy, immature, disorganised and quite keen on doing the bare minimum homework and winging his class tests with no revision.

However, he is actually secretly happy and quite noticeably settled and focussed because at the start of the Autumn term we stepped in and imposed a sensible but no arguments boundary on getting homework done the day it is set and away from the screen. We have also agreed a structured timetable of revision for the next 6 weeks revising for his mocks. We helped him set up the timetable, he had some leeway on how he likes to work but we police it and make sure he does it.

Once he has done his work he is allowed as much screen time as he likes but he is also keen rower and is out doing hard water and land training 5 times a week runs a judo club training session one day a week and then sees his girlfriend on Sunday.

We are still the strictest parents in the world, sooooo embarrassing and 'Dad you need to chill' is his favourite phrase but he admitted that he likes the fact that on a Sunday he knows he has nothing hanging over him and he is quite upbeat as he is also getting very good and much more consistently high grades in class.

Teenagers need boundaries but you have to remember they are not little adults. They need an adult who cares for them to help them.

I know it's a zombie.... 14yo DD gets up at 6am after less than 6 hrs sleep. I hate it too!! Faffs about doing heaven knows what (Wifi is off).

Yes ZOMBIE THREAD!!!

But wouldn't we like the OP to come back and tell us how those GCSEs went and what her DD is doing now